The Self-Acceptance Project... wrap-up with Tami Simon

The Self-Acceptance Project… wrap-up with Tami Simon

Tami Simon —

June 6, 2013

I loved hosting The Self-Acceptance Project, a free 23-part online video series in which I interview leading spiritual teachers, psychologists, writers and researchers about how to be kind and compassionate towards ourselves in any and every situation. I learned so much from hosting this series that I even created a final wrap-up video in which I share the seven key insights that were true “take-aways” for me. If you are interested, you can watch the video here.

One of the most important lessons that I learned from the series was how important it is to TURN TOWARDS difficult emotional experiences instead of our habitual response of turning away (turning to distraction or food or our iphone or other ways we self-medicate and try to numb ourselves). This is a teaching that I hear so often in Sounds True recordings and books (and as an aside, there are a number of self-acceptance themed titles and programs on sale this week – visit our self-acceptance tools and teachings page).

What I find so interesting is how I continually need to be reminded to turn towards difficult feelings. It is such a natural tendency to try escape feeling terrible! Sounds True author Bruce Tift (who along with 22 other Sounds True authors is featured as part of the Self-Acceptance series) said that the reason for this is that it is actually COUNTER-INSTINCTUAL to turn towards what is difficult. Our natural animal instinct is to avoid pain, which of course makes a lot of sense. But if we are to be intimate with our emotions and therefore intimate with ourselves and intimate with the flow of life, we need to make the counter-instinctual move and turn towards what we are feeling, even if it is difficult and painful.

Okay, so let’s say we accept this basic premise. How do we do it? Many of the authors in the self-acceptance series offered the same advice, first become aware of what’s happening (for example, I am mindlessly surfing on the web but what is really going on inside me is that I feel a terrible ache in my stomach). The next step is to stay with the experience of the uncomfortable sensations. This can sometimes feel like staying with a fire that is burning on the inside. I love the phrase Bruce Tift uses for this – embodied vulnerability. We actually stay with the uncomfortable sensations and soften to the experience. When we do this, we are beginning to accept every emotional experience as part of the flow of life.

In the final episode of the self-acceptance series, I asked Sounds True listeners to write to me at acceptance@soundstrue.com about the main lessons they learned from the series. To date, I have received dozens and dozens of letters about how life-changing the program has been for people. One of the main themes I have heard is how NORMALIZING it has been to hear renowned spiritual teachers and esteemed psychologists talk about their own struggles with self-acceptance (of course, I got personal in the interviews because that’s where so much of the action and learning comes from). Seeing the universality of the challenge helped people to be kinder to themselves. Yes, we can release ourselves from being hard on ourselves about being hard on ourselves!

As I said, I loved hosting this free series, and I encourage you to check it out.

Posted June 6, 2013

Tami Simon

$Photo of ()\$

TAMI SIMON founded Sounds True in 1985 as a multimedia publishing house with a mission to disseminate spiritual wisdom. She hosts a popular weekly podcast called Insights at the Edge, where she has interviewed many of today’s leading teachers. Tami lives with her wife, Julie M. Kramer, and their two spoodles, Raspberry and Bula, in Boulder, Colorado.

Author photo © Jason Elias

Products By Author

Being True

Audio Download

Starting at: $16.78

The Self-Acceptance Project

Paperback Book

Starting at: $13.56

The Dharma of Dogs

Paperback Book

Starting at: $14.36

Also By Author

See All

blog

Post Views: 5,049

Standing Together, and Stepping Up

Tami Simon — June 12, 2020

Dear Sounds True friends and community,

While holding a mirror to our own organizational accountability, Sounds True unequivocally stands in solidarity with the Black community, the family of George Floyd, and the many others who have been victims of police brutality and ongoing racial injustice.

We stand with and for our Black employees, our Black authors and colleagues, our Black customers, and all of the protestors and social change activists—past, present, and future— who are working to put an end to racism in every corner of our society.

And we are committed to not just stand in solidarity but to step up.

Since George Floyd’s murder, we have been having many in-depth discussions among the 125-person staff at Sounds True about the most meaningful actions we can take as a transformational learning company to help educate ourselves and our community and contribute to the dismantling of racism.

We have been asking ourselves questions such as:

How can we best use our platform to better amplify the voices of wisdom teachers who are Black, Indigenous, and People of Color (BIPOC)?
What’s in our Shadow, as individuals and as an organization? What unconscious areas must now be brought into awareness?
And how do we actively address these areas so that we can evolve as an organization and be a force of genuine service in the world?

The answers to these questions are not simple, quick, or easy. It has taken me a while to write this email to you, our beloved customers and Sounds True community, because we have felt as a team the need to listen carefully and look deeply within in order to lay out an action plan moving forward that will contribute to meaningful and substantive change.

