Understanding your mind is a lifelong journey where you learn that thoughts are just like waves in the ocean that come and go. This involves recognizing that thoughts and feelings, whether positive or negative, arise from deeper patterns formed by past experiences. By aligning more closely with our true spiritual nature, we can experience a deeper sense of peace, free from the ups and downs of life.
Take a few minutes to sit peacefully with your eyes closed or looking down. Observe your breath as you breathe in and out.
Allow yourself to breathe naturally, without any modification of the breath.
For a few minutes, simply observe your breath in its most natural state, as it passes through your nostrils.
If you find that you are distracted by your thoughts or sounds, no problem; just go back to observing your breath.
In your mind, see a table.
In English, it is described by the word “table.”
This table is made up of many pieces: a top, legs, glue, nails, and varnish.
The legs and top are made up of wood from a tree. Before the tree was cut down it grew as a result of many variables—sunlight, seeds, rain, earth, and wind, to name just a few.
And before it was a tree, it was a seed from another tree, and another tree before that.
What about the nails or the varnish? Those items can also be traced backward to the people, companies, and components that went into their production.
And the people who created the components also came into being from their parents, and their parents before them.
We now see that everything around us—all phenomena—were caused by something that preceded it and can be traced back to a beginningless time.
Next time, pick another thing, place, or person and go through the same logic. As you go about your day, notice everything around you and apply the same logic.
When you walk around your work or home environment, notice that everything is empty of inherent existence. Everything has a name that refers to a thing that comes together for a time.
Zen teacher Norman Fischer said:
In the end everything is just designation: things have a kind of reality in their being named and conceptualized, but otherwise they actually aren’t there in the way we think they are. That is, connection is all you find, with no things that are connected.[. . .] It’s the very thoroughness of the connection—without gaps or lumps in it—only the constant nexus wherever you turn—that renders everything void. So everything is empty and connected or empty because connected. Emptiness is connection.
This is an excerpt from The Tibetan Book of the Dead for Beginners: A Guide to Living and Dying by Lama Lhanang Rinpoche and Mordy Levine.
Have you ever been in the spotlight? The excitement, the lights, and… …ALL EYES ON YOU (Gulp!)
While some athletes, speakers, and performers bask in the glow, it can be scary for most others. I happen to be one of these “others,” complete with sweaty palms, a racing heart, and a blank mind!
These big feelings inspired me to write All Eyes on You, a story that helps kids overcome performance anxiety when they find themselves the center of attention, such as on stage, in a classroom, or on the baseball field.
I share tried-and-true tips for dealing with these moments (such as breathing exercises and counting to slow down your racing heart) while also having fun (like picturing the audience in their underwear) to help boost confidence and be present in the moment.
It also makes an excellent tool for helping others calm the butterfly stampede in their stomachs and feel a sense of camaraderie that they are not alone in their stage fright.
So when the stage calls (or the front of the classroom or home plate), take a deep breath and give these tips a try. You just might surprise yourself—and those around you!
Break a leg,
Susi Schaefer Author & Illustrator
P.S. I invite you to download free coloring sheets from the book to also enjoy with the little ones in your life!
Susi Schaefer
Susi Schaefer trained as a classical glass painter in Austria before moving to the United States and studying graphic design. She is the illustrator of Zoo Zen and Good Morning, I Love You, Violet! as well as the author-illustrator of other picture books for children. For more, visit susischaefer.com.
Recorded live in our Boulder studios for the Self-Acceptance Project, Bruce shares with Tami (and viewers around the world) the importance of both psychological and spiritual approaches to the journey of freedom, love, and awareness. In my experience, Bruce is one of the most gifted and innovative therapists out there and someone I feel honored to call a friend and mentor.
As part of our free, 12-week video event series, I invited 23 psychologists, psychotherapists, neuroscientists, and spiritual teachers to speak with my friend and longtime colleague, Tami Simon, to ask the tough questions, and to explore the the relationship between self-acceptance and the larger spiritual journey.
All episodes of the Self-Acceptance Project are now posted and can be accessed as video or audio downloads, or can be streamed at no cost from the comfort of your own home. Our deep gratitude to the 35,000+ of you who registered for the series; we hope you enjoyed and benefited from it.
It is our intention to bring you more high-quality content in this area over the months and years to come. Our next series will focus on Deepening Intimacy, launching in the new year.
