Rousing Openheartedness

    —
October 27, 2015

Rousing Openheartedness

Susan Piver October 27, 2015

Susan Piver is a Buddhist teacher and the New York Times bestselling author of books such as How Not to be Afraid of Your Own Life. Susan is one of the contributors to the Sounds True anthology Darkness Before Dawn: Redefining the Journey Through Depression. In this episode of Insights at the Edge, Susan and Tami Simon discuss depression as a catalyst for unexpected change, and how this “strange friend” can help us to become more compassionate. They talk about meditation as a path to opening the heart, and why some people instinctively resist the meditator’s cushion. Finally, Tami and Susan speak on what it means to live each day with bravery. (63 minutes)

Author Info for Susan Piver Coming Soon

600 Podcasts and Counting…

Subscribe to Insights at the Edge to hear all of Tami’s interviews (transcripts available too!), featuring Eckhart Tolle, Caroline Myss, Tara Brach, Jack Kornfield, Adyashanti, and many more.

Meet Your Host: Tami Simon

Founded Sounds True in 1985 as a multimedia publishing house with a mission to disseminate spiritual wisdom. She hosts a popular weekly podcast called Insights at the Edge, where she has interviewed many of today's leading teachers. Tami lives with her wife, Julie M. Kramer, and their two spoodles, Rasberry and Bula, in Boulder, Colorado.

Photo © Jason Elias

Also By Author

Rousing Openheartedness

Susan Piver is a Buddhist teacher and the New York Times bestselling author of books such as How Not to be Afraid of Your Own Life. Susan is one of the contributors to the Sounds True anthology Darkness Before Dawn: Redefining the Journey Through Depression. In this episode of Insights at the Edge, Susan and Tami Simon discuss depression as a catalyst for unexpected change, and how this “strange friend” can help us to become more compassionate. They talk about meditation as a path to opening the heart, and why some people instinctively resist the meditator’s cushion. Finally, Tami and Susan speak on what it means to live each day with bravery. (63 minutes)

You Might Also Enjoy

Take Your Inner Child on Playdates

Have you ever been ice-skating before? It sounds like a fun winter activity (especially if you enjoy the cold, like I do), but it can be frustrating and even downright scary if you’re new to it.

Picture this: I took my nephew ice-skating for the first time, full of excitement to see him experience some joy. At twelve years of age, he was already taller than me and had size thirteen feet thanks to his six-foot-eight-inch-tall dad (my brother). The biggest rental skates they had came with worn-out laces rather than the secure plastic bindings all of the other skates had. I could see that they were a little loose around the ankle, but we tied them as best we could and hit the ice.

If you’ve ever seen a newborn deer figuring out how to walk for the first time, you can picture my nephew’s first time on ice skates. His ankles kept knocking in, and he was reaching to hold onto anything for dear life as he wobbled around the perimeter of the rink. It was difficult to watch, not because it was embarrassing, but because I know how hard he is on himself when he’s not immediately good at new things. I wanted to see him having fun, and instead I saw him frustrated and discouraged as all he could do was attempt to remain vertical.

I figured it couldn’t get worse, so I suggested that we trade in his skates for a smaller pair with the more secure plastic buckles to see if that made any difference. He went along with it, probably just to humor me, and we stuffed his feet into some size twelves and made sure his ankle support was good as could be. When I tell you it was a night and day difference, I’m not exaggerating. Suddenly he was speeding around the ice like a pro, lapping past me and his sisters with the biggest smile on his face. He circled the rink over and over again; as his confidence grew, so did his joy, and he even began to try tricks and spins. All he had needed was one little adjustment to his foundation, and he suddenly felt safe enough to have fun.

Here’s the thing: most of us go around in our lives on rickety old skates with worn-out laces. When your only focus is doing your best to remain upright, there’s not much room for joy or play. The big shame in that is that play often is the medicine we most need.

In my experience, the crux of inner child work is reconnecting to the part of you who knows how to play. Sometimes you may first need to make some adjustments that allow you to feel safe enough to play, like practicing nervous system regulation and self-soothing. Once you’ve done that, though, your goal is to invite in as much play as possible. And not adult versions of play that are really just a facade for dissociative behaviors, but real, childlike wonder.

Invite in curiosity and awe and silliness and uninhibited joy. Start by returning to the things you loved to do when you were a kid. Maybe that means setting aside time each weekend for arts and crafts. Maybe it means participating in physical activities that feel like play, such as dancing, swimming, sports, or jumping on a trampoline. Maybe it just means giving yourself permission to skip while you walk or sing while you drive.