Anything less falls short of what I believe this moment is asking of us.

We also want to learn and evolve in partnership with you. We are learning and growing together as a community, and it has been important for us to create a moving-forward action plan that invites engagement from our entire audience.

With arms wide open, I invite you to witness, support, and step up with us in the following ways:

Over the next two years, Sounds True will be undergoing an in-depth Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Training in the workplace. This training initiative has been in development for over a year, and will be provided by TMI Consulting, led by Dr. Tiffany Jana. Dr. Jana is coauthor of the books Overcoming Bias, Erasing Institutional Bias, and Subtle Acts of Exclusion. As part of the training, we will be uncovering how unconscious bias, microaggressions, and micro-acts of exclusion show up in the workplace, in our personal lives, and even in our products. The training also includes a thorough audit of Sounds True’s hiring practices, HR policies, marketing materials, and more.
Sounds True also wants to include our customers, authors, and partner businesses in the introductory phase of this training process that we will be embarking upon. With that in mind, we are hosting a three-part webinar series on “Healing Racism” with Dr. Jana, beginning on Wednesday, June 24, at 8:00 pm ET | 5:00 pm PT. The series is free, and we are inviting our customers, authors, and business associates to join the Sounds True staff for this online training and to walk this part of our journey together. As someone on our email list, you will be receiving all of the details in future emails.

WATCH HERE

It is clear to us at Sounds True that we need to publish and otherwise amplify the voices of more authors and presenters who are Black, Indigenous, and People of Color. If you have ideas about new BIPOC authors you would like to see published at Sounds True or included in our summits and online offerings, please write to us at acquisitions@soundstrue.com.
The Sounds True Foundation, formed in 2018, is increasing its efforts to raise scholarship funds for BIPOC students to attend our Mindfulness Meditation Teacher Certification Program and become trained as mindfulness teachers who will bring this practice to diverse communities all over the world. We will be hosting a virtual fundraiser on June 30 for this initiative and will be emailing you with more details.

As I mentioned, working to dismantle and heal racism—in ourselves, in our organization, and in our world—is not a flash-in-the-pan effort at Sounds True. This is a long-haul commitment to the creation of a different world that is just, kind, and equitable. And we have a heckuva road to travel with you to get there.

And we are committed. We don’t want to simply talk about spiritual awakening. We want to embody it … as individuals, as a company, and as a force in the world. Humbly and boldly, we are going to give everything we have and invite you to do the same. This is the time for us to step up, together.

With love on the journey,

Tami Simon

Founder and Publisher, Sounds True

P.S. You can learn more about our commitment to creating a more compassionate world here.

blog

Post Views: 215

Happy Holidays from Sounds True

Tami Simon — November 25, 2019

“If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough.”

—Meister Eckhart

I believe that if people from all of the different wisdom traditions gathered together and were asked to agree on one focus for a special day of reflection, “giving thanks” would be somewhere at the top of the list.

Gratitude changes us. Instead of looking at what’s wrong, we turn our hearts for a moment to what’s right. And there are so many things that are right.

For example, the appreciation of one complete breath (as corny as it sounds, whenever I turn my mind to gratitude, this is the first place I start)—feeling the fluttery exhilaration of the inhale, the excitement at the top of the inhale, the relaxation of a full and deep exhale, and then the interesting open space that awaits when our exhale is complete (you can tell I feel grateful for breathing).

And then there is the feeling of air on our skin, and the faces of the people we love, and the beauty of trees and the natural world … and we can each go on and on and on and on.

And let’s do that! Let’s go on and on and on and on about all of the ways that we appreciate what is right and beautiful in this moment (and if you’re at all like me, with a tendency to focus on problem-solving, this might not be your usual perspective).

And if you do go on and on and on and appreciate the beauty that is right here, you probably won’t need science to tell you that you have shifted the neural pathways in your brain (although scientific studies will certainly confirm that)—you can feel the immediate shift.

As I write this, I feel appreciative of so many beautiful “presences” in my life, including the presence of YOU. I am grateful that you read these posts, that you feel in some way connected to Sounds True, that you are interested in personal transformation, in being wholehearted and of benefit to others. I am grateful that, even though it is through this weird form of a mass communication from me to you, we are connected.

At Sounds True, we are grateful to the entire ecosystem of which we are a part: to our authors, to the ideas themselves, to our vendors and manufacturers, to the buildings that house us, to the natural world, and to future generations.

And most of all, we are grateful to you, the individual person who enjoys and derives benefit from the learning programs we create. And we want to make sure we are meeting you “where you are at” and that our programs are accessible and you feel encouraged to explore and learn from different teachers. Like most companies, our deepest discounts of the year are available between now and the end of December, and I want you to know about this, if you are interested. To learn more about these special offers, just click here.

