Self-Compassion Archives - Page 2 of 34

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Give Yourself Permission to Take Up Space

Mara Glatzel — April 18, 2023

Dearest Friend,

We live in a world full of deadlines. Alarms. Screaming kids. Nagging bosses. More on our to-do lists than we could accomplish in three lifetimes. It’s easy for your needs to get buried underneath the rubble of daily life, and figuring out how to reconnect with your authentic self can feel touch and go… at best.

I wrote Needy: How to Advocate for Your Needs and Claim Your Sovereignty to lovingly provide the space for you to better understand your needs, experiment with new habits that help you meet those needs each day, and build a resilient connection with yourself that you can rely upon for good.

You have needs—your needs matter. And yet, you’ve been taught that pushing your needs to the back burner is the only way to get things done, that your needs are an overwhelming burden, or that self-care is a luxury you can’t afford. But the presence of your needs is a fact and not a flaw. You can reclaim your energy and give yourself permission to take up space in the center of your own life.

In Needy, I share my unique approach to identifying, honoring, and advocating for the most tender and true parts of yourself that yearn to be acknowledged. It is an invitation to embody self-acceptance, which leads to meaningful growth in self-responsibility, self-care, self-trust, and self-love.

This book will be a delicious companion for your journey, but you actually can begin caring for yourself with greater tenderness and open communication right now.

I invite you to take the next three minutes to check in with yourself.

Put down your phone, close your computer, and put your hand on your heart.

Breath deeply into your belly and ask yourself:

How do I feel?

What do I need?

What does my body need from me?

What is ONE, doable need that I am ready, able, and willing to meet?

Real self-care is responsive, not prescriptive. The care you are aching for right now will be found in asking yourself those four questions. Give yourself permission to start with one, tangible action.

And repeat as necessary.

Need more? I will see you between the pages of Needy. I am so grateful to be able to share this book with you, and I hope you will share it with the humans in your life who struggle to take up space in this way.

xx Mara

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Mara Glatzel: What Do You Need?

Mara Glatzel — April 4, 2023

We all have needs. Yet why is it so difficult to honor them? In this podcast, Tami Simon speaks with Mara Glatzel about her book, Needy: How to Advocate for Your Needs and Claim Your Sovereignty, and how we might begin to answer the profound question: What happens when we take radical responsibility for our needs?

Tune in for an empowering and indeed much-needed conversation about “giving ourselves permission to take up space in the center of our lives,” exploring: building a working vocabulary around needs and feelings, the disempowering stories we carry about what it means to have needs, the daily practice of identifying your needs, the harmful habit of consistently putting your needs aside, asking for the fullness of what you want, developing a strong self-partnership, shifting from people-pleasing to setting boundaries, Mara’s practice of “staying low and open and receptive,” self-care and “staying in the game,” making commitments that matter, knowing your job and their job when it comes to conversations about needs, the fallacy that one person alone can meet another’s vast and myriad needs, accessing your body’s intelligence, working in your inner landscape, sovereignty amid relationship and interdependency, the challenge of receiving everything you’re asking for, and more.

Note: This episode originally aired on Sounds True One, where these special episodes of Insights at the Edge are available to watch live on video and with exclusive access to Q&As with our guests. Learn more at join.soundstrue.com.

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Rachel Macy Stafford: The Soul Shift to What Really Ma...

Rachel Macy Stafford — March 28, 2023

In her new book, Soul Shift, Rachel Macy Stafford offers a practical approach to navigating a culture of distraction and depletion to find your way back to what delights your heart, makes you feel alive, and brings you peace. In this podcast, Tami Simon speaks with Rachel about the attitude and actions involved in making a “soul shift” and learning to embrace what we know matters most to us.

Give a listen to a conversation that will help you radically reprioritize your to-do list with urgency and passion, as Tami and Rachel discuss recognizing the angels in your life; trusting your heart; the importance of getting quiet on a daily basis; shifting from control to surrender; living with “hands free and open”; the struggle of constantly proving your worth; shifting from a critical observer to a joyful participant in your life; reaching big goals through small steps; the gift of self-compassion; the empowering phrase “only love today”; the primary Soul Shift practices, including presence, finding true self-worth, letting go, authenticity, and self-forgiveness; and more.

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Paulina Porizkova: Aging Beautifully

Paulina Porizkova — March 14, 2023

We’re all beautiful in different ways. To see this beauty in everyone around you only takes a little kindness and patience. This is just one of the many deep insights you’ll hear in this podcast with author and former supermodel Paulina Porizkova. Here, Tami Simon speaks with Paulina about her book No Filter, and how “the world is so full of beauty on every level if you stop to look for it.”

Give a listen as Tami and Paulina talk about the trouble with the word “still”; our cultural bias about youth and beauty; opposing the marketing forces deciding the standards of beauty; self-acceptance and confidence that comes from within; Paulina’s hashtag, “#BetweenJLoAndBettyWhite”; a new vision for the modeling industry; internal beauty; vulnerability and connection; the freedom of acceptance; starting from zero and rebuilding your life with the wisdom of age; and more.

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Sará King: Liberatory Technology from the Future

— March 7, 2023

We live in an age of astounding technological wonders. Yet there is great fear and uncertainty around where it’s taking us all. The multitalented Dr. Sará King is a neuroscientist, education philosopher, public speaker, and codirector of Mobius, a nonprofit committed to the creation of “liberatory technology” as a countercurrent to the harm perpetuated by much of our modern technology.

