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5 Pachydermal Tips to Bring Peace to the Holiday Seaso...

Sarah Bamford Seidelmann — November 27, 2017

Though it may seem unlikely that an elephant could know anything about navigating the wild and woolly holiday season that is now upon us – you might be surprised. These thoughtful beasties have much soft, gray, and wrinkly wisdom to share with humans. Alice the Elephant, an elephant in spirit form, is a wonderful companion of mine and she has generously agreed to share 5 aligning tips to help you have the most meaningful experience possible this holiday season.

Grace is an attitude. Have you ever seen elephants swimming under water? We are capable of balletic flow and majesty! It’s as if we have no idea that we weigh as much as a car! We embody buoyancy. So, remember, when you are trying desperately to find a gluten-free, vegan, fair trade, sustain-ably harvested, dairy-free entree on Pinterest to serve at Thanksgiving and despite how heavy that might seem — you can choose to float. Breathe and even try a pirouette.

Rely on your posse. We elephants lean heavily on one another for emotional support and make it a point to linger together at our favorite watering holes. It keeps us strong. The holidays are no time to skimp on time with friends. I lovingly insist that you double down on phone calls, caring texts, walking/coffee dates, and nights out with your girls/boys. You’ll be having such a good time you won’t even worry about the fact that your holiday cards never even got ordered in the first place.

Show your heart. When we elephants feel something, we aren’t afraid to express it. We cry. We reach out and touch each other with our trunks to trace the beautiful curves of our friend’s cheeks. I implore you this holiday season to say what you need to say and – a good place to start is “I’m sorry” or “I love you,” or, “I appreciate you.” These simple gifts trump any kind of shark attack survival kit or three-piece, minty melon bath set from T.J. Maxx.

Clear a path for yourself. We elephants aren’t afraid to do what it takes to get what we need. If the last juicy marula fruit is dangling from a tree’s tip top branch, just out of reach, we will wrap our trunk around the tree and pull it out from the ground to get that fruit. What is standing between you and your marula fruit (a.k.a your peaceful holiday season)? Too many commitments? Too many gifts to shop for? A holiday letter you have dreaded writing for twenty years? It’s time to pull out (by the roots) what stands between you and that juicy fruit! Jettison the letter. Go gift-free for a year or agree to exchange books for that matter. And, for elephant’s sake, say no to the office party that gives you hives!

Never forget. Above all: Commit to believing that you deserve to experience all of the love and connection your heart desires. No earning or repenting or serving time is required. Elephants never forget this.

Looking for more great reads?

Excerpted from The Book of Beasties by Sarah Bamford Seidelmann.

Sarah Bamford Seidelmann was a physician living a nature-starved, hectic lifestyle until a walrus entered her life and changed everything. She has trained at the Martha Beck Institute and Michael Harner’s Foundation for Shamanic Studies, and is author of Swimming with Elephants (Conari Press, 2017) and the forthcoming Book of Beasties (Sounds True, 2018). She lives in northern Minnesota.

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Recognizing Your Blind Spots

Kelly Boys — November 26, 2017

Blind spots, by nature, aren’t seen by you, and cause you to behave unconsciously in ways that have impact on yourself, others, and the world around you. Blind spots are not areas you are familiar with that you are ‘working on’ – qualities you are developing – for example, trying to be more patient with your kids or more loving with your partner. Those qualities may be related to blind spots, but that is not what I’m addressing here. Blind spots are literally what you DON’T see about yourself.

Have you ever had trouble taking in some piece of information – in a talk or a book you’re reading, or sitting on your therapist’s couch? Usually it’s a seemingly innocuous and simple piece of information, but you just can’t get it, or hear it. It’s like you’re going fuzzy. That is a good indication of a blind spot trying to come into the light.

