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E42: Why We Suffer: A Spiritual Perspective on Problem...

Why do people experience so many problems in life? If you look objectively, you will see that problems arise because we have deeply ingrained preferences about how life should unfold. These manifest as desires and fears that are rooted in our unresolved experiences from the past. True freedom and joy can only be achieved by letting go of this stored negativity and embracing life as it unfolds. Ultimately, fulfillment comes not from controlling external circumstances but from inner alignment and openness to life’s flow. 

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Kamilah Majied: Joyfully Just

The painful injustices we see across society may seem insurmountable. Yet as therapist and author Dr. Kamilah Majied teaches, “Undoing some of the injustice that we do to ourselves and others is actually one of the most joyful things we can do.” Instilling joy into our social change work is the theme of Dr. Majied’s new book, Joyfully Just, and the subject of this inspiring conversation hosted by Tami Simon. 

Give a listen to this energizing and infectious discussion of: the power of literacy; exploring the roots of suffering; uncovering and healing our unconscious biases; the destructive limitations of our “isms”; releasing the song that wants to burst forth; using our creativity to transmute suffering into joy; making a genuine resolution to be joyful; an enlightened experience of grief; a daily mantra—“let me manifest my highest self, my greater self, my most wise, courageous self”; gratitude and growth; the freedom to create value out of suffering; living with courage; honest conversations; the concept of Black joy; resilience; the contagious nature of “undefeated joy”; respect as the act of looking again; connecting with our heritage and appreciating our interdependence; language as a meditative practice; the shift from cultural appropriation to reparative relationality; resisting despair and “suffering with determination”; self-worth; overcoming the bias of ableism; the practice of “a new moment resolution”; and more.

Note: This episode originally aired on Sounds True One, where these special episodes of Insights at the Edge are available to watch live on video and with exclusive access to Q&As with our guests. Learn more at join.soundstrue.com.

Empathy, resonance, and the mysterious dance of lover ...

On my flight from Denver to Oahu yesterday, I sat next to a lovely couple who must have been in their early to mid 70s. I was struck by how attuned they were to one another – the slightest cue from one was met by the other and responded to. I could literally feel in my body that they each felt fully contacted by the other, while from time to time they would go silent, return to their own individual activities, infusing the environment between them with a warm, tender space. They remained connected, but separate simultaneously – and would meet each other’s glance from time to time as if to assure the other that all was well in the world. No words needed. It was as if I could feel their mirror neurons coming online together, empathically in resonance with one another, tuned into just what was needed in a given moment.

For some reason their dance, their play, their love… it really touched me, so much so that I actually found myself crying. I didn’t want to make a scene or make them uncomfortable so kept to myself as much as I could (I know, those that know me, it’s not like me to ‘not make a scene’ or refrain from ‘making others uncomfortable,’ especially when it comes to tears, love, vulnerability, and falling apart. I really was trying to behave; it was only 45 minutes into a long flight after all).

It was then that they pulled out their video player and were going to watch a movie together. I was curious how they would be able to remain connected and do this as there was only one headphone jack on their iPad. Would they alternate? Knowing them (as I had for about 20 minutes now), I was sure one would just sacrifice the sound for the other, and they’d switch periodically. Before I realized exactly what was going on, the gentleman pulled out a Y-shaped thingy which allowed them to both plug their headphones in at once. I lost it. It was so perfect – and so them. Just more attunement and connection, this time taking shape as some weird looking modern electronic device. The tears flowed even more in reveling at their sweet connection.

They finally glanced over at me, my intention to not create a scene lost to the crushing power of love that flows between two people. They both just smiled at me and the man patted me on the shoulder, his eyes near bursting into tears himself. We all just shared a moment together, outside all time and space, with me so grateful that they allowed me into their sacred world for just a moment, and into the mystery of lover and beloved as it unfolds here, into eternity.

Postscript: I just shared this post with them (couldn’t help myself). Now the three of us are just sort of silently weeping together, holding hands… as we descend into Waikiki… three new friends, held by the beloved and her mysterious ways, and the sweetness of a Hawaiian sunset. I feel quite confident I could die now. To know even one sliver of this love… I’ve been given so much more than enough.

