The belief that your inner state is fundamentally not okay, and you must spend most of your life struggling to be okay, is the cause of great suffering. Eventually, you will come to realize that it is only because you stored unresolved past experiences inside your heart and mind that you don’t feel a natural flow of great joy within. These stored blockages get triggered repeatedly, creating mental and emotional turmoil. Real spiritual growth comes through recognizing this pattern and learning to release these inner blockages rather than resisting or suppressing them.
When we treat ourselves with kindness, it turns on the learning centers of the brain and gives us the resources to face challenges and learn from our mistakes. Transformation requires a compassionate mindset, not shame.
And yet, people often worry that self-love will make them lazy, self-indulgent, or self-absorbed. Science shows just the opposite: people with greater self-love are more compassionate toward others, more successful and productive, and more resilient to stress.
The best news of all: self-love can be learned. We can rewire the structure of our brain and strengthen the neural circuitry of love toward ourselves and others. Each time we practice self-love, we grow this pathway.
My new children’s book, Good Morning, I Love You, Violet!, offers a road map for strengthening your child’s brain circuitry of deep calm, contentment, and self-love.
It is built on principles of psychology and neuroscience and offers a simple yet powerful practice.
As a mother, when asked what I believe is the most important thing we can teach our children, I always answer “self-love.” Learning to be on our own team and to treat ourselves with kindness is life-changing. There is no greater gift we can give our children. There is no greater gift we can give ourselves.
May this book plant seeds of kindness that ripple out into the world.
Shauna Shapiro, PhD
P.S. I invite you to download a free coloring sheet from the book, created by illustrator Susi Schaefer, to enjoy with the children in your life.
Shauna Shapiro is a mother, bestselling author, professor, clinical psychologist, and internationally recognized expert in mindfulness and self-compassion. She lives in Mill Valley, California. Learn more at drshaunashapiro.com.
Inside the broken-open heart it is unbearably alive
The world cries out for you to mend the brokenness
Yet there is another longing to stay broken, to befriend the sadness, to hold the loneliness
There are colors in the sky that could never be seen
There is a scent in the jasmine that could never be known
There are sensations in the breeze that could never be felt… until this moment
It is only within the broken-open heart that the unseen can reveal itself
Tami Simon speaks with Bodhipaksa, a Buddhist teacher, author, and member of the Western Buddhist Order since 1993. He currently teaches Buddhism and meditation to prisoners and is the author of several books, including Wildmind: A Step-by-step Guide to Meditation, as well as the Sounds True audio learning programs Still the Mind and The Wisdom of the Breath. In this interview, Bodhipaksa discusses the fluid nature of identity: what he calls “living as a river.” (56 minutes)
Tami Simon speaks with Leigh Fortson about her book Embrace, Release, Heal, an empowering guide to talking about, thinking about, and treating cancer. Leigh spent decades practicing healthy
lifestyle habits, and was shocked to find out, in 2006, that she had cancer. Today she has a clean bill of health and lives in Colorado with her family. In this interview, Leigh speaks about “the morphic field” of cancer, the importance of accepting responsibility after a cancer diagnosis, and her view of “fighting cancer” in order to thrive. (56 minutes)
Tami Simon speaks with Arjuna Ardagh, an awakening coach, teacher, public speaker, and the author of seven books, including the 2005 bestseller The Translucent Revolution. Arjuna studied with the great Indian teacher Papaji, and is the founder of the Living Essence Foundation and Awakening Coach Training organizations. With Sounds True, he has released the book and audio program Leap Before You Look and the audio learning course Let Yourself Go. In this episode, Tami speaks with Arjuna about how we may become a “channel of light” while accepting our shadow side, how our intimate partners can be our greatest teachers, and what it means to live a life that is “spiritually mature.” (72 minutes)