Or perhaps even worse, you keep getting the same feedback from your partner, your coworkers, and even the generalized world around you keeps holding up the same mirror. But it doesn’t quite make sense. You actually can’t really hear or see it. Or even if it makes sense intellectually, it just doesn’t seem necessarily relevant or important enough to demand your attention. Even though you’re hearing the information with your two ears, it flies right past you in terms of actually sticking in your brain, your being, your heart. It actually does not compute. Another signal that it may be a blind spot!

What we tend to end up with as we become adults is an imbalanced view of ourselves that plays handily into the creation and maintenance of our blind spots. What if you saw this mechanism at play, and then saw the pain and suffering you add on top of it? We usually do this in two ways: by personalizing it all and making ourselves either too big for our britches or conversely, unworthy of love and care. This is what I mean by an ‘imbalanced’ self view: too big or too small, over-amazing or under-good-enough. What if you had the courage and humility it would take to admit and embrace your actual place in the world? Even if that means it’s an amazing place in the world? It doesn’t have to be small and hidden just because we are humble and aware. But we are at home.

This is what I mean by learning how to live an undefended life. We aren’t propping up a flimsy ideal of who we think we should or shouldn’t be, or who we think others want us to be. We just are who we are, at home in our own skin, blemishes and all. And we inhabit ourselves so much so that our gifts fall out of us necessarily, rightfully, and with ease.

What if being yourself isn’t essentially about finding your voice, your true calling, your best self, your most significant offering to the world, but instead is about learning to become at home in the world – your world? Learning to become a simple, content, good human being. With no promises on the outcome. Just for the sake of it.

Looking for more great reads?

Excerpted from The Blind Spot Effect by Kelly Boys.

Kelly Boys directed the launch of Google’s “Search Inside Yourself” leadership training program for neuroscience-based emotional intelligence and mindfulness. She’s taught war veterans, women in prison, cancer survivors, those with substance abuse addictions, humanitarian workers, and psychotherapists. She lives in Boulder, Colorado. More at kellyboys.org.

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Taking the Small Stuff in Stride

Lama Surya Das — November 24, 2017

Especially during the holidays, it’s helpful to have a good perspective and take things in stride. Here, Lama Surya Das shares some of his favorite remindfulness practices for keeping the big picture in focus:

My own practice for not sweating the small stuff entails utilizing a few homemade quotes and potent slogans that speak to me. I keep yellow sticky notes and index cards on my desk, bathroom mirror, dashboard, wallet, and computer. I practice what I call remindfulness by remembering to look at these handwritten adages; they help me recall what is important in the bigger picture and in the long run — my values, principles, vows, practices, and goals. I let the wisdom of these maxims sink in, inevitably defusing the situation before it gets anywhere near out of hand.

Among these potent pointers, here are my favorite:

“This too shall pass.”
- This slogan reminds me to practice patience, acceptance, and forbearance in the face of irritation and disappointment. I also remember to stay in touch with the long view, because things are cyclic and nothing happens without causes, even if not immediately apparent to me.
“How much will this matter to me a year or two from now?”
I also like to echo the Diamond Sutra, the world’s oldest printed book, which quotes Buddha saying: “See things as like a dream, a fantasy, a mirage.”
- I usually add the word sitcom or movie, just for fun. This traditional Dharma teaching helps me remember to regard everything as like rainbows or the divine dance of illusion. It helps me take things a lot less seriously and leave room for my inner child and little Buddha within to stand up, play, dance, and sing.

Probably the most effective, practical yoga and meditation-related maxim is this:

“Breathe, relax, center, and smile. Nothing is as important as it seems at this moment.”
- That really cools my jets, and allows for more intelligent decision-making and clear-headed thinking to proceed.

I’ve gotten my friend Amelia into the habit of singing (often in her head) the great nursery-rhyme mantra guaranteed to defuse any difficult situation:

“Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream.”

If I have a good amount of time and feel inspired to co-meditate with the Masters for further spiritual relief and sustenance — perhaps when I’m sitting in a waiting room at the airport or somewhere — I either close my eyes and chant Tibetan mantras and prayers to myself, so only my collar can hear it (as Dudjom Rinpoche once advised), or I recite Buddha’s Metta Sutra (Maitri or Loving- Kindness Sermon) which includes the line:

“May all beings be happy and at ease!”

