Erin Clabough: Developing Empathy, Creativity, and Self-Control in Children

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January 15, 2019
Podcast

Insights at the Edge

Erin Clabough: Developing Empathy, Creativity, and Self-Control in Children

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Dr. Erin Clabough is an assistant professor of biology and neuroscience at Hampden-Sydney College. With Sounds True, she has published Second Nature: How Parents Can Use Neuroscience to Help Kids Develop Empathy, Creativity, and Self-Control. In this episode of Insights at the Edge, Tami Simon speaks with Erin about the experience of raising four children while also pursuing her PhD, and how this informed the lessons in Second Nature. Erin describes specific methods she’s used to challenge and discipline her children in ways that encourage the development of positive lifelong traits, as well as how these methods can be applied in any family. Erin and Tami discuss the tricky modern issue of screen time and the different ways to approach rules with differently aged children. Finally, they talk about the concept of emotional “scaffolding” and what it takes to really model positive behaviors in your daily life. (56 minutes)

Tami’s Takeaway: Have you ever noticed that sometimes when someone says, “I’m sorry” for some ignorant or destructive action, their apology can feel insufficient or incomplete? A mother of four and a neuroscience educator, Erin Clabough says to her children, “I don’t want your ‘sorry.’ I want you not to do it again.” Erin teaches her children what she calls “the OUT method.” O stands for “owning the action you took.” U stands for “understanding how that action affected other people.” And T stands for “telling the person you hurt how you will do it differently next time.” What a powerful way to build empathy in children and for all of us to make amends when we need to!

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Erin Clabough: Developing Empathy, Creativity, and Sel...

Dr. Erin Clabough is an assistant professor of biology and neuroscience at Hampden-Sydney College. With Sounds True, she has published Second Nature: How Parents Can Use Neuroscience to Help Kids Develop Empathy, Creativity, and Self-Control. In this episode of Insights at the Edge, Tami Simon speaks with Erin about the experience of raising four children while also pursuing her PhD, and how this informed the lessons in Second Nature. Erin describes specific methods she’s used to challenge and discipline her children in ways that encourage the development of positive lifelong traits, as well as how these methods can be applied in any family. Erin and Tami discuss the tricky modern issue of screen time and the different ways to approach rules with differently aged children. Finally, they talk about the concept of emotional “scaffolding” and what it takes to really model positive behaviors in your daily life. (56 minutes)

Tami’s Takeaway: Have you ever noticed that sometimes when someone says, “I’m sorry” for some ignorant or destructive action, their apology can feel insufficient or incomplete? A mother of four and a neuroscience educator, Erin Clabough says to her children, “I don’t want your ‘sorry.’ I want you not to do it again.” Erin teaches her children what she calls “the OUT method.” O stands for “owning the action you took.” U stands for “understanding how that action affected other people.” And T stands for “telling the person you hurt how you will do it differently next time.” What a powerful way to build empathy in children and for all of us to make amends when we need to!

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Mindful Movement: Walking Meditation 101

The Here and Now

What if you could change your life by doing one thing for just ten seconds each day? What if this thing would make you more contented, more grounded, and less stressed?

Welcome to mindfulness.

We spend almost all of our time worrying about two things: what has already happened (the past) and what hasn’t happened yet (the future). This only makes us miserable. The past is over, so there’s nothing we can do about it. And the future isn’t something we should be thinking about right now—unless we’re taking concrete action toward a goal.

Mindfulness breaks us out of this pattern by turning our awareness to the simple moments of life as they happen. We laser in on our senses as we’re experiencing them, and we feel them deeply.

So, the way to “be deep” is to focus on what’s going on right now.

I have two favorite ways to zap into the present moment.

The first way is to briefly tune in to my breath a few times a day. Set an alarm on your watch or phone to go off at three set times during the day. When it goes off, close your eyes and take three deep breaths. Notice how the breath feels as it flows in and out. Let go of whatever else is going on in your mind. Then open your eyes and go back to your day.

The second way is to tune in to the little details of the day. Say you’re picking up a water bottle. Consider this: How does the bottle feel in your hand? Is it heavy or light? When you take a sip of the water, how does it feel on your tongue? Is it cool or warm? What does it taste like? Try this exercise with one small act each day.

deepMINDFUL MOVEMENT: Walking Meditation

Walking meditation is a great way to de-stress and get centered while moving your body and getting some fresh air. It takes only a few minutes, so you can do it almost anywhere.

  1. The next time you’re walking down the street, start by getting your senses alert. Tune in to the pace of your steps and fall into the rhythm of the steps. What do they sound like?
  2. Turn your attention to an object you see as you’re walking. It might be a sign, a tree, or a building. Look intently at that object and observe it without labeling it. Just notice it.
  3. Now turn your attention to the noises that surround you. Don’t label them. Just listen.
  4. Finally, turn your attention to your breathing. Is it fast and shallow or slow and deep? Take a few deep breaths and continue with your steady pace.
  5. When you finish your walking meditation, take a minute and pause before reentering your day. Notice the way your body and mind feel. Carry that alertness and presence with you into the rest of your day

walking meditation

This is an excerpt from the chapter “Be Deep” from Whole Girl: Live Vibrantly, Love Your Entire Self, and Make Friends with Food by Sadie Radinsky.

