600 Podcasts and Counting...
Subscribe to Insights at the Edge to hear all of Tami's interviews (transcripts available, too!), featuring Eckhart Tolle, Caroline Myss, Tara Brach, Jack Kornfield, Adyashanti, and many more.
Most Recent
Trauma: The Invisible Epidemic
Dr. Paul Conti is a graduate of Stanford University School of Medicine. He completed his psychiatry training at Stanford and at Harvard. Dr. Conti has served patients and clients throughout the United States and internationally. With Sounds True, he has released a new book called Trauma: The Invisible Epidemic: How Trauma Works and How We Can Heal From It (featuring a foreword by Lady Gaga). In this podcast, Tami Simon speaks with Dr. Conti about healing the unresolved trauma we hold inside both individually and collectively. They also discuss how trauma operates differently in different people, overcoming “reflexive shame,” self-inquiry and the embrace of a “true life narrative,” perseverance and self-compassion, strategies for dealing with traumatic triggers, resolving our grief, how trauma affects the map of our inner landscape, inherited trauma, become a healing resource for others, and much more.
Communicating with ‘Calmfidence’
Patricia Stark is a personal coach and certified body language trainer. With Sounds True, she’s released the book Calmfidence: How to Trust Yourself, Tame Your Inner Critic, and Shine in Any Spotlight. In this episode of Insights at the Edge, Tami Simon talks with Patricia about what it takes to cultivate “calmfidence”—a combination of robust confidence and inner calm that grounds you no matter the circumstances. Patricia details her own journey from a painfully shy childhood to becoming a sought-after speaker. Tami and Patricia discuss tools and tricks for building calmfidence, including on-the-spot exercises such as the Snow Globe or the Sack of Potatoes practices. Finally, they talk about the hidden advantages of nervousness, the necessity of active listening, and why each of us has a personal truth waiting to be shared with the world.
How Do You Shine Bright? Managing Your Energy Ecosyste...
When you hear the phrase “shining bright,” what does it evoke for you? Does it mean being yourself? Is it radiance, openness, or casting your energy outward toward others? Is it being the center of attention?
For me, shining bright is about sustainable personal energy, understanding your unique spiritual makeup or energetic personality archetype. It’s about managing your energy ecosystem. It’s also about keeping the balance of what’s “coming in” and what’s “going out,” as all healthy systems do.
One of the ways I feel my “brightest” is when I’m in nature, especially in the little jungle of my backyard. As I write this, a rabbit is relentlessly distracting me by flashing its ears in my line of sight, stretching up to grab some leaves, ducking down into the ivy. Observing and immersing myself in nature keeps my energy ecosystem healthy. It helps me see the bigger picture of the earth’s systems and appreciate the extraordinary beauty that exists in our seemingly ordinary spaces. I breathe differently and feel lighter when I’m watching the creatures and plants outside.
Rabbits don’t do it for you? You may need the bright lights of the stage, deep long meaningful conversations, sweaty workouts, or something else. It’s a combination of things that blend to create ideal self-care habits, big and small routines that honor who we naturally are and help us be our most radiant.
It’s hard to shine bright when you’re burned out. Many of us are overwhelmed, facing disasters of all kinds. Even if we’re not experiencing direct trauma, the world feels chaotic. That can make it easier for us to spin out of control a little too and neglect healthy habits. Maybe, like me, you love and are rejuvenated by time in nature, but feel you must travel to far-off places to find the wild and that’s not possible right now. Maybe you’ve struggled to find a practice that suits who you are and fits into your life. Maybe you feel the experiences of those around you so keenly in your body that it’s hard to distinguish your own emotions and needs.
We’re vulnerable to burnout when we get overwhelmed and depleted when we become cynical and feel negative and ineffective about our work. We start to distance ourselves from others and detach from ourselves, our needs, and what it takes to be healthy and happy.
I have two resources to help, one is available now, and one will be available soon.
Even if you only have a few moments, making time to meditate or journey regularly can help avoid burnout. Shamanism for Every Day: 365 Journeys is a daily guide for reconnection. No pressure, not another to-do list item, but a gentle way to engage your inner wisdom and the support of the spirits around you to stay healthy. Shining Bright Without Burning Out: Spiritual Tools for Creating Healthy Energetic Boundaries in an Overconnected World is an audio course that will help you step by step to manage what comes into your energy ecosystem and what goes out. We’ll reframe how you engage the world in order to stay compassionate and present, without losing your spark or burning out, so that you can shine bright and enjoy your time here on this beautiful earth.
Preorder Shining Bright Without Burning Out now!
Mara Bishop has over 25 years of experience helping people find spiritual health and well-being. Her Personal Evolution Counseling™ method blends shamanism, psychology, intuition, energy healing, and nature-based practices. She lives in Durham, NC with a beloved family of people, animals, and plants.
