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Turning Towards What’s Difficult

Tami Simon speaks with Lama Tsultrim Allione, an author, former Tibetan nun, internationally known Buddhist teacher, and founder of the Tara Mandala retreat center. Lama Tsultrim has created several audio programs with Sounds True, including The Mandala of the Enlightened Feminine and Cutting through Fear, which helps us meet and release the demons of fears and other unhelpful emotions and obsessions. In this episode, Tami and Lama Tsultrim speak about the sacred feminine within Buddhism and how to understand it without creating duality. They also discuss the eleventh-century Tibetan yogini Machig Labdrön and Lama Tsultrim’s journey through grief over the sudden loss of her husband. (69 minutes)

Iyanla Vanzant: Truth is Light

Iyanla Vanzant is an author and expert on personal empowerment whose work includes five New York Times bestsellers and many appearances onstage, over the radio, and on television as the host of Iyanla: Fix My Life. With Sounds True, Iyanla has created several audio programs, including Giving Thanks and Living from Your Center. In this episode of Insights at the Edge, Tami Simon and Iyanla speak about cultivating intimacy with God and holding onto faith during trying times. They mull on values that are seemingly fading from modern society—including integrity, accountability, and even trust itself. Finally, Iyanla and Tami discuss the unique calling that every person has, and how that calling gives birth to one’s true and most authentic self.
(58 minutes)

Gustavo Ferrer: Making Peace with Death

Gustavo Ferrer, MD, is a pulmonologist who specializes in end-of-life care and has been named one of the best doctors in the nation—including Most Compassionate Doctor—by US News & World Report. With Sounds True, he has published Graceful Exit: How to Advocate Effectively, Take Care of Yourself, and Be Present for the Death of a Loved One. In this episode of Insights at the Edge, Tami Simon talks with Dr. Ferrer about our society’s anxiety around death and how he tries to alleviate it for both patients and their families. Dr. Ferrer advocates strongly for a conscious approach to dying, especially when it comes to getting one’s affairs in order so that death does not become even more of a burden for loved ones. Tami and Dr. Ferrer also discuss the need for open, honest conversations about dying and why this can actually help alleviate our fears around the process. Finally, Dr. Ferrer recounts the time he spent with the Warao people of South America as a young medical student, describing how their acceptance of death and grieving as a people greatly influenced his current approach to end-of-life care. (60 minutes)

Creating an Altar in Your Home

Creating An Altar in Your Home Sounds True Blog

Most of us come from secularized backgrounds from which spiritual forms, practices, and rituals have been scrubbed away, and we tend to have an aversion toward things like altars. However, most members of the world’s religious population keep a personal altar or shrine in their home, where they connect with and perform rituals to ancestors, saints, and the Divine, even amid modern, urban lives. In Western secular culture, altars have morphed into man caves, home theaters, or packed closets where we worship the gods of fame, beauty, and success. Consider how much time, energy, and prioritization we give these. Sound judgmental? Would it be judgmental for me to say a crisp, fresh kale salad is healthier than a bucket of fried chicken, or a run in the park more vitalizing than a television binge? We’ve been trained to abandon discernment—some things are better for us than others. It’s not all good.

If you can see an altar as psychological or emotional equipment—a bench press for the mind, augmentation for the heart—it might change your opinion. One of my teachers once said, “Clean your house as if the Dalai Lama was coming to visit for tea.” Now imagine sitting down at your altar with the Dalai Lama. It makes for an incredibly different experience if you picture an inspiring person right there with you. This may change your mind, not because of anything magical or special that is out there, but because the visualization shifts the quality of your experience. This altar is not for anybody else. Whose mind improves if you look at your altar and see a real Buddha instead of a bronze statue of a Buddha? Yours.

When Tibetan Buddhists set up altars, they put many objects on them, but three are central:

  • Buddha statue (symbolizing awakened body)
  • Scripture or other text (symbolizing awakened speech)
  • Stupa or other shrine (symbolizing awakened mind)

So when you sit facing an altar, you become familiar with transforming your own body, speech, and mind.

The body or form of a Buddha (rupakaya), particularly the aspects of compassion and engagement, is represented by a statue placed in the middle of the altar. Your Buddha might be a Tibetan thangka painting or a simple stone. It might be a photograph of the Dalai Lama or Pope Francis, an image of Pema Chödrön or Martin Luther King, Jr. No matter who or what it is, imagine it’s the embodiment of a real, living Buddha inviting you to practice, inspiring you to evolve.

Here is how I set up my Buddhist altar, but you can always arrange things and add or take away things as it works for you:

Create Your Own Altar Sounds True Blog

Excerpted from Gradual Awakening: The Tibetan Buddhist Path of Becoming Fully Human, by Miles Neale.