Or I might take St. Francis of Assisi’s Peace Prayer out of my wallet and read:

“Make me an instrument of your peace . . .”

I invite you to try my small-stuff slogans out, one at a time, and see how they work for you. Or find other one-liners and make up your own.

Looking for more great reads?

Excerpted from Make Me One with Everything by Lama Surya Das

Lama Surya Das is one of the most learned and highly trained American-born lamas in the Tibetan Dzogchen tradition. He is the founder of the Dzogchen Center in Cambridge, Massachusetts and Austin, Texas, and the author of many books, including Awakening the Buddha Within. For more, visit surya.org.

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Chandresh Bhardwaj: Break the Norms

Chandresh Bhardwaj — November 21, 2017

Chandresh Bhardwaj is a globally acclaimed speaker, the founder of the Break the Norms movement, and the lineage-holder of a family of Indian gurus that dates back seven generations. With Sounds True, he has published the book Break the Norms: Questioning Everything You Think You Know About God and Truth, Life and Death, Love and Sex. In this episode of Insights at the Edge, Tami Simon speaks with Chandresh about the legacy of his family’s teachings and what he needed to break away from in order to make his own way in the world. They talk about the paramount importance of knowing the right questions to ask, and how a question can powerfully shape one’s spiritual path. Tami and Chandresh also speak on his conception of death and its implications. Finally, Chandresh shares the story of the difficult steps he had to take in his own journey when his inner path contradicted society’s expectations. (64 minutes)

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Rainn Wilson: Chewing on Life’s Big Questions

Rainn Wilson — November 14, 2017

Rainn Wilson is a multitalented actor, comedian, producer, and activist who is best known for his role as Dwight Schrute on the American version of The Office, but is also renowned for roles in cult favorites such as Juno, Super, and Galaxy Quest. He has cofounded the digital media company SoulPancake and the nonprofit organization Lidé. In this episode of Insights at the Edge, Tami Simon speaks with Rainn about the Baha’i faith that he was raised in and eventually returned to as an adult, as well as the reasons why he once again opened to that spiritual path. They talk about the founder of the Baha’i faith, Baha’u’llah, and the persecution both he and his followers faced as Baha’i evolved into what it is today. Rainn also discusses the search for God as the greatest mystery and what it means to seek the unknowable. Finally, Tami and Rainn converse on art as an expression of faith and how that expression can be used in service of the betterment of humanity. (67 minutes)

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John Lockley: Sangoma

John Lockley — October 24, 2017

John Lockley is a traditional healer, or sangoma, from the Xhosa lineage in South Africa, the same tribe that gave us Nelson Mandela and Archbishop Desmond Tutu. He runs “Ubuntu” (humanity) workshops worldwide, helping people connect to their ancestors, the earth, and one another. His mission in the Western world could be summed up in the Xhosa word “Masiyembo”—involving a profound remembering of the human spirit. As John says, “When people can remember their dreams and connect to their life purpose, then their true vocation surfaces; namely being in service and acting as guardians to our planet.” With Sounds True, John has published Leopard Warrior: A Journey into the African Teachings of Ancestry, Instinct, and Dreams. In this episode of Insights at the Edge, John speaks with Tami Simon about his startling journey to becoming a sangoma and what he learned while caught between two cultures in apartheid-era South Africa. They speak on what it means to honor one’s ancestors and how life takes on a new richness with that practice. Finally, John sings a blessing song called “The Great Spirit,” inviting listeners to share in its calling. (69 minutes)

Category: Spirituality

5 Pachydermal Tips to Bring Peace to the Holiday Seaso...

Recognizing Your Blind Spots

Taking the Small Stuff in Stride

Chandresh Bhardwaj: Break the Norms

Rainn Wilson: Chewing on Life’s Big Questions

John Lockley: Sangoma

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