Gratitude creates a circle of appreciation. When we express our gratitude, the recipient feels it, lights up, and appreciates our existence in return. I love being in a virtuous circle of appreciation with you.

With love and a grateful heart,

Tami Simon

Founder and publisher,

Sounds True

P.S. Once again, our deepest discounts of the year are now available. Please click here to learn more.

podcast

Post Views: 2,411

Tami Simon: Embracing Paradox: A special micro-episode

Tami Simon — February 5, 2019

Tami Simon is the founder and CEO of Sounds True, as well as the host of Insights at the Edge. In this special episode, Tami celebrates an amazing milestone: her five-hundredth podcast. Speaking on her many years as an interviewer, Tami explains that she has been able to take in all the competing, often contradictory viewpoints of her subjects by embracing the concept of paradox. She shares numerous examples of contrasting ideas (such as the roles of anger and surrender in spiritual practice) that she has entertained as truth. Tami considers the paradox of becoming more in tune with herself over the years while also learning how interconnected she is with all other beings. Finally, Tami mulls the painful contradiction of brilliant teachers who also prey on the vulnerable and what this means for the overall quest for spiritual discovery. (36 minutes)

You Might Also Enjoy

podcast

Post Views: 6,573

Paulina Porizkova: Aging Beautifully

Paulina Porizkova — March 14, 2023

We’re all beautiful in different ways. To see this beauty in everyone around you only takes a little kindness and patience. This is just one of the many deep insights you’ll hear in this podcast with author and former supermodel Paulina Porizkova. Here, Tami Simon speaks with Paulina about her book No Filter, and how “the world is so full of beauty on every level if you stop to look for it.”

Give a listen as Tami and Paulina talk about the trouble with the word “still”; our cultural bias about youth and beauty; opposing the marketing forces deciding the standards of beauty; self-acceptance and confidence that comes from within; Paulina’s hashtag, “#BetweenJLoAndBettyWhite”; a new vision for the modeling industry; internal beauty; vulnerability and connection; the freedom of acceptance; starting from zero and rebuilding your life with the wisdom of age; and more.

Note: This episode originally aired on Sounds True One, where these special episodes of Insights at the Edge are available to watch live on video and with exclusive access to Q&As with our guests. Learn more at join.soundstrue.com.

podcast

Post Views: 5,625

Sará King: Liberatory Technology from the Future

— March 7, 2023

We live in an age of astounding technological wonders. Yet there is great fear and uncertainty around where it’s taking us all. The multitalented Dr. Sará King is a neuroscientist, education philosopher, public speaker, and codirector of Mobius, a nonprofit committed to the creation of “liberatory technology” as a countercurrent to the harm perpetuated by much of our modern technology.

In this thought-provoking podcast, Tami Simon speaks with Dr. King about her life and work, covering a variety of intriguing topics including the critical skill of self-compassion; intergenerational trauma and the relationship between the personal and the collective; how to shift to a freeing perspective on our suffering; the pain inflicted through the practice of othering; empowerment, awe, and curiosity; gratitude for our ancestors whose dreams become our reality; the metaphoric medicine bowl visualization; metta (or lovingkindness) practice; weaving together the multiplicity of selves within us; technology that contributes to our sense of interdependence and well-being; and more.

blog

Post Views: 906

The End of All-or-Nothing, Emergency Self-Care

Mara Glatzel — February 23, 2023

What message are you giving to yourself when you wait until you’re in crisis before you begin caring for yourself? I used to be deeply entrenched in this pattern. I’d care for myself just enough so that I could be productive again and then get back to work until my next care emergency. I’d crash from striving and producing without a thought to my needs and then stop just long enough to treat myself just kindly enough to nurse myself back to health so that I could resume my breakneck speed.

Those days were exhilarating because even in my burnout I felt so purposeful, high on how good I was at pushing my needs aside to tackle whatever needed tackling. Exceptionally good in a crisis, I felt born for running myself into the ground and then picking up the pieces just enough to get back to work. Even as this pattern started to break down for me, I could feel my ego attachment to it. I was good at getting things done. I was good at helping others. I was good at putting everyone else’s needs ahead of my own. I was good. I was good. I was good.

The tricky thing about this pattern is that needs will get met one way or another. They don’t just vanish or disappear when you ignore them. They become rowdier and rowdier, nipping at your heels as you try to outrun them. Your body is infinitely wise and makes more noise as your ache for care compounds itself. When you ignore your needs long enough, you will be forced to prioritize yourself by circumstance, illness, or burnout, bringing you abruptly to the crisis point of having to slow down.

