Elizabeth Earnshaw

Elizabeth Earnshaw, LMFT, CGT, is a licensed family and marriage therapist, Certified Gottman Therapist, AAMFT Approved Supervisor, and founder of A Better Life Therapy. She’s known for her popular Instagram account @lizlistens, is the author of I Want This to Work, and has been featured in the New York Times, USA Today, The Washington Post, and more. She lives between Philadelphia and New Orleans with her husband and children. For more, visit elizabethearnshaw.com.

Author photo © Veronika Paluch

Listen to Tami Simon's in-depth audio podcast interviews with Elizabeth Earnshaw:
What You Can Do to Make Your Relationship Work »

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What You Can Do to Make Your Relationship Work

Elizabeth Earnshaw works with individuals, couples, and families and is the founder of A Better Life Therapy. She holds a master’s degree in marriage and family therapy, is a licensed marriage and family therapist, and is a certified Gottman Method couples therapist. Elizabeth also trains and supervises new therapists seeking their licenses in the counseling field. With Sounds True, she is the author of I Want This to Work: An Inclusive Guide to Navigating the Most Difficult Relationship Issues We Face in the Modern Age. 

In this podcast, Sounds True founder, Tami Simon, speaks with Elizabeth Earnshaw about what she has discovered to be the building blocks for a successful relationship—and the most common pitfalls that can lead to irreparable damage. They also discuss the unique approach of the Gottman Method and the research behind it; the importance of turning toward your partner (and the dangers of turning away); “bids for connection” as key moments in relationship; the “four horsemen” of unhealthy communication: criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling, and contempt; the three Rs of a healthy relationship: reliability, respect, and responsiveness; interdependence, or how we balance our desires for connection and our desires for autonomy; repairing broken trust; the recent dramatic decline in the divorce rate; the connection between happy relationships and physical health; avoiding the trap of “triangulation”; and more.

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Ep 9: Live the Questions Now

When it comes to building the Great Turning, it’s natural to have questions: What is my individual role in it all? How do we win? Who do we fight? While Jess wrestles with her desire for a “prescription” of what to do, Joanna invites us to “live the questions” instead. In this episode, we learn about the three dimensions of the Great Turning and the way forward: community, relationship, and solidarity. 

In this episode:

  • There are no perfect road maps, but if we come together in courage and community, the way will emerge
  • The climate crisis is not just an environmental issue but a spiritual crisis of disconnection
  • Bonus Exercise: The Bodhisattva Check-In

We recommend starting a podcast club with friends or family to do these practices together. Links and assets to help prompt reflection and build community can be found with every episode on WeAreTheGreatTurning.com.

Ep 8: Eros and Thanatos

This episode explores the powerful role of Eros (sensual love) and Thanatos (death) in fueling our connection to the world as we contribute to the Great Turning. Joanna and Jess discuss how we might learn to see our world as our lover (and as our self), the gifts of cultivating a sensual connection with the world, and how facing mortality can make the gift of being alive feel even more precious. They also reflect on the closeness of Joanna’s own death, which Joanna sees as “going home” to rejoin the cycle of life.

In this episode:

  • Using our love and awareness of impermanence as fuel for activism
  • Discovering ways to truly feel interconnected with all life through sensual presence
  • Reflections on mortality and our place in the cycle of life

We recommend starting a podcast club with friends or family to do these practices together. Links and assets to help prompt reflection and build community can be found with every episode on WeAreTheGreatTurning.com.

Ep 7 Bonus: Seventh Generation Exercise

This bonus episode will support you to take the main insights from Episode 7: “We Are a Part of a River of Time” deeper into your life. 

Jess will guide you through an adaptation of the Work That Reconnects exercise called “The Seventh Generation,” which she talks about in Episode 7. We recommend listening to the episode before doing this bonus. In this exercise, you will be invited to use your imagination and do some creative, guided role-playing with a friend, where one of you will speak as yourself, and the other will speak as a future being. 

For this exercise, you’ll need a friend and a place that is quiet enough for you to sit face-to-face and talk freely.  

We recommend starting a podcast club with friends or family to do these practices together. Links and assets to help prompt reflection and build community can be found with every episode on WeAreTheGreatTurning.com.

 

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