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In 2020, Find Your Life’s Purpose (the japanese ...

Why do you get up every morning? What motivates you to get out of bed every day? In Japan there is a term to describe our reason for living or being: ikigai

 

We all have an ikigai, even if we don’t know it. 

 

In fact, the search for an ikigai is what will bring large doses of satisfaction and self-fulfillment because when you connect with your ikigai, your life will acquire a meaning. Often we live a life that is full of appearances, possessions that appear to speak for who we are, jobs that provide much prestige but that we don’t enjoy, inherited stereotypes, scraps of other lives, and only superficial meaning. But that life full of appearances has a tendency to crumble and fall apart, and, when it does, it’s usually in the form of a crisis. For some people, the crisis that tends to happen in adult life is an opportunity to ask ourselves what our ikigai is and what the meaning of our life is. However, when you are suffering, it’s not the best time to find a meaning for your life, because from a place of lacking, everything is harder. 

 

Look for Your Ikigai

 

We have already established that at the very least you already have one ikigai, a reason to pick up your pieces. But I encourage you to think about what other ikigais you can find. Analyze the meaning of your life up until now and evaluate whether you need to redefine it. 

 

Sometimes, because we have good intentions, we mistakenly believe that our lives consist only of our children, partners, work, parents, or a long list of other things, but in reality, you must never allow all your life’s responsibilities to revolve around a single meaning or a single motivation.

 

I have many ikigais that I carry with me every day! I get up for myself and for everything I enjoy doing. I get up for my wife and for my daughter, for my clients; to go for a stroll, to go for a bike ride, or to get lost skiing in the mountains; to use my talent to remove psychology from the confines of the lecture theater, to learn and teach, travel, smile, and enjoy a kiss and a hug. Each morning I get up for the bear hug I will give my daughter, to feel the sun on my skin, to get drenched in the rain, and to curl up with a good book. I could fill pages and pages with my ikigais, though that wouldn’t make as interesting a book, now would it? 

 

An Exercise in Ikigai

To begin this exercise, ask yourself about the meaning behind what you are doing, where you are living, your work, your partner, your lifestyle, and your vacations. I encourage you to go over each and every one of the aspects of your life and to ask yourself whether they contribute to your happiness.

 

Start questioning the meaning of what you are about to do in each moment of your day. Even the mundane things! It may sound silly, but there is ikigai there!

 

What meaning is there in… Drinking a cup of coffee? Attending a specific conference? Helping a neighbor? In getting angry? In walking your dog? In writing a book? 

 

Moving forward, continue to ask yourself about the meaning of what you are about to do in any moment, and there you will start to discover your own ikigais.

 

Learn more about the powerful practice of healing trauma and finding purpose in Kintsugi: The Japanese Art of Embracing the Imperfect and Loving Your Flaws by Tomás Navarro.

 

Tomás Navarro is a psychologist who loves people and what they feel, think, and do. He is the founder of a consultancy practice and center for emotional well-being. He currently splits his time between technical writing, training, consultancy, conferences and advisory processes, and personal and professional coaching. He lives in Gerona and Barcelona, Spain.

 

 

 

 

Read Kintsugi today!

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The Translucent Life

Tami Simon speaks with Arjuna Ardagh, an awakening coach, teacher, public speaker, and the author of seven books, including the 2005 bestseller The Translucent Revolution. Arjuna studied with the great Indian teacher Papaji, and is the founder of the Living Essence Foundation and Awakening Coach Training organizations. With Sounds True, he has released the book and audio program Leap Before You Look and the audio learning course Let Yourself Go. In this episode, Tami speaks with Arjuna about how we may become a “channel of light” while accepting our shadow side, how our intimate partners can be our greatest teachers, and what it means to live a life that is “spiritually mature.” (72 minutes)

Living from Interconnectedness and Intention

Tami Simon speaks with Lynne McTaggart, an award-winning journalist known for her exhaustive research on the intersection between cutting-edge science and the worlds of spirituality, health, and culture. She is the author of The Field, The Intention Experiment, and The Bond, and her Sounds True audio programs include Living the Field and Living with Intention. In this episode, Tami speaks with Lynne about discoveries from her ongoing work with intention experiments that reveal how our thoughts affect reality. She also discusses new findings that we are biologically wired for cooperation instead of competition, and what we can do to shift our lives and culture towards interconnectedness. (60 minutes)

Release Your Traumas with This Forgiveness Practice

Forgiveness Practice - Inner Alchemy Sounds True Blog

The “horizontal axis” of the soul is where we have stored many lessons and a great deal of energy that remains trapped and stagnant. It is this trapped energy that feeds our internal “demons” and the behaviors that plague us so much. But it doesn’t have to be this way.

