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The Trauma Response is Never Wrong

We have been tricked to believe that the trauma response is a sign of weakness and disorder. What science shows us is that the trauma response is in fact a sign of strength and proof of an inherent human drive to survive. We need society to catch up with science, and fast. We are no longer living in an era where we can assume that trauma impacts a minority of the population. Trauma impacts us all. This has always been true, but we can no longer pretend otherwise.

Unbroken is a book about the miracle of the trauma response, the importance of acceptance and self-compassion, and the transformative healing potential that lies within us all. Drawing on my experience as a trauma researcher, coach, as well as my own personal journey of healing, this book offers a new perspective on trauma that emphasizes the wisdom of the body and the resilience of the human spirit.

If you’re struggling with the after-effects of trauma, Unbroken can help you understand your experience in a new light. You’ll learn how trauma impacts the brain, the body, and the spirit, and how you can use this knowledge to start your journey of healing. You’ll discover practical tools and strategies for managing trauma triggers, regulating your emotions, and cultivating self-compassion. Most importantly, you’ll learn that the trauma response is never wrong – it’s a natural and adaptive response to a difficult situation.

One of the most important lessons of Unbroken is that the trauma response is never wrong. This means that even if you’re struggling with symptoms like anxiety, depression, or dissociation, your body is doing exactly what it needs to do to protect you. By embracing this truth, you can start to shift from a place of shame and self-blame to a place of self-compassion and empowerment. The book is chock full of tools that will help you understand and appreciate your trauma response and how to intervene when that response is tripped off unnecessarily. I can’t wait for you to dig in and I can’t wait to hear how this book changes you. It certainly changed me.

MaryCatherine McDonald, PhD, is a research professor and life coach who specializes in the psychology and philosophy of trauma. She has been researching, lecturing, and publishing on the neuroscience, psychology, and lived experience of trauma since the beginning of her PhD in 2009. She’s published two academic books and many research papers, and she is the creator of a trauma-based curriculum designed to serve previously incarcerated folks and veterans

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Being Mindful of Not Being Mindful

Modern life is chock-full of habits of mind that get in the way of mindfulness. Be on the lookout for them in your own life. Steering clear of them will be part of practicing mindfulness.

Here are some of the most common things that pull people out of mindfulness:

  • Thinking about the past (literally taking you out of the moment)
  • Thinking about the future (ditto)
  • Multitasking
  • Judging, analyzing, criticizing, or evaluating
  • Attaching to thoughts or observations
  • Pushing away thoughts or observations
  • Having a lack of intention
  • Having a lack of compassion
  • Being in denial

 

WISE MIND LIVING PRACTICE

Catch Yourself Being Judge-y

Judgment is one of the most common ways to pull yourself out of mindfulness. Whether you are judging your experience as good, bad, or ugly, it’s an obstacle to be fully present in the moment. And you do it all the time. Everyone does. The way to do it less — the way to not let judging interfere with your ability to be mindful — is to increase your awareness of when you are judging.

Try spending a few days noticing all the judgments you make throughout the day. About anything and everything: “What the hell is that lady wearing?” “Yuck, this food is gross!” “I should not be the one handling this!” Any time you catch yourself playing Judge Judy, notice it, label it as a judgment, and resist the temptation to judge yourself for being judgmental. Then try to tell yourself the same story but with neutral (nonjudgmental) language: “Her shirt is bright.” “Oh, that is bitter.” “I have a task that I do not like.” With enough practice, you’ll begin to make that kind of switch automatically — in mindfulness practice as well as in life.

 

Looking for more great reads?

 

Excerpted from Wise Mind Living by Erin Olivo

Erin Olivo, PhD, MHD, is a licensed clinical psychologist and an assistant clinical professor of medical psychology at Columbia University. She has a psychotherapy practice in New York City. See erinolivo.com.

Led by Spirit

Alice Walker is a poet, essayist, and New York Times-bestselling author who has won both the Pulitzer Prize and National Book Award. With Sounds True, Alice has released the audio program My Life As My Self, which vividly recounts her personal, professional, and spiritual journeys. In this episode of Insights at the Edge, Alice and Tami Simon speak on what it means to step into the line of fire and receive criticism for what one believes. In this vein, Alice explains her role as an activist in locations such as Gaza and the Congo—and how standing up for one’s principles brings an ineffable lightness to the heart. Finally, Alice and Tami discuss stepping into the role of a societal elder and why it is imperative that we reconnect with the whole of the Earth. (55 minutes)

Acharya Shunya: An Infinity Mindset and its Implicatio...

Acharya Shunya is a renowned expert in Ayurvedic lifestyle medicine and the founder of Vedika Global, a school of Ayurvedic study based in California. With Sounds True, she has released the new book Ayurveda Lifestyle Wisdom: A Complete Prescription to Optimize Your Health, Prevent Disease, and Live with Vitality and Joy. In this episode of Insights at the Edge, Tami Simon speaks to Shunya about the Ayurvedic legacy she teaches and embodies—including its baseline concepts, history, and modern attitudes. Tami and Shunya also talk about Ayurveda’s repudiation of the concept of health as a commodity. Finally, Shunya discusses the universality of Vedic teachings and how an “infinity mindset” is a necessary cure for the foundational problem of hopelessness. (69 minutes)

Miranda Macpherson: The Transforming Power of Ego Rela...

Miranda Macpherson is an international spiritual teacher who founded the OneSpirit Interfaith Foundation in London and currently leads the Living Grace community of California. With Sounds True, she’s published the book The Way of Grace and the audio series Meditations on Boundless Love. In this episode of Insights at the Edge, Tami Simon speaks with Miranda about taking a more feminine approach to spiritual seeking and why that involves creating an atmosphere of unconditional love. Miranda explains “ego relaxation,” her unique process of letting go of all the qualities that maintain the illusion of being separate from the rest of existence. Considering the roles of trust and vulnerability on the spiritual path, Tami and Miranda discuss what it means to be a channeler of grace. Finally, Miranda leads the audience in a guided practice for discovering the mountainous presence already available in each moment. (60 minutes)

Tami’s Takeaway
Miranda began the podcast in the same way that she begins her in-person teachings, immersing us in a palpable atmosphere of love and unconditional acceptance. As soon as she pointed to this, it was like the sun came out in the small, dark studio room where our conversation was recorded. Miranda likens “ego relaxation”—the releasing of our fixations, fears, and need to be in control—to hardened ice melting in the light of love and acceptance. My takeaway: a commitment to remembering that this warm light is always here and always available.

Jordan Davidson: So When Are You Having Kids?

For anyone deciding whether or not to become a parent, Jordan Davidson asks you to be sure to consider these questions: What have you been taught about having children? What have you been taught about what it means to be a successful adult and what makes a good life? In this podcast, Tami Simon speaks with the author of the new book So When Are You Having Kids: The Definitive Guide for Those Who Aren’t Sure If, When, or How They Want to Become Parents about societal pressures, fertility challenges, realistic expectations for new parents, and much more. 

Give a listen as Tami and Jordan discuss: the privilege of deciding to become a parent; the concept of pronatalism; being “child free” versus “childless”; the fear of regret; making the decision that’s best for you; the loss of one’s self and the choice to “become secondary”; adoption not as finding children for adults, but adults for children; climate change, global instability, and other factors that today’s would-be parents grapple with; the problem with pros and cons lists; the practice of envisioning parenthood; and more.

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