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Sera Beak: Red Hot and Holy, Part 1

Tami Simon speaks with Sera Beak, a Harvard-trained scholar of comparative world religions and a dynamic new voice in modern spirituality. Sera spent years traveling the world to study with Sufi dervishes, Tibetan monks, Indian yogis, mystics, shamans, and more. She is the author of The Red Book, and her new book with Sounds True is Red Hot and Holy: A Heretic’s Love Story. In the first part of a two-part interview, Tami speaks with Sera about what she sees as the difference between spirit and soul, and what she learned during her own “red night of the soul.” She also speaks about the phenomenon of spiritual bypassing, and why she always sees the divine in shades of red. (60 minutes)

Release Your Traumas with This Forgiveness Practice

Forgiveness Practice - Inner Alchemy Sounds True Blog

The “horizontal axis” of the soul is where we have stored many lessons and a great deal of energy that remains trapped and stagnant. It is this trapped energy that feeds our internal “demons” and the behaviors that plague us so much. But it doesn’t have to be this way.

With a framework of self-care, qi gong, and mental awareness practice, we can delve into the “darkness” of the shadow and start the alchemical process in full force. Finding the “lead,” which we will turn into “gold,” is easy—we simply need to discover the things that bother us the most in any given day and start with them. It may be a reaction to our spouse’s dilly-dallying or maybe the behavior of a certain coworker. Whatever it is that upsets us, chances are it isn’t anything new to us.

We start to create the spin in the bolstered energy fields of our attachments, and in doing so, our fields take on other similar issues. They fall into families of issues by topic and class.

We start with what Alfred Korzybski called “the original event,” and then we keep branching out and expanding from there, moving further and further into levels of “abstraction.” We get further away from the essential truth of the original event, and we start to create storylines for ourselves to make it okay. The more this goes on, the more energy we pump into this artificial field. The more energy we put in, the more it seems utterly impossible for us to penetrate this mutated, powerful field and face the truth. We create monsters out of undesirable events and we feed them until they own us.

So, here’s the way out. First and foremost, we have to stop the bleeding. This requires awareness of these patterns and forgiveness in the moment. We should be constantly scanning to see what mess we’re about to get involved in and stop it right there. Once we get the hang of it, we invariably find that we’re about to go down a very familiar road with a given subject. This is where the attention of the shen (the energy center housed in the heart) comes in. We have detected a given behavior or karmic action from an old theme, and we have recognized that we are about to go into some old trance behavior. What can we do?

We must first acknowledge this behavior and then, focusing on our heart, we must immediately go into forgiving whomever, whatever, and however anyone was involved. Far from the polarity consciousness of our reactive mind, the heart holds our personal connection with the primordial Tao. It is our true state of being, prior to the separation of yin and yang. Once we tap into this with the energy of forgiveness, we can hold it in our heart and consciously reclaim our power from this event or memory. We do this by understanding the fundamental split that took place in our mind and then pulling back the energy we deposited into the opposite pole.

For instance, say your father was abusive to you as a child and you are still harboring ill will toward him, even though he’s now a broken-down old man. The typical behavior you automatically default to when he calls is to get very short and cool with him. You could be out at the pool with the family having the perfect day, and then he calls. Your breath shortens, your pulse speeds up, and you are suddenly in a very different space. What’s the first thing to do? Recognize what it is that you’re doing right then. You are the one getting revved up, you are the one raising your blood pressure, and you are the one lowering your voice and going from smile to frown over this. So, what then? Stop it. Recognize the unconscious behavior and then stop it in that instant.

Now, yes, I understand that’s easier said than done, but that’s because there is such a massive charge around your relationship with your father. The energy is stored up like a balloon about to burst. But this is where you must change your typical behavior or else you’ll feed even more negative energy into your chapter of “father.” This is where you drop into your heart; forgive him for whatever he has done right there and then, and with the energy neutralized (in the moment), begin to see the pattern for what it is. Every time he comes up in your thought field, a whole slew of emotions race in and get you all fired up. But now, instead of channeling daggers into the aversion of your father, channel forgiveness to the man himself. Forgive him, forgive his behavior, forgive yourself, and forgive the situation. Thank him for the lessons he has given you and for the opportunity to be more loving. Understand that his behavior (whatever it was he did or still does) is a product of an imbalance. He was (is) acting out on his demons, and they, in turn, have infected you. Do not accept them! The only way you can get infected is if you buy into and then co-create that imbalanced energy yourself. A powerful thing to say in this instance is, “This is not my energy, these are not my demons, and I do not accept this into my field.”