With a framework of self-care, qi gong, and mental awareness practice, we can delve into the “darkness” of the shadow and start the alchemical process in full force. Finding the “lead,” which we will turn into “gold,” is easy—we simply need to discover the things that bother us the most in any given day and start with them. It may be a reaction to our spouse’s dilly-dallying or maybe the behavior of a certain coworker. Whatever it is that upsets us, chances are it isn’t anything new to us.

We start to create the spin in the bolstered energy fields of our attachments, and in doing so, our fields take on other similar issues. They fall into families of issues by topic and class.

We start with what Alfred Korzybski called “the original event,” and then we keep branching out and expanding from there, moving further and further into levels of “abstraction.” We get further away from the essential truth of the original event, and we start to create storylines for ourselves to make it okay. The more this goes on, the more energy we pump into this artificial field. The more energy we put in, the more it seems utterly impossible for us to penetrate this mutated, powerful field and face the truth. We create monsters out of undesirable events and we feed them until they own us.

So, here’s the way out. First and foremost, we have to stop the bleeding. This requires awareness of these patterns and forgiveness in the moment. We should be constantly scanning to see what mess we’re about to get involved in and stop it right there. Once we get the hang of it, we invariably find that we’re about to go down a very familiar road with a given subject. This is where the attention of the shen (the energy center housed in the heart) comes in. We have detected a given behavior or karmic action from an old theme, and we have recognized that we are about to go into some old trance behavior. What can we do?

We must first acknowledge this behavior and then, focusing on our heart, we must immediately go into forgiving whomever, whatever, and however anyone was involved. Far from the polarity consciousness of our reactive mind, the heart holds our personal connection with the primordial Tao. It is our true state of being, prior to the separation of yin and yang. Once we tap into this with the energy of forgiveness, we can hold it in our heart and consciously reclaim our power from this event or memory. We do this by understanding the fundamental split that took place in our mind and then pulling back the energy we deposited into the opposite pole.

For instance, say your father was abusive to you as a child and you are still harboring ill will toward him, even though he’s now a broken-down old man. The typical behavior you automatically default to when he calls is to get very short and cool with him. You could be out at the pool with the family having the perfect day, and then he calls. Your breath shortens, your pulse speeds up, and you are suddenly in a very different space. What’s the first thing to do? Recognize what it is that you’re doing right then. You are the one getting revved up, you are the one raising your blood pressure, and you are the one lowering your voice and going from smile to frown over this. So, what then? Stop it. Recognize the unconscious behavior and then stop it in that instant.

Now, yes, I understand that’s easier said than done, but that’s because there is such a massive charge around your relationship with your father. The energy is stored up like a balloon about to burst. But this is where you must change your typical behavior or else you’ll feed even more negative energy into your chapter of “father.” This is where you drop into your heart; forgive him for whatever he has done right there and then, and with the energy neutralized (in the moment), begin to see the pattern for what it is. Every time he comes up in your thought field, a whole slew of emotions race in and get you all fired up. But now, instead of channeling daggers into the aversion of your father, channel forgiveness to the man himself. Forgive him, forgive his behavior, forgive yourself, and forgive the situation. Thank him for the lessons he has given you and for the opportunity to be more loving. Understand that his behavior (whatever it was he did or still does) is a product of an imbalance. He was (is) acting out on his demons, and they, in turn, have infected you. Do not accept them! The only way you can get infected is if you buy into and then co-create that imbalanced energy yourself. A powerful thing to say in this instance is, “This is not my energy, these are not my demons, and I do not accept this into my field.”

Having withdrawn our energy from our typical patterns, we may now focus on the original split that created the charge around this field and apply our knowledge to actively target and mend that schism. Remember, all movement and life began with the split into yin and yang. Therefore, our polarization of the energy related to any given event is what gave it an initial charge and brought it to life. Our recognition of this allows us to withdraw our attention from this polarity and reunite the energy as a whole. We focus on the item in our mind’s eye and simply feel where we’ve been misdirecting all our energy. And remember, it’s our power, so it should be easy to find. Once we reclaim it, we can pull it back into our lower dantien (an energy center right below the navel) and then seal it in there mentally. From that point, we can watch the energy field of the original issue collapse, and then we can continue to forgive it until it is completely gone.