The point is, when you bring those younger versions of you into your present-day life, you not only have more fun, but you also experience more healing. We were never meant to lose touch with our inner child. Yes, it’s important to learn how to be self-sufficient and responsible, and aging is inevitable. But it’s equally important not to take yourself too seriously along the way.

Try This

Your homework is to set regular playdates with your inner child. Do things that sound like fun, even if they don’t make logical sense. Allow yourself to be as carefree and openhearted as possible, without judging the things that bring you joy. The sillier it feels, the more on point you likely are. Here are some examples to consider:

  • Take an afternoon off of work and go to an amusement park.
  • Schedule an evening of watching your favorite childhood movies.
  • Spend the weekend out in nature, frolicking with your imagination.
  • Try something brand new, like rock climbing or ice-skating, to tap into that feeling of beginner’s mind.

Play is an important part of our overall well-being. Consistently making time to get into that creative flow state will help you deepen your relationship with your inner child . . . and your adult self. I suggest checking in at least once per month, if not weekly, to see where you can fit more play into your life.

Excerpted from Choose Your Self: How to Embrace Being Single, Heal Core Wounds, and Build a Life You Love.

Megan Sherer


Megan Sherer is a certified somatic therapist and licensed hypnotherapist whose mission is to help others build healthy and fulfilling relationships, starting with self. She hosts the Well, Then podcast and founded the women’s therapy app The Self Care Space. For more, visit megansherer.com.

Choose Your Self

Learn More
Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Bookshop | Sounds True

Vital Emotions at Work: An excerpt from Power of Emoti...

Emotions are Vital Aspects of Thinking, Acting, and Working

People once believed that emotions were the opposite of rationality, or that they were lower than or inferior to our allegedly logical processes. But decades of research on emotions and the brain have overturned those outdated beliefs, and we understand now that emotions are indispensable parts of rationality, logic, and consciousness itself. In fact, emotions contain their own internal logic, and they help us orient ourselves successfully within our social environments. Emotions help us attach meaning to data, they help us understand ourselves and others, and they help us identify problems and opportunities. Emotions don’t get in the way of rationality; they lead the way, because they’re vital to everything we think and everything we do. Emotions aren’t the problem; they’re pointing to the problem, and they’re trying to bring us the precise intelligence and energy we need to deal with the problem.

In [The Power of Emotions at Work], we’ll learn how to listen to emotions as uniquely intelligent carriers of information, and how to build healthy and effective social and emotional environments at work – not by ignoring or silencing emotions (you can’t), but by listening to them closely, learning their language, and creating a communal set of emotional skills that everyone can rely on. This work is not difficult at all, but it can be unusual in an environment that wrongly treats emotions as soft, irrational, or unprofessional.

The serious problems we’ve baked into the workplace don’t come from any specific management style or ideology, so I won’t focus on managers or leaders as if they’re uniquely powerful or uniquely to blame. These problems also aren’t limited to specific occupations or income brackets (though low-wage work is regularly dehumanizing and hazardous); these are long-term, widespread problems based on a failed workplace model – and on an outdated social and emotional approach that does not support (or in many cases, even comprehend) human relationships and human needs.

This book is the result of decades of exploration and study into how the workplace got to be so unworkable, plus decades of experience in how to access the existing genius in people’s emotional responses (in surprisingly simple ways once you understand how emotions and empathy work). With the help of the genius in our emotions, we can create emotionally well-regulated and worthwhile places for all of us to earn our living and spend our lives.

Luckily, we don’t have to do anything special to welcome emotions into the workplace, or even to make room for them, because emotions are and always have been in the workplace. They’re in the responses people have to workplace abuses; they’re in disengaged workers; they’re in workers seeking other jobs while on the job; they’re in workers who rightly avoid communicating upward about serious problems; they’re in low-wage workers who learn how to survive in hellscapes like call centers, fast-food restaurants, gig work, and robot-like warehouse jobs; they’re in living-wage workers who tolerate unhealthy workplaces because they can’t afford to leave their health insurance behind; and they’re in high-wage workers who may have to bow down to their superiors and compete with their colleagues to be seen as “winners” – and whose experiences of workplace abuse may not be taken seriously because they make so much money and therefore have no right to complain.