More information about Mara is at www.WholeSpirit.com
Customer Favorites
Ep 4: There Is No Future if We Go Numb
We recorded this conversation just after news broke of the Biden administration’s approval of the controversial Willow Project, opening up millions of wilderness acres in Alaska to new fossil fuel drilling. Jess captured in real time how Joanna processes the fresh outrage and sorrow of this insult to the planet from the very culpable powers that be. It’s a master class in being present with these feelings—feelings that can give rise to determination, courage, and recommitment to our shared purpose.
In this episode:
- As the news of the Willow Project breaks, Joanna flows through outrage and sorrow
- The second step on the spiral: what does it mean to honor our pain, and how do we do it?
- Bonus Exercise: Breathing Through
We recommend starting a podcast club with friends or family to do these practices together. Links and assets to help prompt reflection and build community can be found with every episode on WeAreTheGreatTurning.com.
A Compassionate Approach to Recognizing Trauma Bonding
The theory of attachment styles became popularized in the last 15 years; now trauma is (finally) getting recognition from the mainstream. But most of us aren’t yet clear about the very deep connection that exists between trauma and certain attachment styles. This is where the concept of “trauma bonding” comes into play.
What is trauma bonding?
Trauma bonding happens when we get attached to someone who is often neglectful or abusive (physically, emotionally, or psychologically), but is also occasionally kind. When we’re attached to someone like this, we typically explain away their bad behavior, claiming “they had a hard day” or “it was my fault they got mad at me.” Rationalization offers us a semblance of protection from seeing the reality of the danger and inequality in the relationship.
It’s common to form a trauma bonding pattern when one of our parents or partners is erratic, abusive, or absent. But often the template of trauma bonding gets applied to many of our relationships.
Signs You Have a Trauma Bond
If you’re in a trauma bond relationship right now, you may make dramatic or sudden life changes or even great sacrifices for the sake of the relationship to the detriment of outside friendships, family, and your autonomy.
Even if the original, harmful relationship is now a thing of the past (e.g., you moved out, you broke up with the manipulative partner, or your former abuser has died), the trauma bonding pattern may remain embedded until you learn how to consciously uproot it.
Signs this trauma bonding template is still present can include:
- Emotionally caretaking others while your own needs and desires are swept under the rug
- Acting as if you continually need to prove your worth to others (and yourself)
- Avoiding being authentic or open because it feels like too great a risk
- Feeling frustrated, exhausted, hypervigilant, or unsupported in relationships due to perceiving pressure coming from others
- A pattern of feeling disempowered around coworkers, a spouse, or family members
What Causes Trauma Bonding?
When we experience stress and feel (consciously or unconsciously) we’re in danger, our sympathetic nervous system activates the “fight or flight” response. As long as that circuitry is activated, we’re not able to plan for the future or assess risks very clearly; our nervous system gets locked in survival mode to get through the stress. In other words, it’s not your fault that you can’t see what’s going on.
The challenge is heightened because of the intermittent reinforcement that characterizes trauma bonds: we receive occasional comfort or love in the relationship, which is sprinkled on top of the typical abuse or neglect. Like other forms of intermittent reinforcement, it’s an addictive combination to be exposed to, and one that hampers our ability to understand we’re being mistreated.
Because we focus so intently on the positive reinforcement we experience from time to time with our abuser, we contort ourselves psychologically to try to get the love as often as we can. Once this pattern is established, it is naturally hard to stop engaging it—again, because of the way our nervous system developed. Getting outside support to stop the cycle is an act of strength and wisdom.
Should You Break a Trauma Bond?
If you’re in clear and real danger, it is most important to find a way to safely remove yourself from harm. Over the longer term, the best approach is learning to create healthy relational boundaries so as not to form or reform trauma bonds.
Once you start to become aware of the trauma bonding pattern operating in you, you can recognize and address the behaviors it causes. You can uncover and listen to your buried needs and wants, and reclaim your personal power and freedom. Doing this can help you shift your nervous system out of past trauma bonding tendencies and toward new possibilities, including nurturing mutual relationships with people who are interested in your happiness and will support your thriving.
To find out more about healing traumas (including trauma bonding), please check out The Healing Trauma Program, hosted by Jeffrey Rutstein, PsyD, CHT.
Resolving Anxiety At Its Root, Part 1
Dr. Friedemann Schaub is a physician best known for his breakthrough programs for the treatment of fear and anxiety disorders. The author of the Sounds True book The Fear and Anxiety Solution, Dr. Schaub has developed a method of self-empowerment that combines his medical expertise with NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), timeline therapy, and clinical hypnotherapy. In the first half of a two-part conversation on Insights at the Edge, Tami Simon speaks with Friedemann about how we can develop a language that lets the subconscious and conscious mind work in harmony. Dr. Schaub also outlines the root causes of anxiety and leads us through the Pattern Resolution Process for resolving emotional wounds. (69 minutes)