Miles Neale Creating An Alta in Your Home Sounds True Blog

MILES NEALE, PSYD, is among the leading voices of the current generation of Buddhist teachers and a forerunner in the emerging field of contemplative psychotherapy. He is a Buddhist psychotherapist in private practice, assistant director of the Nalanda Institute for Contemplative Science, and faculty at Tibet House US and Weill Cornell Medical College.

Dr. Neale is co-editor of and contributor to the groundbreaking volume Advances in Contemplative Psychotherapy: Accelerated Healing and Transformation and author of Gradual Awakening: The Tibetan Buddhist Path of Becoming Fully Human. For more visit milesneale.com.

 

 

Gradual Awakening Creating An Altar in Your Home Sounds True Blog

 

Buy your copy of Gradual Awakening at your favorite bookseller!

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Creating An Altar in Your Home Sounds True Blog

Relationship as spiritual practice

My husband and I recently attended a talk that Bruce Tift gave at the Shambhala Center in Boulder titled Relationship as a Path of Awakening. Bruce Tift, LMFT, is a private-practice therapist and instructor at Naropa University here in Boulder. (In the interest of full disclosure, I must say that Bruce is also a Sounds True author with an amazing audio program titled Already Free.) In his talk, Bruce discussed at length the both magical and disturbing nature of intimate relationships and how important it is to continually nurture and accept one another, while simultaneously and unabashedly encouraging growth. He highlighted common relationship patterns that he often sees in his private practice and helped trace them back to childhood—namely survival skills that we established upon first connection with our mothers, which no longer serve us. It should be noted that Bruce was not talking about survival skills which could be considered obvious reactions to abuse or neglect from a parent. Instead, he was referring to seemingly innocent details, such as our mothers’ own self-confidence, and how those nuances come to fruition in our adult lives and inform how we ultimately view the world, connect in intimate relationships, parent our children, etc. For me, discovering how much our lives are perpetually infused by even the minutest aspects of intimate relationship was both a beautiful and terrifying realization. How can we ever be fully aware of the implications of our behavior?

In his talk, Bruce also emphasized the need for couples to develop what he calls “healthy intimacy,” which involves building a strong connection, while at the same time fostering a sense of healthy separation. In Bruce’s opinion, the juxtaposition of connection and separation encourages couples to build a sense of individual independence and to shed their own self-limiting behaviors, while also fostering a depth of adoration and understanding for one another and their collective experience. What most resonated for me in Bruce’s talk is that individual development is only as effective as collective development—for in intimate relationship, the two are ultimately one. No matter how much progress we may make individually, if we’re not progressing in step with one another, our collective experience will be perpetually fractured. While this has always been obvious to me when it comes to goals and alignment related to our outer life—finances, health, travel, family, etc.—I’ve never viewed our inner spiritual goals as those that require the most attention and ultimately make our relationship work.

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As relative newlyweds, my husband and I are continually exploring relationship and the role that intimate relationships in particular play in one’s practice or personal growth. While people typically rely on those closest for nurturing and support, it is also those close to us who are best equipped to cast light on all our shadows. But how do we strike the balance between building the nest and deconstructing old patterns? How can we encourage one another to be vulnerable and to break our hearts wide open in relationship, while simultaneously using that same openness to examine and cast each others’ skeletons out of the closet? How do we prevent the very delicateness that we create within intimacy from also being used against us? In Bruce’s words, how do we negotiate the hard fact that our most beautiful and unconditional relationships can also be the most disturbing?

Cyndi Dale: Becoming Your Own Best Ancestor

On the surface, it appears as though the lives we live proceed forward moment by moment in a strictly linear way. Could it be we’ve got it all wrong? Renowned energy healer and teacher Cyndi Dale offers a wildly different perspective on our human journey—a paradigm-shattering cosmology where our current, past, parallel, and future selves coexist in realms beyond the grasp of the rational mind. In her book Transforming the Legacy, Cyndi helps readers create a partnership with these energetic aspects of ourselves to identify and heal soul-based and lineage-ancestry issues. 

In this podcast, Tami Simon speaks with Cyndi about Transforming the Legacy and a broad swath of fascinating topics including: past lives and reincarnation; quantum physics and how our past, present, and future lives coexist; our two neurological systems: the (linear) digital and the (timeless) analog; the phenomenon of loop quantum gravity and how our parallel lives unfold in connection and concurrently; healing the past for empowerment here and now; the 12-chakra model; the ancestral energies we receive pre-conception; soul-level agreements we choose prior to incarnating; changing the “program” to change the person; finding your “God spot,” or your connection to divine intelligence within; combining intuition with somatic practice on the path of healing and growth; applying subtle energy work to resolve money issues; the “wild tornadoes” metaphor for the chakras; spiritual light; overcoming our psychological discomfort around making difficult changes; addressing illness and disease on both the physical and subtle levels; the practice of becoming your own good ancestor; and more.

Note: This episode originally aired on Sounds True One, where these special episodes of Insights at the Edge are available to watch live on video and with exclusive access to Q&As with our guests. Learn more at join.soundstrue.com.

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