We can also see the emotions in our responses to workplace successes; in our healthy working relationships; in the ways we gather together to solve problems; in the ways empathic workers and leaders empower everyone around them; in the ways our colleagues support us when we’re struggling; in the ways businesses step up in times of loss; in the ways we create open communication and humane workflows; in the ways we teach each other; in the benefits, support, flexibility, and living wages we provide for our workers; in the honest sharing of business difficulties or financial losses; and in the laughter we share on great days and rotten days.

Emotions are everywhere in the workplace because emotions are a central feature of human nature. They aren’t removable, and in fact, trying to remove them is a huge part of what created the failed workplace model we have today. Emotions are crucial to everything we do and to every aspect of our work; therefore, we’ll learn how to listen to emotions, work with them, and respect their intelligence. And in so doing, we’ll build a better workplace – and a better world – from the ground up.

Karla McLaren, M.Ed.


Karla McLaren, M.Ed., is an award-winning author, social science researcher, and empathy innovator. Explore her books and audios on the power of emotion and creativity here.


This is part of a Conscious Business series brought to you by The Inner MBA®. You can learn more about the program at Innermbaprogram.com

Bringing Your Soul Force to Work: Why Being Yourself C...

Each of us has a somewhat mysterious inner power that could be called a “soul force.” In my experience, our soul force feels unstoppable, and it carries with it our uniqueness and what we care the most about. You could say it is the most essential part of us, that which we cannot be “talked out of,” that which demands expression.

Many people believe that this soul force, if it even exists, is not necessarily related to our work in the world. I am proposing just the opposite: that if we are to find our deepest fulfillment at work and achieve the highest potential in our career, in whatever field that might be, we need to engage and unleash this power.

What does it feel like to “work from our soul”? In my experience, there is a sense of drawing on a source of pure potential that is self-renewing and feels electrically charged. I don’t feel like I am working from a thin and limited layer of thoughts or strategy, but instead, there is a sense of being tapped into a charged energetic system of support and creativity.

Your Belly, Heart, and Head

For many years, I practiced somatic meditation, a type of meditation where we practice (among other things) inhabiting the inner space of the body and developing what’s known as interoception (being aware of internal bodily sensations). One of the things I discovered was the felt experience of three energy centers—the belly, heart, and head—that are referenced in many different systems of spiritual practice, and how these three centers can help us in engaging our soul force at work.

This might sound esoteric, but I actually think these three inner energy centers (called the “three brains” or “tan tiens” in Chinese medicine or “elixir fields” in certain types of qigong) are very discoverable and accessible to people who start to turn their attention inward.

To say more, when our belly center is open and energy is flowing through it in an unimpeded way, we can feel a sense of grounded power. We feel anchored and sense that we can weather the storms of life like a strong tree that is rooted deeply in the earth.

When our heart center is open, we can feel a sense of love streaming from us in every direction. This stream carries with it our care and concern for others. You could even say that we sense a stream of well wishes pouring out from our heart. Our work becomes imbued with a motivation to be of service to others and our world.

And when the center of our head is open, energy and information flow in through the top of our head in a way that often feels, at least in my experience, quite mysterious. New ideas come to us that can feel sparkly, such that even we are surprised by what is occurring to us. We become endlessly innovative in our work.

The Power of Letting Go

What does it take to awaken the intelligence of these three “inner brains” and allow the full power of our soul force to stream through these three energy centers? In my experience, what is required is not what you might expect. We don’t need to add anything to us. What is needed is a whole lot of letting go.

What are we letting go of? All of the ways we block ourselves, all of the ways we hold back. We are letting go of all of the ways we seek approval and are twisted up trying to appeal to others to be liked by them, the many ways we try to find acceptance and success via the unspoken and sometimes spoken rules of the status quo. We let go of twisting ourselves to fit a norm that doesn’t fit the truth of who we are. We let go of the mental construct of who we are so we can be the unique expression of the truth of who we are.

One year at Sounds True, we decided to give T-shirts out to the staff as part of our holiday gifting. Not a particularly original idea, but something we thought people would like. And our creative director put this slogan on the T-shirt: “Sounds True: Here for the Weird.” And I loved it.

Now, not everyone likes the word “weird”but I do. A chapter was once written about me for a book on bringing your whole self to work, and the authors called it “Tami Simon: Flying Her Freak Flag.” I didn’t mind the use of the word “freak” either. The reason is that these are just words in popular culture that mean someone is willing to be themselves in all of their uniqueness and eccentricities. And that courage to step forward and be a brave truth-teller is something that I value.

