You are not your thoughts, emotions, or experiences—you are the conscious awareness behind them. Identifying with these inner phenomena creates a disturbed inner world that you mistakenly try to fix with the outside world. Spiritual growth involves changing your relationship with your mind and emotions by releasing their past stored blockages and rediscovering the stillness, clarity, and joy of your true nature.
The true meaning of Mother’s Day is to celebrate the idea of unconditional love—a love that does not judge or withhold. Most humans misunderstand this because the mind judges everything, creating inner resistance and leading to closure of the heart. Spiritual growth is the process of learning how to stop judging by understanding the root of judgment: past experiences stored in the personal mind that we couldn’t handle. By consistently relaxing through these blockages, instead of resisting their release, they will dissolve naturally, allowing the spiritual energy to rise. This culminates in the realization that God is love, and our own consciousness is that same ocean of love.
Shakti is the universal life energy that flows through the body, mind, and heart, and its flow is the basis of all emotional and physical experiences. Blockages created from suppressed past experiences distort this flow, leading to mental, emotional, and physical suffering. Instead of releasing these blockages, most people try to manipulate the external world to avoid triggering them. True spiritual growth is the art of letting go of these blockages and allowing Shakti to flow freely. Ultimately, this leads to a life filled with love, joy, and Self-Realization.
Have you ever been ice-skating before? It sounds like a fun winter activity (especially if you enjoy the cold, like I do), but it can be frustrating and even downright scary if you’re new to it.
Picture this: I took my nephew ice-skating for the first time, full of excitement to see him experience some joy. At twelve years of age, he was already taller than me and had size thirteen feet thanks to his six-foot-eight-inch-tall dad (my brother). The biggest rental skates they had came with worn-out laces rather than the secure plastic bindings all of the other skates had. I could see that they were a little loose around the ankle, but we tied them as best we could and hit the ice.
If you’ve ever seen a newborn deer figuring out how to walk for the first time, you can picture my nephew’s first time on ice skates. His ankles kept knocking in, and he was reaching to hold onto anything for dear life as he wobbled around the perimeter of the rink. It was difficult to watch, not because it was embarrassing, but because I know how hard he is on himself when he’s not immediately good at new things. I wanted to see him having fun, and instead I saw him frustrated and discouraged as all he could do was attempt to remain vertical.
I figured it couldn’t get worse, so I suggested that we trade in his skates for a smaller pair with the more secure plastic buckles to see if that made any difference. He went along with it, probably just to humor me, and we stuffed his feet into some size twelves and made sure his ankle support was good as could be. When I tell you it was a night and day difference, I’m not exaggerating. Suddenly he was speeding around the ice like a pro, lapping past me and his sisters with the biggest smile on his face. He circled the rink over and over again; as his confidence grew, so did his joy, and he even began to try tricks and spins. All he had needed was one little adjustment to his foundation, and he suddenly felt safe enough to have fun.
Here’s the thing: most of us go around in our lives on rickety old skates with worn-out laces. When your only focus is doing your best to remain upright, there’s not much room for joy or play. The big shame in that is that play often is the medicine we most need.
In my experience, the crux of inner child work is reconnecting to the part of you who knows how to play. Sometimes you may first need to make some adjustments that allow you to feel safe enough to play, like practicing nervous system regulation and self-soothing. Once you’ve done that, though, your goal is to invite in as much play as possible. And not adult versions of play that are really just a facade for dissociative behaviors, but real, childlike wonder.
Invite in curiosity and awe and silliness and uninhibited joy. Start by returning to the things you loved to do when you were a kid. Maybe that means setting aside time each weekend for arts and crafts. Maybe it means participating in physical activities that feel like play, such as dancing, swimming, sports, or jumping on a trampoline. Maybe it just means giving yourself permission to skip while you walk or sing while you drive.
The point is, when you bring those younger versions of you into your present-day life, you not only have more fun, but you also experience more healing. We were never meant to lose touch with our inner child. Yes, it’s important to learn how to be self-sufficient and responsible, and aging is inevitable. But it’s equally important not to take yourself too seriously along the way.
Try This
Your homework is to set regular playdates with your inner child. Do things that sound like fun, even if they don’t make logical sense. Allow yourself to be as carefree and openhearted as possible, without judging the things that bring you joy. The sillier it feels, the more on point you likely are. Here are some examples to consider:
Take an afternoon off of work and go to an amusement park.
Schedule an evening of watching your favorite childhood movies.
Spend the weekend out in nature, frolicking with your imagination.
Try something brand new, like rock climbing or ice-skating, to tap into that feeling of beginner’s mind.
Play is an important part of our overall well-being. Consistently making time to get into that creative flow state will help you deepen your relationship with your inner child . . . and your adult self. I suggest checking in at least once per month, if not weekly, to see where you can fit more play into your life.
Excerpted from Choose Your Self: How to Embrace Being Single, Heal Core Wounds, and Build a Life You Love.
Megan Sherer
Megan Sherer is a certified somatic therapist and licensed hypnotherapist whose mission is to help others build healthy and fulfilling relationships, starting with self. She hosts the Well, Then podcast and founded the women’s therapy app The Self Care Space. For more, visit megansherer.com.
“I want to love my life, but I can’t until…” It’s a mantra recited by millions of us on a daily basis. But is it true? Are we doomed to struggle, stress, and continually defer our fulfillment? In this podcast, join Tami Simon in conversation with celebrated wisdom teacher and bestselling author Michael Neill to discover how we can stop impeding the flow of our inherent joy, creativity, and sense of stability—and start loving life, for real.
Tami and Michael discuss: the high-functioning depressive and the dysfunctional depressive; the nature of insecurity; why the mind is more a projector than a camera; when “the mirage is real”; questioning your thoughts vs. thinking about them; the art and practice of dropping thought; taking things seriously without the “heaviness”; the intelligent aliveness of the natural world; universal consciousness vs. personal awareness; shifting from suffering to safety; how to love uncertainty; choosing happiness over misery; being yourself; feelings, fears, and the path to a quieter mind; looking to see “the formless in the form”; and more.
Note: This episode originally aired on Sounds True One, where these special episodes of Insights at the Edge are available to watch live on video and with exclusive access to Q&As with our guests. Learn more at join.soundstrue.com.
What is the soul? How do we stay in relationship with the eternal aspect of ourselves? Is it possible to honestly trust that “everything is in order” when all we see is chaos and confusion?
In this podcast, Tami Simon speaks with acclaimed author and evidence-based medium Suzanne Giesemann about her journey from being a commander in the U.S. Navy to one of today’s most sought-after guides on the path of spiritual awakening. In this eye-opening conversation, you’ll learn about: the two keys to communicating with the departed: belief and intention; the three Es: educate, experience, and engage; the Sip of the Divine practice; the observer perspective and the importance of one’s point of view; patterns of consciousness interacting across time and space; a meeting with Albert Einstein; past lives; preparing for “a good and free and blessed death”; Wolf’s story; passing through an “elevation”; shifting out of left-brain dominance; curiosity and playfulness; the emotional heart and the spiritual heart; vagus nerve breathing; why there is “purpose in every passing”; Earth as a school for the evolution of our souls; transcending the sense of incompleteness inherent in “the story of you”; and more.
Note: This episode originally aired on Sounds True One, where these special episodes of Insights at the Edge are available to watch live on video and with exclusive access to Q&As with our guests. Learn more at join.soundstrue.com.
