Embracing Pleasure, Fractal Responsibility, and the Power of Our Imagination

adrienne maree brown is a social justice facilitator and the bestselling author of Pleasure Activism: The Politics of Feeling Good; Emergent Strategy: Shaping Change, Changing Worlds; and We Will Not Cancel Us: And Other Dreams of Transformative Justice. She cohosts the How to Survive the End of the World and Octavia’s Parables podcasts. In this episode of Insights at the Edge (which first aired as part of our Walking Together series), Tami Simon speaks with adrienne about the concept of “fractal responsibility” and how the world changes as we change ourselves; engaging in “critical relationships” and finding the courage to hold ourselves accountable; cultivating 1,000 percent honesty and trust; figuring out your right work—or what adrienne calls “your most elegant next step”; pleasure activism and “reclaiming your erotic yes”; holding the grief and suffering that seem beyond our capacity; and imagining a future that works for the majority of us.

Embracing Pleasure, Fractal Responsibility, and the Po...

Giovanni Dienstmann: Activating Your Aspirational Iden...

What would you attempt if you knew you couldn’t fail? Most of us didn’t grow up in a family that was unfailingly supportive. Instead, as life coach and author Giovanni Dienstmann explains, “We were conditioned to believe certain things about ourselves and about life that are just not helpful.” In this podcast, Tami Simon speaks with Giovanni about his new book, Wise Confidence, and how we can each create our own “aspirational identity”—the person you want to be, how you want to see yourself and the world, and how you want to operate.

Give a listen to their inspiring conversation about: mindful self-discipline; making sacrifices; self-doubt and arrogance—two traps of the ego; the five elements of wise confidence; the conviction of self-belief; the journey from a conditioned identity to an aspirational identity; goal-oriented spiritual lineages (and those that aren’t); living with purpose; recognizing the stories we tell ourselves as the first step in transcending our conditioning; practicing courage; finding your three “power words”; choosing the personal qualities you most want to develop; imposter syndrome; the ceiling fan metaphor; four core tools—mindset, witnessing, imagination, and embodiment; the “never zero” commitment, and how commitment differs from motivation; self-love and self-compassion; energizing your thoughts; living in a multilayered universe; knowing your “bigger why”; and much more.

Note: This episode originally aired on Sounds True One, where these special episodes of Insights at the Edge are available to watch live on video and with exclusive access to Q&As with our guests. Learn more at join.soundstrue.com.

Emily Nagoski, PhD: Pleasure Is the Measure: How to Ha...

Emily Nagoski — October 8, 2024

Why is it so hard to talk about sex? How can we be a better friend and lover for our partner? What’s the secret to maintaining “the magic” that first brought us together? Acclaimed sex educator and New York Times bestselling author Emily Nagoski views these questions through a unique lens that centers pleasure—not desire—in her counseling work with struggling couples.

In this podcast, Tami Simon speaks with Emily about the empowering insights in her newest book, Come Together: The Science (and Art!) of Creating Lasting Sexual Connections. Listen now to their conversation on: breaking free from the desire imperative; the groundbreaking work of Helen Singer Kaplan; the dual control model of sexual response and the analogy of brakes and accelerators; “turning on the ons and turning off the offs”; reducing your stressors as a key aspect of centering pleasure in your life; friendship and admiration: two essentials for long-term relationships; trust, vulnerability, and emotional accessibility; creativity, play, and freedom; following your own rules; talking about sex; the fear of rejection; how “good communication gets you good sex; great communication gets you great sex”; incompatibility; the interplay of attraction and self-worth; body acceptance; and more.

Elizabeth Earnshaw: ‘Til Stress Do Us Part

What if the problem in your relationship isn’t you or your partner but the mountain of stress you’re both dealing with? It’s a no-brainer to say that too much stress kills intimacy, but what do we really mean when we say “stress”? And what can we actually do about it? In this podcast, Tami Simon speaks with couples therapist and author Elizabeth Earnshaw about her new book, ’Til Stress Do Us Part: How to Heal the #1 Issue in Our Relationships.

Give a listen for a wealth of actionable insights and wise approaches to navigate and manage the stressors in your relationship, including how to comfort a partner under stress; the art of nervous system co-regulation; awareness: the prerequisite for change; learning the signs of dysregulation and how to self-soothe; Gottman’s “Four Horsemen”: criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling, and contempt; stress as a physiological cycle; step one: identify your own stressors; the narrative of a gap between who you are and who you want to be; intentional sacrifice; making structural changes that make life less stressful; discernment around what we can and cannot control; and more.