Tehya Sky is an author and metaphysical guide who focuses on the integration of our physical humanity and our innate divinity. With Sounds True, Sky has published the book A Ceremony Called Life: When Your Morning Coffee Is as Sacred as Holy Water. In this episode of Insights at the Edge, Tami Simon and Sky speak on how embracing our vulnerability leads to catharsis and personal revelation. Sky discusses her own journey to become an up-and-coming teacher, including the process of “deconditioning” she went through in order to step fully onto the spiritual path. Finally, Tami and Sky consider misconceptions of the path and how achieving a silent mind is not necessarily required for greater spiritual evolution. (63 minutes)
Janine Shepherd is an author, motivational speaker, and former Olympic-level skier whose work draws upon an incredible journey of personal healing. She details that journey—from the car accident that broke her spine through intense rehabilitation and beyond—in the Sounds True book Defiant: A Broken Body Is Not a Broken Person. In this episode of Insights at the Edge, Tami Simon and Janine talk about the active choice to be alive and the power in knowing that decision. They speak on what it means to be truly resilient, and how one can experience fear without being afraid of it. Finally, Janine explains the realization that she is more than just a body and how that has reshaped her view of death and dying. (55 minutes)
Gretchen Rubin is the New York Times bestselling author of The Happiness Project and Better Than Before. She hosts the immensely popular weekly podcast Happier with Gretchen Rubin. In this episode of Insights at the Edge, Tami Simon talks with Gretchen about the principles detailed in her newest book, The Four Tendencies. They speak on how to discover which of the book’s four archetypes you embody—whether you’re an Upholder, Rebel, Questioner, or Obliger—as well as the challenges and advantages each type faces. Gretchen and Tami also discuss what it takes to start changing an entrenched habit. Finally, Gretchen explains why it’s so important that you keep personal spaces uncluttered. (61 minutes)
Can relishing the past help us create a better future? If we want to move ahead, how does going back support us? Could it be that thinking about the past is inseparable from thinking about the future? These are the questions Dr. Clay Routledge explores in his new book, Past Forward.
In this fascinating and very cool podcast, Tami Simon and Clay consider how a walk down memory lane can lead you to a brighter tomorrow, discussing: agency, action, and the power of a “meaning mindset”; building a culture of agency; existential psychology; the subjective experience of time and the concept of “temporal consciousness”; why it’s important to savor the moment; the characteristics of nostalgia; working with difficult or bittersweet memories; how creativity is facilitated by a sense of security; journaling, playlists, scrapbooks, cooking, and other practical approaches to cultivate nostalgia and its benefits; the “reminiscence bump” and how nostalgia helps us feel younger; becoming our true selves; nostalgia around objects and personal possessions; and more.
A doctor of Chinese medicine who was a famous bonesetter in China once said to me with a heavy accent, “Here, you [meaning Americans] don’t like to feel pain. You don’t like to suffer.” He said this as he wrung my neck as one would a chicken’s, snapping it back and forth in a way I had never experienced. I screamed as if he were breaking my bones.
For a month prior, I hadn’t been able to move my head to the left or right. My left arm was nearly immobile. I had just started a new job that probably should have ended the moment my body locked up. I went for acupuncture, then pain pills; used ice and hot water bottles. I went to medical doctors, and they X-rayed the area and gave me more pills and a brace to keep my head still—the kind used for whiplash. I later tried one of the best chiropractors in the city, and she gave me the number of a neurosurgeon, thinking I had a herniated disk and would need surgery. I did not seek out the surgeon and stayed in pain for weeks. Finally, a friend from my job gave me the number of her doctor, the famous bonesetter mentioned above. I called him at 10:00 pm that night. That’s how much pain I was in. To my surprise, he answered the phone. He said, “Come in. I wait for you.”
I said, “Now?”
“Yes!” he said. “You have pain, come now.”
Wow, I thought. Now that’s a healer. It didn’t matter that it was the middle of the night.
My partner at the time drove me across the Bay Bridge to San Francisco, and I met my friend from work at the healer’s office. She had come to translate from Mandarin to English. The place was tiny, with photos on the wall of city dignitaries and other famous people who were his clients.
“Hi.” The bonesetter smiled like a boy. “I’m Dr. Fu.”
I sat down in his small room and showed him my X-ray. He threw it on the floor without looking at it. He took the brace off my neck and threw that on the floor, too, right next to the X-ray. Then he twisted me into a pretzel. I howled, yelped, screamed, and hollered.
All of it. No wonder he had me come when no other patients were there. He told me to breathe, and I did my best. Suddenly, at the peak of the pain, I felt my muscles release in my neck, shoulders, and back. It was in fact a miracle to me. I had suffered so long.
I carried my brace and X-ray out in my hands. It was as if I had never been in pain or unable to move. The night sky filled with stars made me feel like I was on another planet. I was in bliss. When I returned to work, everyone was shocked. Was it a miracle, or was it the ability to withstand a greater amount pain to be free of the pain? I would have never imagined that I needed to go deeper into the pain, deeper into the darkness of it. All I had wanted was out.
We are averse to pain and suffering and understandably so, given our American sensibility. We have access to a large market of remedies, products, spiritual paths, and, yes, gateways to the freedom from suffering. I wonder how many times we have diverted our own freedom when we have discovered there is more pain, more trouble, more darkness ahead and we keep adding on remedies. What is the mindset, along with fear and terror, that causes us to avoid our suffering rather than go deeper into seeing what is there? Yes, I should have quit that job on the spot when the pain started, even though I had been there for only a few weeks. I didn’t know at the time, but the pain that was deep inside was because I wanted something different for my life than the job I had accepted. The pain was my impatience, and it was at the same time physical pain in real time. I didn’t wait to allow that“something different” to be revealed in the darkness.
Since all paths—religious, spiritual, or without name—intersect in the place of darkness, darkness is the place where the mind is forced to detach itself from whatever it has grabbed onto in life. And in that nothingness, in that dark place, we awaken.
What of darkness terrorizes us so that we run from it, rather than go deeper into it? How can we bear dark times, or, more explicitly, horrifying times, with the skill of an awakened one? Misery, struggle, and sorrow are not the sole intentions of this life. Yet we can respect our interrelationship with everything in the world, including the suffering in, around, and between us. Is there a way to live in unsettling times that we have forgotten?
Excerpted from Opening to Darkness: Eight Gateways for Being with the Absence of Light in Unsettling Times by Zenju Earthlyn Manuel.
Osho Zenju Earthlyn Manuel, PhD, is an author, poet, ordained Zen Buddhist priest, teacher, and artist, whose diverse background, education, and experience all provide a unique integral and cultural perspective within the space of religion and spirituality. She is the author of The Shamanic Bones of Zen, The Way of Tenderness, The Deepest Peace, and more. Manuel is a native of California and now resides in New Mexico. Learn more at zenju.org.
Ceremonies for honoring the departed are crucial parts of our lives, but few people know where our traditional practices come from—and what they reveal about our history, culture, and beliefs about death. In today’s podcast, Tami Simon speaks with funeral director, embalmer, and certified postmortem reconstructionist and cremationist Todd Harra to talk about the roots of the Western funeral and to remove some of the fears that surround it. Their riveting conversation looks at: the myths and misconceptions about the funeral director, the sacred responsibility of handling the deceased, the rise in home funerals in our time, the origins of the practices of embalming and coffin burial, the different shades of the “green” cemetery and burial, why there is great value in permanent memorialization, making a ceremony sacred, why simply showing up is the greatest way to support those in mourning, mushroom suits and the controversy around them, the process of natural organic reduction (NOR), and much more.