What have we done to our mothers? Sociologists call our times “the era of intensive mothering,” a period in which moms must be it all and do it all for their children and families. Psychotherapist and maternal mental health specialist Erica Djossa has made it her mission to teach today’s mothers how to take care of their well-being in a sustainable way. In this podcast, Tami Simon speaks with Erica about her much-needed new book, Releasing the Mother Load, and the steps we can take to challenge the norms and change the culture around mothering.
Enjoy this empowering discussion of: values-centered mothering; mothers as martyrs; the pressures facing a generation of “overinformed, overeducated, and overwhelmed” moms; equally sharing our household duties; the cost of cognitive or invisible labor; boundaries; using the “load map” to redistribute the work; “mom rage,” its roots, and the unique nature of anger in motherhood; identifying the “red light and green light” times for difficult conversations with partners (and sticking to them); overcoming perfectionism; self-compassion; re-parenting yourself while you’re parenting your children; the disempowering belief that I’m failing as a mom; effective self-care for moms (it’s not just bubble baths!); advice for making changes—start small; and more.
Note: This episode originally aired on Sounds True One, where these special episodes of Insights at the Edge are available to watch live on video and with exclusive access to Q&As with our guests. Learn more at join.soundstrue.com.
Bliss out on baby, mi amor. Love your chichis. Admire your soft curves, your delicate belly, and the way you require intentional care. Everything deep comes to the surface as you pour sweat, milk, blood, and tears onto your sheets. I want your postpartum to feel blissful, so here are five tips to help you make that happen.
1. Make a postpartum plan.
You can’t plan exactly the way the birth will pan out, but you can plan the details of your postpartum support. Bodywork, meals, laundry, and childcare for your other children are some things to consider. Use this book as a guide to feel into what nonnegotiables you’ll need in place during la cuarentena.
2. Don’t DIY postpartum.
There’s a time and place for self-reliance. Postpartum ain’t the time. Postpartum traditions are community centered. Once you know that you’re pregnant, surrender to other folks holding you. Waddle that ass to circles with like-minded familias who you know would be down for mutual support. This is why we have the Indigemama community and so many other comunidades who are dedicated to saving our lives.
3. Shift your mindset.
One of the biggest internal challenges I see postpartum people go through is the mental chatter that puts a wall up, barring any chance for outside support. When we’re socialized into struggling and then rewarded for doing things on our own, it’s easy to feel guilty asking for help. You might be distrustful of other people’s capacity to fulfill your needs. How many times have you heard women say, “If you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself”? This belief sets postpartum people up for anxiety, stress, depression, and overwhelm. If you want postpartum done right, you have to feel in your body that you are worthy of being venerated; you must feel that you are deserving of being held.
Paying homage to you is paying homage to nature itself. Give your potential supporters that opportunity to connect with creation.
4. Repeat after me: affirmations, affirmations.
It’s easy to feel ashamed to ask for what you need. It’s normal to feel guilty when you see how hard people are working for you. Give yourself a pep talk: I allow myself to be cared for. I accept this help. I trust that I can be held without lifting a finger. I surrender myself to the love and labor of others. I soften and allow myself to be carried. I want you to do this every moment that you need it. When you affirm that you’re doing the right thing over and over, then eventually it becomes second nature.
5. Support your romantic relationship.
Postpartum is stressful AF! Those of us with multiple children can tell you that the little ones tend to take precedent over romantic relationships. But after a while, that really weighs down a union. Plan relationship goals. When will you start to date again? What’s the plan for one-on-one time? Who are the people who hold you and your partner(s) up as a sacred union? What baggage can you each decide to let go of now? What support can each of you get individually from healthy older couples who are content with each other? What can you appreciate about each other during la cuarentena? What words do you need to say to each other when the going gets tough? Nurturing a healthy, loving relationship with each other when you’re parenting children is a practice of discipline.
This excerpt is from Thriving Postpartum: Embracing the Indigenous Wisdom of La Cuarentena by Pānquetzani
Pānquetzani
Pānquetzani comes from a matriarchal family of folk healers from the valley of Mexico (Tenochtitlan, Texcoco, and Tlaxcala), La Comarca Lagunera (Durango and Coahuila), and Zacatecas. As a traditional herbalist, healer, and birth keeper, Pānquetzani has touched over 3,000 wombs and bellies. Through her platform, Indigemama: Ancestral Healing, she has taught over 100 live, in-person intensives and trainings on womb wellness. She lives in California. For more, visit indigemama.com.
