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Patrick O’Malley: Getting Grief Right

Patrick O’Malley is a grief counselor with more than 35 years of experience. He has written many well-regarded articles on grieving, including the namesake New York Times article that inspired his new Sounds True book Getting Grief Right: Finding Your Story of Love in the Sorrow of Loss. In this episode of Insights at the Edge, Tami Simon and Patrick discuss his unique approach to grief and how it diverts from the popularly accepted five-stage model created by Elizabeth Kübler-Ross. Patrick asserts that the Kübler-Ross model, while helpful as a foundation, can actually create an emotional cage for people as they struggle to find the acceptance and closure that they expect to end their grieving. Tami and Patrick also talk about the odd way in which the concept “closure” became entwined with grief therapy and why sharing our stories of loss can be the most important step in the process. Finally, Patrick shares his own story of loss and explains that the simple act of being compassionately heard can be the most important step toward healing. (60 minutes)

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Self-Love is a Superpower

Dear Sounds True friends,

I believe self-love is a superpower.

When we treat ourselves with kindness, it turns on the learning centers of the brain and gives us the resources to face challenges and learn from our mistakes. Transformation requires a compassionate mindset, not shame.

And yet, people often worry that self-love will make them lazy, self-indulgent, or self-absorbed. Science shows just the opposite: people with greater self-love are more compassionate toward others, more successful and productive, and more resilient to stress.

The best news of all: self-love can be learned. We can rewire the structure of our brain and strengthen the neural circuitry of love toward ourselves and others. Each time we practice self-love, we grow this pathway.

My new children’s book, Good Morning, I Love You, Violet!, offers a road map for strengthening your child’s brain circuitry of deep calm, contentment, and self-love.

It is built on principles of psychology and neuroscience and offers a simple yet powerful practice.

As a mother, when asked what I believe is the most important thing we can teach our children, I always answer “self-love.” Learning to be on our own team and to treat ourselves with kindness is life-changing. There is no greater gift we can give our children. There is no greater gift we can give ourselves.

May this book plant seeds of kindness that ripple out into the world.

Shauna's signature

Shauna Shapiro, PhD

P.S. I invite you to download a free coloring sheet from the book, created by illustrator Susi Schaefer, to enjoy with the children in your life.

Shauna Shapiro is a mother, bestselling author, professor, clinical psychologist, and internationally recognized expert in mindfulness and self-compassion. She lives in Mill Valley, California. Learn more at drshaunashapiro.com.

Nataly Kogan: Living in a Friendly and Joy-Filled Univ...

What brings you your greatest joy? How do you access your inner “awesome”? Nataly Kogan has made it her life’s work to help people overcome burnout and break free from endless busyness. In this podcast, Tami Simon speaks with Nataly about her new book, The Awesome Human Journal, and the practical steps we can begin to take right now to shift out of self-defeating thought patterns (and their corresponding emotions), reclaim our energy, and share our gifts with the world. 

Tune in as Tami and Nataly discuss insights from neuroscience that everyone should know; the human brain’s negativity bias; creating a better relationship with your thoughts—a key to well-being and emotional fitness; the worst-case scenario exercise; finding certainty in uncertain times; working within your sphere of impact; cultivating agency; freedom from skepticism and mistrust; living an aligned life in a universe that is friendly; energetic self-care; breaking the habit of denying ourselves joy; changing our habitual frame of reference to something positive and supportive; and more.

Note: This episode originally aired on Sounds True One, where these special episodes of Insights at the Edge are available to watch live on video and with exclusive access to Q&As with our guests. Learn more at join.soundstrue.com.

Katie Horwitch: Reimagining Being Positive and Fearles...

Shifting out of negative self-talk isn’t easy. Sugar-coating, “sending love and light,” faking-it-till-we-make-it, and other forms of false positivity can do more harm than good. In her book, Want Your Self: Shift Your Self-Talk and Unearth the Strength in Who You Were All Along, activist and mindset coach Katie Horwitch brings readers a practical guide for becoming fluent in an inner language for loving who you are while growing into the person you were meant to become. 

In this podcast, Tami Simon speaks with Horwitch about her empowering approach to living with greater self-acceptance, integrity, and authenticity, discussing confidence versus vanity; fitting in versus belonging; the risks of positive thinking; getting to the core of the Self; proactive positivity; how shifting self-talk leads to cultural, systemic transformation; focusing on priorities, cultivating trust and other tools to stop negative feedback loops; the practice of using anchor words; the fear versus faith exercise; being your true self “out loud”; integrity as the alignment of your intention and your impact; stepping up to the plate of our life; and more.

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