In the example of dealing with your dad, go back to the first time you recall him treating you that way and forgive that moment. Use the mental practice to trace around the timeline and clean and clear with forgiveness. You should be able to heal any particular issue within one to three times of following this practice. The more you pay attention and the more focused you remain, the quicker it’ll be done. If you catch yourself leaking more energy into the shadow when you think about a subject, simply trace your way back to the root of it again. Like the pull of gravity, follow the cord of energy flow back to the original event and confront it there. This is the quickest way to heal these attachments. They don’t want to live in the shadow; all discordant energy wants to return to the Source. Think of it like a homecoming—pull all your fragmented pieces back into yourself.

Excerpted from Inner Alchemy: The Urban Monk’s Guide to Happiness, Health, and Vitality by Pedram Shojai.

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Pedram Shojai - Inner Alchemy Sounds True Blog

Pedram Shojai is a New York Times bestselling author, accomplished physician, Qi Gong master, and former Taoist monk. Perhaps best known as the Urban Monk, Shojai is a dynamic teacher who’s helped thousands of people create more time, energy, and passion with modern hacks for well-being. He is the author of the bestselling book The Urban Monk and is the creator of the Urban Monk Academy, podcast, and Mastermind program. His DVD series, The Alchemy of Qi Gong, received acclaim at the COVR awards. Shojai is currently involved in a number of philanthropic causes that revolve around public health, fair trade, and education. For more, visit theurbanmonk.com.

 

 

Inner Alchemy - Sounds True Blog

 

 

 

 

 

Buy your copy of Inner Alchemy at your favorite bookseller!

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The Trauma Response is Never Wrong

We have been tricked to believe that the trauma response is a sign of weakness and disorder. What science shows us is that the trauma response is in fact a sign of strength and proof of an inherent human drive to survive. We need society to catch up with science, and fast. We are no longer living in an era where we can assume that trauma impacts a minority of the population. Trauma impacts us all. This has always been true, but we can no longer pretend otherwise.

Unbroken is a book about the miracle of the trauma response, the importance of acceptance and self-compassion, and the transformative healing potential that lies within us all. Drawing on my experience as a trauma researcher, coach, as well as my own personal journey of healing, this book offers a new perspective on trauma that emphasizes the wisdom of the body and the resilience of the human spirit.

If you’re struggling with the after-effects of trauma, Unbroken can help you understand your experience in a new light. You’ll learn how trauma impacts the brain, the body, and the spirit, and how you can use this knowledge to start your journey of healing. You’ll discover practical tools and strategies for managing trauma triggers, regulating your emotions, and cultivating self-compassion. Most importantly, you’ll learn that the trauma response is never wrong – it’s a natural and adaptive response to a difficult situation.

One of the most important lessons of Unbroken is that the trauma response is never wrong. This means that even if you’re struggling with symptoms like anxiety, depression, or dissociation, your body is doing exactly what it needs to do to protect you. By embracing this truth, you can start to shift from a place of shame and self-blame to a place of self-compassion and empowerment. The book is chock full of tools that will help you understand and appreciate your trauma response and how to intervene when that response is tripped off unnecessarily. I can’t wait for you to dig in and I can’t wait to hear how this book changes you. It certainly changed me.

MaryCatherine McDonald, PhD, is a research professor and life coach who specializes in the psychology and philosophy of trauma. She has been researching, lecturing, and publishing on the neuroscience, psychology, and lived experience of trauma since the beginning of her PhD in 2009. She’s published two academic books and many research papers, and she is the creator of a trauma-based curriculum designed to serve previously incarcerated folks and veterans

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Mara Glatzel: What Do You Need?

We all have needs. Yet why is it so difficult to honor them? In this podcast, Tami Simon speaks with Mara Glatzel about her book, Needy: How to Advocate for Your Needs and Claim Your Sovereignty, and how we might begin to answer the profound question: What happens when we take radical responsibility for our needs? 

Tune in for an empowering and indeed much-needed conversation about “giving ourselves permission to take up space in the center of our lives,” exploring: building a working vocabulary around needs and feelings, the disempowering stories we carry about what it means to have needs, the daily practice of identifying your needs, the harmful habit of consistently putting your needs aside, asking for the fullness of what you want, developing a strong self-partnership, shifting from people-pleasing to setting boundaries, Mara’s practice of “staying low and open and receptive,” self-care and “staying in the game,” making commitments that matter, knowing your job and their job when it comes to conversations about needs, the fallacy that one person alone can meet another’s vast and myriad needs, accessing your body’s intelligence, working in your inner landscape, sovereignty amid relationship and interdependency, the challenge of receiving everything you’re asking for, and more.

Note: This episode originally aired on Sounds True One, where these special episodes of Insights at the Edge are available to watch live on video and with exclusive access to Q&As with our guests. Learn more at join.soundstrue.com.

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