But even in the face of that, attending to the need for sustenance can sometimes still feel impossible if you are exhausted from a lifetime of holding it all together. While the need for sustenance might seem to come before rest, [in my book Needy] I ordered these chapters deliberately [“Rest” coming before “Sustenance”] because having the energy to start asking big questions about what you need requires energy too. You’re crumbling beneath the weight of your conditioned expectations for yourself and others, and you judge yourself for not being about to do it all without a thought for the energetic capacity necessary to prioritize joy, pleasure, or satiety.

You might think, Well if it’s right, it should feel good or it should be easy. But tending to your needs can be almost boring, and having the capacity to investigate the larger picture of what you are hungry for requires energy. It requires stamina and self-awareness to develop a healthy relationship with yourself after being in a dysfunctional relationship—one that’s chaotic, intense, familiar, thrilling, and compelling even when you know there is no way it will all work out in the long run. After a dramatic relationship like that, a relationship in which you are respectful of each other, loyal, trustworthy, and committed to each other can feel boring—but that kind of steadfast love heals and rebuilds a steady foundation of trust. The same is true for your relationship with yourself.

Self-love so often isn’t a flash-in-the-pan,
Instagram-worthy, wait-until-the-moment
is-perfect-and-the-stars-align kind of love.

It’s about showing up for yourself each and every day and doing what needs to be done. Maybe that’s resting. Maybe that’s calling your lawyer. Maybe that’s dealing with the window that is leaking and the moldy floorboards. Taking care of yourself is showing up for your relationship with yourself each day, asking what needs to be done and doing that to the best of your abilities.

It can be mundane, but as you begin making these shifts for your own sustenance, you might find yourself softening into a rhythm and routine of caring for yourself this way.

There is a deliciousness in knowing you will be there when you need yourself. There is a sense of safety in the self-trust you build each time you choose not to abandon yourself. This work can be messy but also joyful, silly, sexy, creative, and playful. You might find yourself enjoying the celebration of infusing pleasure and sovereignty where there was none before.

And with time, you might realize that the purpose of your life is not to be good, productive, or approved by others. The purpose of your life is for YOU to live it. For you to take up space in your own thoughts and actions. For you to tend to your needs, devoting yourself to your own wholeness each and every day. For you to contribute to the world in the way that only you can. For you to love and be loved. For you to play. For your utter enjoyment and wholehearted pleasure. The purpose of your life is not to be nice and polite. It is for living—messily, humanly, in whatever way you feel is good and right for you.

Excerpted from Needy: How to Advocate for Your Needs and Claim Your Sovereignty by Mara Glatzel.

flo says:

June 13, 2013 at 12:18 pm

snarling can be the face of enlightenment. see Reggie’s “Practioner’s Notebook” –Custodians of Our Karmic Package….

flo says:

June 13, 2013 at 3:29 pm

thinking about my student whom says “You stink!” when we least expect it. It’s soooo refreshing, especially when I’m laughing inside and my face says, ” That is not appropriate behavior…..”

Sunnie N C Ezeanya says:

June 19, 2013 at 4:49 am

Tami,
You and your out-fit have been a huge source of blessing to me. Please continue the good work you’re doing.

Sunnie

Erny says:

June 25, 2013 at 2:39 pm

Thanks so much for starting this program. It is as you said in the video with Kristin Neff, I had and gave therapy for 25 years, and 10 years of meditation, but the habit of strong judging myself in a deep level seems hopeless to Change and causes a lot a suffering. So thanks for this program, How can I join in…

Matt Licata says:

June 25, 2013 at 3:27 pm

Hi Ernie, thank you for sharing your experience with us here and we’re so happy you enjoyed the video with Dr. Neff. As for joining in, have you had a chance to watch all of the videos? We’ll be offering a new series early next year where we’ll continue our dialogue, this time focusing on intimacy and intimate relationship. Thank you again for sharing with us.

Reply

Lisa says:

September 6, 2013 at 12:37 am

Tammy,

I just discovered your podcast series and have been listening to many of them. Thank you so much for making them available for free. I can’t wait to discover and listen to this new series. Sometimes I feel so guilty about things that I’ve done in the past, or things that I still struggle with daily to be the kindler, gentler person that I want to be in the world. People tell me that I’m very hard on myself. So, this topic is very timely for me, and I will report back to you once I’ve listened to it all. I have felt much better and I feel my life transforming in so many subtle ways just from listening to the sounds true podcasts and taking a quiet week just for myself to get back into being in touch with my own inner wisdom. Thank you again for sharing so much with the world. I love the sounds true music, too!

This all started when I was mesmerized by some music and books in a local store, by the way.

With gratitude and love,
Lisa