Recently, I was in a discussion with a spiritual teacher about how interesting it is that we don’t become a blob of paste-like oneness when we drop deeply into what some people refer to as the “field of being,” the boundless, awake awareness that we share. Instead, we often become more uniquely expressive and can even appear a bit quirky. He shared his observation that it is our ego-construct, the veneer of “I’ve got it together,” that keeps us looking like copycats of others. When we allow that ego construct to lose its presentational grip, and perhaps even drop away, we make room for the emergence of our soul force, the innermost part of ourselves, to shine forth. We liberate our own “weird.”

As a leader of an organization, one of the things I have noticed is that when I present and speak from this innermost place without a lot of self-censorship, it naturally invites others to do the same. It is as if a “permission field” has been established. The company founder is telling it like it is—talking about what she learned in therapy this week, or something that occurred when talking with her wife (of the same sex), or a discovery that came through a sleepless night—and this sets up a new norm. This organization is actually a place where I don’t need to wear a mask at work; my truth-telling and uniqueness are welcome here. And this liberates a tremendous amount of energy and, dare I say, “soul power.”

What’s Your Genius Zone?

Several years ago, as the CEO at Sounds True, I found myself having difficulty figuring out how to best structure our organization (as our direct-to-consumer digital business began to grow rapidly with a different set of infrastructure needs from our traditional publishing business). I decided to hire an organizational consultant, Lex Sisney, the founder of Organizational Physics, whose expertise is helping midsize companies design to scale.

To my surprise, Lex started his assessment of Sounds True’s structural needs by having me do a deep-dive review of whether or not I was working in what he calls one’s “genius zone.” As I have come to understand Lex’s approach, part of what he believes contributes to organizational flourishing (and the ability to scale) is when people are in job functions that make the best use of their natural capacities and passions.

In a way, this seems utterly obvious. Like any good sporting team, you want people in the positions where they have the most natural affinity and talent. And when you have a whole team of people working in their genius zones, you have a much greater likelihood of having a winning team.

And yet as a founder, I have always had the attitude of “I will do whatever it takes. This isn’t about being in a ‘genius zone’; this is about getting done what needs to be done. All work is not enjoyable anyway, and just buck up and do the next thing needed.” This sounds very dutiful, and it is, but it is not the stance that creates the most high-functioning team, nor the most joy, nor the most soul engagement at work.

About a year and a half ago, I did an exercise where I went through my calendar for several weeks in a row and numbered every scheduled meeting on a 1-to-10 scale in terms of how excited I was for the meeting to take place. A very obvious pattern emerged: about half of the meetings in my calendar received the number 2 or 3, and about half of the meetings were an 8 or a 9 or even a 10.

The events in the calendar that received a high score related to interviews I was hosting, new partnerships that were being formed, and working directly with authors on new projects. The meetings that received a low score had to do with the business’s strategic execution in terms of finance, operations, and the coordination of various departments. This simple exercise presented a clear picture: I needed to shift my role and pass on a whole set of responsibilities so I could be free to focus on and expand the parts of my work that were exciting to me.

We have this notion that we need to trade what we really care about in order to make money. In a conversation with Rha Goddess, author of the book The Calling, I asked her about this. She said something to the effect of, “Why wouldn’t you earn the most money in your career doing what you are uniquely good at, what you excel at, what you uniquely have the ability to contribute?”

Her words landed. What if our greatest career achievement can only come from working in our area of natural genius, from letting go of all the ways we hold ourselves back and bringing our full soul force to work?

I believe that when we do, we find fulfillment at work. And also in life. And then, when our days come to an end, we find ourselves at peace, hands open and empty. We gave away all that we were given.

In support of your journey,

Tami Simon

Tami Simon

Tami Simon is the founder of Sounds True and the Sounds True Foundation, and cofounder of the Inner MBA online immersion learning program and conscious business community created in partnership with LinkedIn and Wisdom 2.0.

The Inner MBA program connects a global community from more than 90 countries. It includes teachings from conscious business leaders, influential CEOs, spiritual luminaries, and faculty from leading universities. Together, we engage in the inner work of growth and transformation, empowering ourselves and our organizations to contribute powerfully to our collective good.

>
Share via
Copy link
Powered by Social Snap