In this thought-provoking podcast, Tami Simon speaks with Dr. King about her life and work, covering a variety of intriguing topics including the critical skill of self-compassion; intergenerational trauma and the relationship between the personal and the collective; how to shift to a freeing perspective on our suffering; the pain inflicted through the practice of othering; empowerment, awe, and curiosity; gratitude for our ancestors whose dreams become our reality; the metaphoric medicine bowl visualization; metta (or lovingkindness) practice; weaving together the multiplicity of selves within us; technology that contributes to our sense of interdependence and well-being; and more.

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The End of All-or-Nothing, Emergency Self-Care

Mara Glatzel — February 23, 2023

What message are you giving to yourself when you wait until you’re in crisis before you begin caring for yourself? I used to be deeply entrenched in this pattern. I’d care for myself just enough so that I could be productive again and then get back to work until my next care emergency. I’d crash from striving and producing without a thought to my needs and then stop just long enough to treat myself just kindly enough to nurse myself back to health so that I could resume my breakneck speed.

Those days were exhilarating because even in my burnout I felt so purposeful, high on how good I was at pushing my needs aside to tackle whatever needed tackling. Exceptionally good in a crisis, I felt born for running myself into the ground and then picking up the pieces just enough to get back to work. Even as this pattern started to break down for me, I could feel my ego attachment to it. I was good at getting things done. I was good at helping others. I was good at putting everyone else’s needs ahead of my own. I was good. I was good. I was good.

The tricky thing about this pattern is that needs will get met one way or another. They don’t just vanish or disappear when you ignore them. They become rowdier and rowdier, nipping at your heels as you try to outrun them. Your body is infinitely wise and makes more noise as your ache for care compounds itself. When you ignore your needs long enough, you will be forced to prioritize yourself by circumstance, illness, or burnout, bringing you abruptly to the crisis point of having to slow down.

But even in the face of that, attending to the need for sustenance can sometimes still feel impossible if you are exhausted from a lifetime of holding it all together. While the need for sustenance might seem to come before rest, [in my book Needy] I ordered these chapters deliberately [“Rest” coming before “Sustenance”] because having the energy to start asking big questions about what you need requires energy too. You’re crumbling beneath the weight of your conditioned expectations for yourself and others, and you judge yourself for not being about to do it all without a thought for the energetic capacity necessary to prioritize joy, pleasure, or satiety.

You might think, Well if it’s right, it should feel good or it should be easy. But tending to your needs can be almost boring, and having the capacity to investigate the larger picture of what you are hungry for requires energy. It requires stamina and self-awareness to develop a healthy relationship with yourself after being in a dysfunctional relationship—one that’s chaotic, intense, familiar, thrilling, and compelling even when you know there is no way it will all work out in the long run. After a dramatic relationship like that, a relationship in which you are respectful of each other, loyal, trustworthy, and committed to each other can feel boring—but that kind of steadfast love heals and rebuilds a steady foundation of trust. The same is true for your relationship with yourself.

Self-love so often isn’t a flash-in-the-pan,
Instagram-worthy, wait-until-the-moment
is-perfect-and-the-stars-align kind of love.

It’s about showing up for yourself each and every day and doing what needs to be done. Maybe that’s resting. Maybe that’s calling your lawyer. Maybe that’s dealing with the window that is leaking and the moldy floorboards. Taking care of yourself is showing up for your relationship with yourself each day, asking what needs to be done and doing that to the best of your abilities.

It can be mundane, but as you begin making these shifts for your own sustenance, you might find yourself softening into a rhythm and routine of caring for yourself this way.

There is a deliciousness in knowing you will be there when you need yourself. There is a sense of safety in the self-trust you build each time you choose not to abandon yourself. This work can be messy but also joyful, silly, sexy, creative, and playful. You might find yourself enjoying the celebration of infusing pleasure and sovereignty where there was none before.

And with time, you might realize that the purpose of your life is not to be good, productive, or approved by others. The purpose of your life is for YOU to live it. For you to take up space in your own thoughts and actions. For you to tend to your needs, devoting yourself to your own wholeness each and every day. For you to contribute to the world in the way that only you can. For you to love and be loved. For you to play. For your utter enjoyment and wholehearted pleasure. The purpose of your life is not to be nice and polite. It is for living—messily, humanly, in whatever way you feel is good and right for you.

Excerpted from Needy: How to Advocate for Your Needs and Claim Your Sovereignty by Mara Glatzel.

Category: Self-Compassion

Give Yourself Permission to Take Up Space

Mara Glatzel: What Do You Need?

Rachel Macy Stafford: The Soul Shift to What Really Ma...

Paulina Porizkova: Aging Beautifully

Sará King: Liberatory Technology from the Future

The End of All-or-Nothing, Emergency Self-Care

Self-love so often isn’t a flash-in-the-pan,
Instagram-worthy, wait-until-the-moment
is-perfect-and-the-stars-align kind of love.

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Category: Self-Compassion

Give Yourself Permission to Take Up Space

Mara Glatzel: What Do You Need?

Rachel Macy Stafford: The Soul Shift to What Really Ma...

Paulina Porizkova: Aging Beautifully

Sará King: Liberatory Technology from the Future

The End of All-or-Nothing, Emergency Self-Care

Self-love so often isn’t a flash-in-the-pan,Instagram-worthy, wait-until-the-momentis-perfect-and-the-stars-align kind of love.

Categories

Menu

Listen to Sounds True playlists on

Connect With Us

Self-love so often isn’t a flash-in-the-pan,
Instagram-worthy, wait-until-the-moment
is-perfect-and-the-stars-align kind of love.