 

sadie radinskySadie Radinsky is a 19-year-old blogger and recipe creator. For over six years, she has touched the lives of girls and women worldwide with her award-winning website, wholegirl.com, where she shares paleo treat recipes and advice for living an empowered life. She has published articles and recipes in national magazines and other platforms, including Paleo, Shape, Justine, mindbodygreen, and The Primal Kitchen Cookbook. She lives in the mountains of Los Angeles. For more, visit wholegirl.com.

 

 

 

 

whole girl bookSounds True | Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Bookshop | Indiebound

Vegan Salted Caramel

Vegan Salted Caramel

From the book, Whole Girl by Sadie Radinsky

Yield: Serves 10

 

INGREDIENTS:

  • ½ cup coconut sugar
  • ¾ cup full-fat coconut milk 2 tsp vanilla extract
  • 1 tsp coconut oil
  • ¼ tsp sea salt
  • 2 – 5 apples, sliced, for dipping

 

INSTRUCTIONS:

  1. Whisk together the coconut sugar and coconut milk in a medium saucepan and bring to a boil over medium-high heat.
  2. Once the mixture has started boiling, turn down the heat to medium-low and let the caramel simmer for 20 to 25 minutes, whisking every couple minutes. If it starts to smell very strong, remove from heat; it could be burning. When the caramel appears to have thickened considerably and darkened in color, remove from heat.
  3. Slowly whisk in the vanilla extract, coconut oil, and sea salt. Let the caramel cool for at least 10 minutes, to thicken up more. Pour the caramel into a small jar. I recommend serving it with sliced apples for a healthy snack. Store any leftover caramel in a sealed jar in the refrigerator for up to 2 weeks.

salted caramel

sadie radinsky

Sadie Radinsky is a 19-year-old blogger and recipe creator. For over six years, she has touched the lives of girls and women worldwide with her award-winning website, wholegirl.com, where she shares paleo treat recipes and advice for living an empowered life. She has published articles and recipes in national magazines and other platforms, including Paleo, Shape, Justine, mindbodygreen, and The Primal Kitchen Cookbook. She lives in the mountains of Los Angeles. For more, visit wholegirl.com.

Setting Intentions to Clear the Mind

Clear Your Mind

Do you ever feel like your brain might burst? Right this minute, my mind is simultaneously processing way too many thoughts:

Need to walk the dogs.

Text my friend back.

Tomorrow’s physics final.

College applications.

Need to make lunch.

What time do I have to wake up tomorrow?

It seems as though my mind is always on overload. But I’m not actually getting anything done. Why is this?

It’s because our brains aren’t meant to hold this much information. Science shows that we can only store a maximum of three or four things at once in our conscious mind, also known as our “working memory.” When we hold on to more than this, our brains become like messy rooms—cluttered and full of junk, so we can’t find anything. No wonder I feel so overwhelmed and disorganized.

clear final

 

I Intend

Another way we can be clear is by setting intentions each morning. Intentions are state- ments for how we would like to go about our day. Unlike a goal, an intention doesn’t require any steps to reach a certain objective. It’s simply a way to be.

Intentions work like magic. They affect our behavior, how our day goes, and even what things “happen” to us. Here’s how to get started:

  1. Make your intentions at a set time each day, such as right after waking up. Take a deep breath. Notice how you feel. Do you have pain anywhere in your body? What is the first thought that pops into your mind? Is your brain racing with stress or worry? Pay attention to all of it.
  2. Ask yourself, What do I want to bring into this day? Breathe and listen to your body’s answer.
  3. Roll over, grab a pen and notebook, and write down three intentions for the day. Be sure to state them all in the affirmative. (For example, “I will practice forgiveness” rather than “I will not hold a grudge.”) Here is a sample:

I will be patient with myself.

I will listen intently to others. 

I will speak out of kindness.

  1. Read over your list. Let your intentions seep in. It might help to read them out loud. When you feel satisfied, seal the practice with another deep breath. Throughout your day, whenever you feel yourself becoming overwhelmed or stressed, think back to those statements.

This is an excerpt from the chapter “Be Clear” from Whole Girl: Live Vibrantly, Love Your Entire Self, and Make Friends with Food by Sadie Radinsky.

 

sadie radinskySadie Radinsky is a 19-year-old blogger and recipe creator. For over six years, she has touched the lives of girls and women worldwide with her award-winning website, wholegirl.com, where she shares paleo treat recipes and advice for living an empowered life. She has published articles and recipes in national magazines and other platforms, including Paleo, Shape, Justine, mindbodygreen, and The Primal Kitchen Cookbook. She lives in the mountains of Los Angeles. For more, visit wholegirl.com.

 

 

 

 

whole girl bookSounds True | Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Bookshop | Indiebound

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