Having withdrawn our energy from our typical patterns, we may now focus on the original split that created the charge around this field and apply our knowledge to actively target and mend that schism. Remember, all movement and life began with the split into yin and yang. Therefore, our polarization of the energy related to any given event is what gave it an initial charge and brought it to life. Our recognition of this allows us to withdraw our attention from this polarity and reunite the energy as a whole. We focus on the item in our mind’s eye and simply feel where we’ve been misdirecting all our energy. And remember, it’s our power, so it should be easy to find. Once we reclaim it, we can pull it back into our lower dantien (an energy center right below the navel) and then seal it in there mentally. From that point, we can watch the energy field of the original issue collapse, and then we can continue to forgive it until it is completely gone.

In the example of dealing with your dad, go back to the first time you recall him treating you that way and forgive that moment. Use the mental practice to trace around the timeline and clean and clear with forgiveness. You should be able to heal any particular issue within one to three times of following this practice. The more you pay attention and the more focused you remain, the quicker it’ll be done. If you catch yourself leaking more energy into the shadow when you think about a subject, simply trace your way back to the root of it again. Like the pull of gravity, follow the cord of energy flow back to the original event and confront it there. This is the quickest way to heal these attachments. They don’t want to live in the shadow; all discordant energy wants to return to the Source. Think of it like a homecoming—pull all your fragmented pieces back into yourself.

Excerpted from Inner Alchemy: The Urban Monk’s Guide to Happiness, Health, and Vitality by Pedram Shojai.

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Pedram Shojai - Inner Alchemy Sounds True Blog

Pedram Shojai is a New York Times bestselling author, accomplished physician, Qi Gong master, and former Taoist monk. Perhaps best known as the Urban Monk, Shojai is a dynamic teacher who’s helped thousands of people create more time, energy, and passion with modern hacks for well-being. He is the author of the bestselling book The Urban Monk and is the creator of the Urban Monk Academy, podcast, and Mastermind program. His DVD series, The Alchemy of Qi Gong, received acclaim at the COVR awards. Shojai is currently involved in a number of philanthropic causes that revolve around public health, fair trade, and education. For more, visit theurbanmonk.com.

 

 

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The Compassionate Brain … free online video seri...

Dear friends, we want to make sure you are aware of a truly wonderful free, online video series that we’ve put together here at Sounds True, in cooperation with our dear friend Dr. Rick Hanson, who serves as the host for the series. In each episode, Dr. Hanson is joined by a world-class scholar/teacher, including Richie Davidson, Dan Siegel, Tara Brach, Dacher Keltner, Kelly McGonigal, Kristin Neff, and Jean Houston, where they discuss different ways to use the power of neuroplasticity—how the mind can change the brain to transform the mind—to open the heart, build courage, find compassion, forgive oneself and others, and heal the world.

Watch or download the entire series here.

Here, Dr. Rick Hanson introduces the series and what you can expect. Over 30,000 people from around the world have registered for this groundbreaking series; we look forward to sharing these profound discoveries with you.

 

 

Honey Tasting Meditation: Build Your Relationship with...

There is a saying that goes “hurt people hurt people.” I believe this to be true. We have been conditioned, in environments of scarcity and violence, to react more with fear and self-protection than curiosity and connection. As a result, we live in a world that is deeply in need of more kindness, more ease, more connection, more sweetness. It’s time we offer more sweetness and ease to ourselves, to one another, to our planet.

Now, this does not mean being a Pollyanna or “sickly sweet.” It does not mean being addicted to sugar and finding other ways to hurt ourselves. It means moving through the world and offering sweetness to ourselves and others. It means setting good boundaries and protecting our community and the hive from those who would “rob” us of our sweetness, of the sustenance (love, connection, inclusion, belonging) that helps us endure.

But first, we have to allow ourselves to taste and feel the sweetness on our own. We have to practice being deeply grateful for what is sweet in our life, holding it with reverence, and freely sharing it with others.

We invite you to build your own relationship with, and deep worthiness of, sweetness. We invite you to find and taste the sweetness in your life. Times of abundance and sweetness are special, and we must remember to taste them fully and live into them. We must also remember to share them.

What sweetness do you have in your life? What sweetness can you share with others? What sweetness do you crave from others? How can you cultivate more sweetness in your life? What does that look, sound, and feel like? Where do you deny yourself sweetness? How can you give yourself permission to taste and share all of the sweetness that comes to you? How can you bring sweetness into the lives of others?

Honey Tasting Meditation

For this practice, you’ll need some (ideally) local honey. If possible, find out what you can about where it came from and what was in bloom at the time it was made. This will help deepen your relationship to the place you live. If you cannot find local honey, that is okay; you can still complete the meditation as instructed.

Find a quiet spot in a quiet moment and sit with your jar of honey. Before opening it, sit in a few moments of conscious breathing to quiet your mind.

Start with your sense of sight and smell. Hold the jar of honey up in front of you and observe its color and viscosity. Take note of how it looks in the light, in the dark.

Next, open the jar of honey and bring it to your nose. Inhale deeply. Notice the sensations, images, or thoughts that come to you as you breathe in the aromatherapy of the honey.

