Category: Mindfulness

Kelley Kosow: The Integrity Advantage

Kelley Kosow is a Certified Master Integrative Life Coach and the entrepreneur behind the popular Go Goddess!™ brand of books, games, and seminars. Today, she is the CEO of The Ford Institute. With Sounds True, she is publishing her first book, The Integrity Advantage: Step into Your Truth, Love Your Life, and Claim Your Magnificence. In this episode of Insights at the Edge, Kelley speaks with Tami Simon about the definition of integrity: what it is, why it isn’t necessarily evenly spread across every aspect of one’s life, and how it arises from our greatest personal truth and vision. They also talk about Kelley’s journey from being focused on future outcomes to one of self-acceptance—a journey facilitated by her mentor, Debbie Ford, that required her to confront and integrate even those parts of herself she considered “negative.” Finally, Tami and Kelley discuss the legacy of Debbie Ford, her death, and why Kelley decided to take up her mentor’s mantle as an Integrative Life Coach. (59 minutes)

6 Tips for Empaths to Survive the Holidays

 

Being in crowds and around energy vampires can be very challenging, almost overwhelming for empaths. During times of stress their ability to be emotional sponges heightens, which overrides their sublime capacity to absorb positive emotions and all that is beautiful. If empaths are around peace and love, their bodies assimilate these and flourish. Crowds or negativity, though, often feel assaultive, exhausting.

For empaths to fully enjoy the holiday gatherings with family and friends, they must learn to protect their sensitivity and find balance. Since I’m an empath, I want to help them cultivate this capacity and be comfortable with it.

I’ve always been hyper-attuned to other people’s moods, good and bad. Before I learned to protect my energy, I felt them lodge in my body. After being in crowds I would leave feeling anxious, depressed, or tired. When I got home, I’d just crawl into bed, yearning for peace and quiet.

Here are six strategies to help you manage empathy more effectively and stay centered without absorbing negative energies.

1. Move away. When possible, distance yourself by at least twenty feet from the suspected source. See if you feel relief. Don’t err on the side of not wanting to offend anyone. At the gathering try not to sit next to the identified energy vampire. Physical closeness increases empathy.

2. Surrender to your breath. If you suspect you are picking up someone else’s energies, concentrate on your breath for a few minutes. This is centering and connects you to your power. In contrast, holding your breath keeps negativity lodged in your body. To purify fear and pain, exhale stress and inhale calm. Picture unwholesome emotions as a gray fog lifting from your body, and wellness as a clear light entering it. This can produce quick results.

3. Practice Guerilla Meditation. Be sure to meditate before the gathering, centering yourself, connecting to spirit, feeling your heart. Get strong. If you counter emotional or physical distress while at an event, act fast and meditate for a few minutes. You can do this by taking refuge in the bathroom or an empty room. If it’s public, close the stall. Meditate there. Calm yourself. Focus on positivity and love. This has saved me many times at social functions where I feel depleted by others.

4. Set healthy limits and boundaries. Control how much time you spend listening to stressful people, and learn to say “no.” Set clear limits and boundaries with people, nicely cutting them off at the pass if they get critical or mean. Remember, “no” is a complete sentence.

5. Visualize protection around you. Research has shown that visualization is a healing mind/body technique. A practical form of protection many people use, including health care practitioners with difficult patients, involves visualizing an envelope of white light around your entire body. Or with extremely toxic people, visualize a fierce black jaguar patrolling and protecting your energy field to keep out intruders.

6. Define and honor your empathic needs. Safeguard your sensitivities. In a calm, collected moment, make a list of your top five most emotionally rattling situations. Then formulate a plan for handling them so you don’t fumble in the moment. Here are some practical examples of what to do in situations that predictably stymie empaths. If your comfort level is three hours max for socializing–even if you adore the people — take your own car or have an alternate transportation plan so you’re not stranded. If someone asks too much of you, politely tell them “no.” It’s not necessary to explain why. As the saying goes, “No is a complete sentence.”

 

Looking for more great reads?

 

Adapted from The Empath’s Survival Guide by Dr. Judith Orloff.

Judith Orloff, MD, is the author of The Empath’s Survival Guide (Sounds True, 2017). She is a leading voice in the fields of medicine, psychiatry, and intuitive development.

October New Releases and Giveaway

BOOKS TO SOOTHE YOUR SOUL

 

 

Raising Resilience by Christopher Willard, PSYD

In every spiritual tradition, we find teachings on the virtues and qualities that we most want to pass on to our kids—such as generosity, kindness, honesty, determination, and patience. Today, a growing body of research from neuroscience and social psychology supports these teachings, offering insights into cultivating these virtues in ourselves and in our families. Raising Resilience is a practical guide for parents and educators of children from preschool through adolescence, detailing ten universal principles for happy families and thriving children.

 

 

 

It’s Ok That You’re Not OK by Megan Devine

In It’s OK That You’re Not OK, Megan Devine offers a profound new approach to both the experience of grief and the way we try to help others who have endured tragedy. Having experienced grief from both sides—as both a therapist and as a woman who witnessed the accidental drowning of her beloved partner—Megan writes with deep insight about the unspoken truths of loss, love, and healing. She debunks the culturally prescribed goal of returning to a normal, “happy” life, replacing it with a far healthier middle path, one that invites us to build a life alongside grief rather than seeking to overcome it.

