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Susan David: Emotional Agility

Susan David is a psychologist teaching at Harvard Medical School, cofounder of the Institute of Coaching at McLean Hospital, and the bestselling author of Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life. In this episode of Insights at the Edge, Tami Simon talks with Susan about modern society’s attitudes toward emotion—specifically our tendency to label certain feelings as good or bad, and the dysfunctional behaviors that arise as a result. Susan explains that a much healthier approach is to identify “bad” emotions as “tough” or “difficult,” allowing us to examine them in a granular way that helps in processing them. Tami and Susan discuss how this informed method of dealing with emotions can be taught to children, which is especially important for learning not to bottle or brood upon unpleasant feelings. Finally, Susan draws upon a story from her adolescence to illustrate why emotional honesty is paramount for living a fulfilled life and why forced positivity never works out in the long run. (66 minutes)

Tami’s Takeaway: I loved hearing from a Harvard professor that “chasing happiness just doesn’t work.” It certainly hasn’t worked for me. Instead, she teaches how rewarding it can be to orient ourselves towards fulfillment and living a life that is meaningful. And then in some strange, unexpected way, happiness dawns. My two favorite quotes from this interview are: “Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life,” and “Life’s beauty is inseparable from its fragility.”

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Zach Leary: Psychedelics in the 21st Century and How t...

He’s the son of Timothy Leary and one of today’s leading voices in the psychedelic renaissance of the 21st century. But Zach Leary’s journey hardly unfolded in the way you might expect. In this deeply informative and myth-busting podcast, Tami Simon speaks with Zach about his new book with Sounds True, Your Extraordinary Mind. 

With a “friend to friend” approach to discussing the amazing potential for the safe use of psychedelics, Tami and Zach converse about: carrying forward the legacy of the front-runners of psychedelic exploration, including icons like Terence McKenna, Humphry Osmond, Dr. John C. Lilly, and of course, Zach’s father Timothy and Richard Alpert (Ram Dass); acknowledging the mistakes of the past and dispelling the myths and misconceptions about psychedelics; bringing legitimacy to the use of psychedelics for healing and insight; a review of the major compounds and their sources (natural and manmade), such as MDMA, psilocybin mushrooms, ayahuasca, LSD, and ketamine; the importance of the 3 S’s: set, setting, and sustainability; turning insights into action; challenging experiences (instead of “bad trips”); Carl Jung and shadow work; using psychedelics to overcome our fear of death; Zach’s personal battle with addiction and how psychedelics supported his recovery; the nature of consciousness; psychedelics as humanity’s evolutionary partner; and more.

Note: This episode originally aired on Sounds True One, where these special episodes of Insights at the Edge are available to watch live on video and with exclusive access to Q&As with our guests. Learn more at join.soundstrue.com.

Stephen Porges and Karen Onderko: All Healing Begins w...

In every social interaction, we convey signals of trust and accessibility to those around us. In other words, whatever’s happening within your nervous system is seen and felt by others. Dr. Stephen Porges’s groundbreaking Polyvagal Theory has led to a revolution in mental health, showing us that when you bring conscious awareness to your own inner state, you can choose to self-regulate (and ultimately to co-regulate), stop the cycle of fight-flight-freeze, and become a source of empathic connection and mutual safety for yourself and the people in your life. 

Join Tami Simon in conversation with Dr. Porges and Karen Onderko, coauthors of the new book Safe and Sound to learn about: the origins of Polyvagal Theory; the minimization of bodily feelings and emotions in mental health care; the evolutionary hierarchy of our brainstem’s survival mechanisms; the concept of co-regulation; the neurobiology of trust; neuroception and the Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP); why the intonation qualities of vocalization are more powerful than the words we say; the amazing vagus nerve; applying the SSP for trauma healing; self-compassion and honoring the body’s wisdom; the transformative potential of a felt moment of safety; how to remain open and accessible without becoming overwhelmed by vulnerability; breathwork, qigong, and other neural exercises that facilitate the social engagement system; and more.

Note: This episode originally aired on Sounds True One, where these special episodes of Insights at the Edge are available to watch live on video and with exclusive access to Q&As with our guests. Learn more at join.soundstrue.com.

If You Are Postpartum and Bereaved, Know You Are Not A...

An Excerpt From To Tend And To Hold: Honoring Our Bodies, Our Needs, and Our Grief Through Pregnancy and Infant Loss

For as long as there has been life, there has been death. For as long as we have birthed life, we have also birthed death. What you feel has been felt since time immemorial, and it has been felt by many, though womb loss is still not widely known or acknowledged. Consider that even in the most optimal conditions, there is only a 30 to 40 percent chance that a clinically recognized pregnancy will occur in a given menstrual cycle, and only about 30 percent of conceived pregnancies progress to live birth.1 Globally, approximately one in four pregnancies end in miscarriage and 2.6 million pregnancies end in stillbirth.2 In 2022, 2.3 million newborns died in the first month of life,3 and approximately 73 million induced abortions occur every year.4 Womb loss in and after pregnancy is, in fact, a common and regular occurrence, though many of us may struggle with feelings of inadequacy and shame as if such loss is atypical and we are deserving of blame. The prevailing stigma surrounding womb loss makes enduring it all the more challenging as we may feel reluctant to reach out for support and hold on to harmful ideas about our worth. You are not alone, nor are you any less precious and deserving of support. You are not alone as the anguish of womb loss has been felt, is being felt at this very moment, and will continue to be felt the world over.

Before we go any further, let us reconnect with our breath. It can be hard to breathe if you’ve recently learned about your womb loss or impending loss and feel pressure to make decisions right away. Or if you have learned of the potential for a loss and have to endure a waiting period before you know for certain. It can be hard to breathe even as you process a loss long since passed. The following practice is an invitation to make the resilient choice to slow down and allow yourself a moment to breathe. So that you can feel grounded. So that you can have the capacity to be present to your grief. So that you can tend to your needs.

GROUNDING BREATHING PRACTICE

Three Deep Breaths
This offering is a simple and short breathing practice. Because you deserve breathing room, and because there is power in the pause. In that fleeting moment between what was and what can be, if you can breathe deeply and connect with your body, you may find yourself more able to understand what you feel and then what you need. Allow yourself this pause so you can make a more intentional decision about what comes next.

The Invitation

When you are ready, take three deep breaths at your own pace and in your own way. You might inhale and exhale through the nose or inhale through the nose and exhale audibly through the mouth. You might close your eyes or soften your gaze as you do so, allowing your awareness to gently follow each breath, letting everything else fade to the background. You might even think the following words as you breathe, allowing them to help you feel grounded in this moment.

Inhale. Exhale. One.

Inhale. Exhale. Two.

Inhale. Exhale. Two.

Your body may want to continue breathing this way, or it may feel like this was enough. Honor what feels right for you.

Sometimes breathing is the most we can bring ourselves to do, the best we can do, when our whole being is overcome. Deciding what comes next may feel like too much to ask of ourselves. If so, breathe, and trust that it is enough for this moment.


Eileen Santos Rosete, MSMFT, PCD(DONA), CYT 200, holds a master of science in marriage and family therapy from Northwestern University and is certified as a DONA International postpartum doula, trauma-informed yoga teacher, and grief educator. Her brand, Our Sacred Women®, is known for its elevated offerings that help women feel seen, held, and honored. She is especially passionate about supporting all who give birth and are postpartum both after live births and after loss. To learn more, visit eileensantosrosete.com.

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