Now, reverently taste the honey. Take a small amount on a spoon and meditatively savor the flavors, sensations, feelings, and images that come to you. Chew the honey. Hold it on your tongue. Allow yourself to indulge in its many flavors. Do this again with another spoonful (or as many as you want) but take your time.

When you’re done, write down any messages or insights you received from the experience and the nurturing and healing power of the honey. Take this moment of sweetness with you into your day.

Excerpted from The Wisdom of the Hive: What Honeybees Can Teach Us about Collective Wellbeing.

Michelle Cassandra Johnson is an author, activist, spiritual teacher, racial equity consultant, and intuitive healer. She is the author of six books, including Skill in Action and Finding Refuge. Amy Burtaine is a leadership coach and racial equity trainer. With Robin DiAngelo, she is the coauthor of The Facilitator’s Guide for White Affinity Groups. For more, visit https://www.michellecjohnson.com/wisdom-of-the-hive.

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Erotic Authenticity: Replacing Shame with Celebration

Sometime last year, I was having a conversation with a close relative of mine. I had sent them a recent news story I was quoted in and had been met with… silence. Eventually, I nudged a little bit and they responded, saying “I’m sorry, I just can’t be proud of someone who talks about sex and sex toys for a living. It’s embarrassing.” As we unpacked this statement, it became clear that they were unable to see the good—any good—in my work. As a therapist, as a writer, as an educator… my work was shameful in their eyes.  In that moment, I understood my clients in a way I never had before.

With Sprinkles on Top was already finished by the time this occurred, but if it hadn’t? This conversation would have inspired me to write it. It can be incredibly painful to have someone you love tell you that “What you do is wrong. Who you are is not OK.” Many kinky people are afraid that if they share their innermost selves with the ones they love most, they too will be rejected, written off as broken or creepy or wrong. I wrote Sprinkles because I believe deeply that every single human being deserves to feel loved and worthy and whole, to know that their innermost desires are not just valid but beautiful, and to find others who can celebrate this beauty and their relationships together with them.

Sprinkles is also written for the partners of these kinky people, many of whom tell me that, if their spouse had just been willing to share their desires, they would have happily explored with them. For the spouses who don’t understand the fantasies or intimate practices they’re learning about and who need a guide to help them navigate these new relationship waters. For the men and women who call my office afraid—afraid that there’s something wrong with their partner or something inadequate in themselves.

They want me to “fix” them. I want to celebrate them.

With Sprinkles on Top is not a “how to” book. It’s a “what now?” book. My goal is to celebrate the things that make each person and each relationship unique and delightful—and to help them discover new unique qualities in themselves and new ways to delight one another. I want to celebrate vanilla relationship values while also normalizing and affirming kinky identities. I want to help my readers find new and exciting ways to enhance their own core sexual and relational “flavor” through interactive activities they do by themselves and with their partner.

Differences in desire represent an exciting opportunity to strengthen and reinforce the bonds of intimacy and trust we have created within our relationships, while also expanding the erotic playground we enjoy together. We don’t have to change who we are. We don’t have to be ashamed of what we want or embarrassed to talk about it. Sexuality, desire, and intimacy are, to me, sacred gifts. I’m honored to be able to help my readers, my clients, and others to build happier, healthier relationships with their bodies, their partners, and themselves. I hope you enjoy the process of finding your sprinkles and using them to communicate, explore, and connect with the one(s) you love.

Kol Tuv,

Stefani Goerlich

Stefani Goerlich, PhD, LMSW-Clinical, LISW, LCSW, CST, is a certified sex therapist and master social worker who specializes in working with gender, sexuality, and relationships. She is a sought-after clinical supervisor, media consultant, and conference presenter who has appeared in media ranging from CNN and the Washington Post to Cosmopolitan and Teen Vogue. She is the award-winning author of the professional books The Leather Couch and Kink-Affirming Practice.

Author photo © Kim Williams

With Sprinkles on Top

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Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg: Mending the World with a Proph...

Every spiritual tradition teaches that we are all interconnected. Yet when we are faced with the world’s many injustices, we often want to turn away and isolate ourselves rather than feel the full measure of our grief, anger, and fear. In this podcast, Tami Simon speaks with Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg about how we can choose another path—one of openly encountering others with deep connection, accessing our prophetic voice to speak truth to power, and taking action while staying grounded in our spiritual selves. 

Give a listen to this moving conversation exploring connecting to “the still, small voice” within yourself; Rabbi Nachman’s practice of the inner scream; allowing our bodies and hearts to process what we see in the world; our obligations as bystanders of harm; leaving your “spiritual bubble” to engage in real activism; speaking uncomfortable truths; the five steps involved in the work of repentance and repair; why the best spiritual practice is done in community; the practice of rest as a social justice issue; prayer, the work of the heart; and much more.

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