 

 

 

The Complete Peaceful Warrior’s Way by Dan Millman

For millions of readers, Dan Millman’s Way of the Peaceful Warrior has ignited life-changing shifts. And in the decades since he wrote this iconic book, his work continues to evolve. In this in-depth audio learning program, Dan shares the full scope of his insights and tools for those seeking practical wisdom leading to a peaceful heart and warrior’s spirit.

How to Consciously Live the Peaceful Warrior’s Way—a Spiritual Path in the Modern World.

 

 

 

 

Looking for some eye and ear inspiration?

 

WIN OUR NEW RELEASE BUNDLE: The Complete Peaceful Warrior’s Way, It’s Ok That You’re Not OKRaising Resilience

TO ENTER: Simply reply in the comments with why you’d like to win! We’ll select two winners by 10/31.

Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche: Rebel Buddha Says, “Go Kin...

Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche is a celebrated Buddhist teacher, artist, poet, and author whose many books include Rebel Buddha, Wild Awakening, and Emotional Rescue. He is the founder of Nalandabodhi, an international association of Buddhist teaching and cultural centers. In this episode of Insights at the Edge, Tami Simon speaks with Rinpoche about his ongoing efforts to develop a genuine dharma tradition unique to the West, as well as the ways he adapts his teachings for Western sensibilities and problems. Speaking from his decades of experience, Rinpoche shares anecdotes of his own teachers and comments on the modern conception of the teacher/student relationship. Finally, Tami and Rinpoche talk about the current turbulence in the world and what it might mean for spiritual seekers of all stripes. (55 minutes)

Self-Compassion & Self-Reflection: Recommended Re...

Exploring the Science of Self-Compassion

 

The Art of Empathy by Karla McLaren

What if there were a single skill that could directly and radically improve your relationships and your emotional life? Empathy, teaches Karla McLaren, is that skill. With The Art of Empathy, she teaches us how to perceive and feel the experiences of others with clarity and authenticity—to connect with them more deeply and effectively.

Informed by current insights from neuroscience, social psychology, and healing traditions, this book explores some of the following:

  • Why empathy is not a mystical phenomenon but a natural, innate ability that we can strengthen and develop
  • How to identify and regulate our emotions and boundaries

 

 

 

The Science of Compassion by Kelly McGonigal

Stories, dynamic meditations, and innovative writing exercises to spark creativity and spiritual awakening.

The best writers say their work comes from a source beyond the thinking mind. But how do we access that source? “We must first look inside ourselves and be willing to touch that raw emotional core at the heart of a deeper creativity,” Writes Albert Flynn DeSilver. In Writing as a Path to Awakening, this renowned poet, writer, and teacher shows you how to use meditation to cultivate true depth in your writing—so your words reveal layers of profound emotional insight and revelation that inspire and move your readers.

 

 

The Language of Emotions by Karla McLaren

Emotions—especially the dark and dishonored ones—hold a tremendous amount of energy. We’ve all seen what happens when we repress or blindly express them. With The Language of Emotions, empathic counselor Karla McLaren shows you how to meet your emotions and receive their life-saving wisdom to safely move toward resolution and equilibrium. Through experiential exercises covering a full spectrum of feelings from anger, fear, and shame to jealousy, grief, joy, and more, you will discover how to work with your own and others’ emotions with fluency and expertise.

Here is a much-needed resource filled with revolutionary teachings and breakthrough skills for cultivating a new and empowering relationship with your feeling states through The Language of Emotions.

 

 

 

Awakening Compassion by Pema Chödrön

On Awakening Compassion, Pema Chödrön, one of the Western world’s best-known lojong teachers and practitioners, shows you how to use your own painful emotions as stepping stones to wisdom, compassion, and fearlessness. You will learn how to make friends with the painful parts of your life experience and how to use your natural courage and honesty to transform even the most difficult situations.

With an informal teaching style, both playful and insightful, Pema Chödrön makes this timeless way of bringing compassion into the world easy to understand and apply to your own life. More than seven hours of practical, compassionate guidance for shedding your cocoon and meeting your world with fresh appreciation. Includes a nine-page study guide with lojong slogans and additional resources.

 

 

The Force of Kindness by Sharon Salzberg

Distill the great spiritual teachings from around the world down to their most basic principles, and one thread emerges to unite them all: kindness. In The Force of Kindness, Sharon Salzberg, one of the nation’s most respected Buddhist authors and meditation teachers, offers practical instruction on how we can cultivate this essential trait within ourselves.

Through her stories, teachings, and guided meditations, Sharon Salzberg takes readers on an exploration of what kindness truly means and the simple steps to realize its effects immediately. She reveals that kindness is not the sweet, naive sentiment that many of us assume it is, but rather an immensely powerful force that can transform individual lives and ripple out, changing and improving relationships, the environment, our communities, and ultimately the world. Readers will learn specific techniques for cultivating forgiveness; turning compassion into action; practicing speech that is truthful, helpful, and loving; and much more.

How Self-Compassionate Are You?

Do you have a critical voice? What do you find it saying to you?

This video is a candid, vulnerable and compelling portrait from our own folks here at Sounds True.  We get their take on their own journey with self-compassion.  Discover the power of self-compassion and learn simple practices to transform your moments of moments of suffering into moments of love. 

 

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