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Happy 78th birthday to His Holiness the Dalai Lama!

Wishing His Holiness the Dalai Lama a joyful 78th birthday today, and praying for his long life! I’ll never forget the one and only time I met the Dalai Lama, at his residence in Dharamsala many years ago. I was quite young, coming off a difficult break-up, and broken wide open alone in the mountains of northern India, just sort of wandering from place to place. He held my hand and just looked at me. He wasn’t scrambling to try to make my heartbreak go away, he wasn’t playing the wise guru offering me some subtle teaching on the empty-luminous ground of awareness, he wasn’t hurling blessings at me so that all would be made right and I could enter into some other state of consciousness. He simply spent a moment with me, all the way through, totally human, fully there with everything in the space between us. It was a short moment of time, but in another way it was totally eternal; those sorts of rare meetings, heart to heart, are rare and precious, and not easily forgotten. In my experience, the Dalai Lama is a holding environment of love, in and of himself; a totally real, humble, open-hearted, incredibly warm, authentic human being. May you live long, your Holiness!

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Tiffany Shlain: Taking an Empowered and Creative View ...

Tiffany Shlain is an Emmy-nominated documentary filmmaker, internet pioneer, and the author of Brain Power: From Neurons to Networks. Her most recent film, 50/50: Rethinking the Past, Present, and Future of Women + Power, debuted at the TEDWomen conference and is the inspiration for 50/50 Day, a global event devoted to bringing about greater gender balance in all sectors of life. In this episode of Insights at the Edge, Tami Simon speaks with Tiffany about 50/50 Day—its origins, how it will be rolled out, and what steps we can take to ensure women have a better say in society. They talk about Tiffany’s approach to encouraging social change through film, including the background behind her short documentary The Science of Character. Using that film as a foundation, Tiffany comments on the difference between virtue and character, as well as why we should focus on cultivating our strengths rather than obsessing over our weaknesses. Finally, Tiffany and Tami discuss our current relationships with technology and why she recommends a “technology Shabbat” in which we spend 24 hours away from our screens. (54 minutes)

Find Your Beastie of the Year for 2018

Find your Beastie of the Year for 2018 with these printable Beastie Cards for More Love, from Sarah Bamford Seidelman, the author of the forthcoming Book of Beasties.  Click here to download!
  1. Print out the PDF (double-sided) and cut them each into their own little cards. We encourage you to share with family and friends! Bring them to your New Year’s eve party or to your next luncheon with friends.
  2. Before you select your beastie, take a few deep breaths, center yourself and do anything else that feels good to create a good atmosphere for this process (light a candle, do a few jumping jacks, stretch, sing a few bars of Dolly Parton).
  3. Shuffle your “cards” slowly while day dreaming for a bit about your heart’s desire.
  4. Set your intention: “I am going to select a beastie that inspires and guides me”.
  5. Choose your card.
  6. Look at the results.
  • For even more aligning affirmations you can look up your beastie in the What the Walrus Knows app (available at iTunes) which has 10 aligning affirmations for each beastie.
  • If you got a beastie you are not tooooo sure about- remember that with divination, we may not always get what we WANT but we always get what we NEED. I got cockroach one year for my beastie of the year and it was magnificent in every way (though I initially resisted!).
More helpful hints: 
  • Skeptical? That is perfectly OK. To explore, just set aside your skepticism for a moment and see if your results “help” you in any way. If the answer is yes, then continue to explore and work with the beasties if it feels good. The only proof in divination is if it helps you on your path. If it serves you, then why not use it?
  •  Ah-ha! If you received information, had an “ah-ha” moment or a new revelation from this process and it helped then, hooray! Celebrate! Bless and thank the beasties.
  •  Take what you like and leave the rest. If one line resonates with you then forget about the lines that don’t. If the information contained in them is important then it will come back to you again in another way.
Sarah Bamford Seidelman was a physician living a nature-starved, hectic lifestyle until a walrus entered her life and changed everything. She has trained at the Martha Beck Institute and Michael Harner’s Foundation for Shamanic Studies, and is author of Swimming with Elephants (Conari Press, 2017). She lives in northern Minnesota. For more, visit followyourfeelgood.com.
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