The mind is a field of infinite energy that generates thoughts like wavelets or ripples in a lake. These wavelets are transient and harmless unless we hold them in place by focusing undue attention on them. Held in place, these wavelets freeze and become the mental patterns of our ego and belief systems, which distort our perception from then on. Liberation comes from learning to relax and not resist energy as it passes through, and by letting go of the older patterns as they arise.
Modern physics has shown us that all form, including our bodies, is simply vibrations in an underlying omnipresent field, the quantum field. Through deep meditation, ancient yogis also found an underlying omnipresent field, consciousness. Could these fields end up being the same? The key to exploring this for yourself is to realize that you are not your thoughts, emotions, or experiences—you are the consciousness observing them. To remain seated in this state of awareness, you must learn not to be distracted by these objects of consciousness. Spiritual evolution is not about becoming something; it’s about ceasing to identify with what you are not.
Have you noticed that you live with a personal mind that is shaped by your past experiences? In that mind, you develop a self-concept of how life should be. This ego-mind leads to tremendous suffering and distorted views of truth. True spirituality involves recognizing that you are not your thoughts or experiences, but the consciousness that observes them. By ceasing to identify with your ego and facing reality without resistance, you can awaken to a deeper truth and experience lasting peace and fulfillment.
An Excerpt From To Tend And To Hold: Honoring Our Bodies, Our Needs, and Our Grief Through Pregnancy and Infant Loss
For as long as there has been life, there has been death. For as long as we have birthed life, we have also birthed death. What you feel has been felt since time immemorial, and it has been felt by many, though womb loss is still not widely known or acknowledged. Consider that even in the most optimal conditions, there is only a 30 to 40 percent chance that a clinically recognized pregnancy will occur in a given menstrual cycle, and only about 30 percent of conceived pregnancies progress to live birth.1 Globally, approximately one in four pregnancies end in miscarriage and 2.6 million pregnancies end in stillbirth.2 In 2022, 2.3 million newborns died in the first month of life,3 and approximately 73 million induced abortions occur every year.4 Womb loss in and after pregnancy is, in fact, a common and regular occurrence, though many of us may struggle with feelings of inadequacy and shame as if such loss is atypical and we are deserving of blame. The prevailing stigma surrounding womb loss makes enduring it all the more challenging as we may feel reluctant to reach out for support and hold on to harmful ideas about our worth. You are not alone, nor are you any less precious and deserving of support. You are not alone as the anguish of womb loss has been felt, is being felt at this very moment, and will continue to be felt the world over.
Before we go any further, let us reconnect with our breath. It can be hard to breathe if you’ve recently learned about your womb loss or impending loss and feel pressure to make decisions right away. Or if you have learned of the potential for a loss and have to endure a waiting period before you know for certain. It can be hard to breathe even as you process a loss long since passed. The following practice is an invitation to make the resilient choice to slow down and allow yourself a moment to breathe. So that you can feel grounded. So that you can have the capacity to be present to your grief. So that you can tend to your needs.
GROUNDING BREATHING PRACTICE
Three Deep Breaths
This offering is a simple and short breathing practice. Because you deserve breathing room, and because there is power in the pause. In that fleeting moment between what was and what can be, if you can breathe deeply and connect with your body, you may find yourself more able to understand what you feel and then what you need. Allow yourself this pause so you can make a more intentional decision about what comes next.
The Invitation
When you are ready, take three deep breaths at your own pace and in your own way. You might inhale and exhale through the nose or inhale through the nose and exhale audibly through the mouth. You might close your eyes or soften your gaze as you do so, allowing your awareness to gently follow each breath, letting everything else fade to the background. You might even think the following words as you breathe, allowing them to help you feel grounded in this moment.
Inhale. Exhale. One.
Inhale. Exhale. Two.
Inhale. Exhale. Two.
Your body may want to continue breathing this way, or it may feel like this was enough. Honor what feels right for you.
Sometimes breathing is the most we can bring ourselves to do, the best we can do, when our whole being is overcome. Deciding what comes next may feel like too much to ask of ourselves. If so, breathe, and trust that it is enough for this moment.
Eileen Santos Rosete, MSMFT, PCD(DONA), CYT 200, holds a master of science in marriage and family therapy from Northwestern University and is certified as a DONA International postpartum doula, trauma-informed yoga teacher, and grief educator. Her brand, Our Sacred Women®, is known for its elevated offerings that help women feel seen, held, and honored. She is especially passionate about supporting all who give birth and are postpartum both after live births and after loss. To learn more, visit eileensantosrosete.com.
People shape their aspirations based on their past experiences, clinging to what they liked and resisting what they disliked. This leads to a life filled with anxiety and the need to control. You can break free from this cycle by letting go of blockages from the past and engaging with life as it unfolds. To help you do this, your experiences in life can be wonderful teachers. Ultimately, they teach you that the pursuit of external acceptance and material success pales in comparison to inner peace and self-discovery. There is something very beautiful hiding inside of you—go find it.
Consciousness is eternal, infinite, and the fundamental essence of life. You become lost by focusing your awareness on your thoughts, emotions, and outside experiences. This distracts you from your true nature. In the end, true spirituality lies in recognizing that you are not the sum of your experiences; you are the indwelling consciousness that had the experiences. By letting go of the false identification with your ego, you can reconnect with the universal consciousness and experience true freedom.
