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Despair Cracks Open Your Heart

Mary Pipher is a clinical psychologist whose area of expertise is how contemporary US culture influences the mental health of its citizens. She is the author of the New York Times bestselling book Reviving Ophelia, and recently contributed to the Sounds True anthology Darkness Before Dawn: Redefining the Journey Through Depression. In this episode of Insights at the Edge, Mary and Tami Simon discuss the connection between despair and a lack of trust, as well as how personal writing can be a panacea for hopelessness. Mary also shares advice for journeyman therapists who are dealing with clients buried deep in their own despair. Finally, Mary and Tami talk about how despair can crack the heart wide open. (52 minutes)

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Learning the Art of Thriving Online

Amelia Knott is an art psychotherapist who specializes in the mental health impacts of hustle culture and social media. In the video below (3:22 minutes), she shares her inspiration behind her written and illustrated workbook, The Art of Thriving Online: Creative Exercises to Help You Stay Grounded and Feel Joy in the World of Social Media and invites you in on the journey of reimagining a healthier relationship with the digital world.

You can also read the video transcript below:

It’s been half my life—literally half the years of my life—lifting my chin for pictures, anticipating the critical gaze of a digital audience, offering my presence half-heartedly to the world around me to to draft a clever caption, choose a flattering filter, and watch as my phone tells me if this time my work will be rewarded with worthiness.

Too many nights avoiding myself, letting the blue-light-lullaby of my screen become a substitute for true soothing. It’s been half my life; holding up the mirror of comparison to everyone’s best days and hottest takes, highlight reels curated with effortless nonchalance, and now the mirror of comparison to a perfected self made in the algorithm’s image. It’s been half my life of fractured attention, commodified vulnerability, fury, and fear taking turns with despondence.

What if my real life stopped being my body or the land, and became the non-place I devote my hours to?

And it’s been half my life wandering daily into the galleries of artists’ and thinkers’ most beautiful ideas. Half my life keeping far-away loved ones close.

It’s true that the Internet gave me my career, my marriage. It made visible the threads of similarity across a quickly dividing globe. It showed me life-saving examples of people who survived what I needed to survive and it broke my heart open at the things no one should have to.

I like to misquote Carl Jung when he said something almost like “a paradox is our most valuable spiritual tool.” I’m not interested in finding the elusive, singular hack that will make screen time less alluring forever. I’m not interested in a lifetime of cycling through eras of detox and excess. Vacillating between the high of a new regimen and the crash of shame when social media works once again, exactly as it was designed.

I’m a therapist. I know that hacks can be tools, or bandaids. A self-help, step-by-step, sales pitch plan can feel like salvation, but it’s not the medicine of being in an evolving conversation with yourself. I am more interested in making art. I’m more interested in learning to tolerate the tension between social media’s danger and its magic. I’m more interested in learning to like myself, unsolved.

And when I’m learning the same lesson, again, the hard way, I know that my allies in finding safe passage through the digital age are art and writing. Creativity is how we imagine a different future.

So I wrote us this book. It’s a place to start that conversation with yourself about what is really happening between you and your screen; who profits from the ways it harms you, and how to protect the parts of it that are genuinely good, because parts of it are.

So if you are ready to join me—an art psychotherapist who both loves the life her phone enables and desperately needs to put it down—we’ll make some art. We’ll sit in the stunning and maddening paradox, and we’ll find creative ways to author our own definitions of real wellbeing when we choose to be on social media.

And together we’ll find the art of thriving online.

The Art of Thriving Online: A Workbook

Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Bookshop | Sounds True

Amelia Knott

Valarie Kaur: Sage Warrior

Through the eyes of the sage, all of humanity is kin. And all of our ancestors are available to support us if we relate to them with integrity and respect. So teaches social activist and author Valarie Kaur in her new book, Sage Warrior. In this podcast, Tami Simon speaks with Valarie about how we can navigate the time of cultural transition that we find ourselves in by “reclaiming love as a force for justice, healing, and transformation.”

Give a listen to this conversation that is at once highly informative and deeply inspiring, as Tami and Valarie discuss: bringing together the heart of devotion and the fist held high in the name of liberation; taking our saints and sages off of the pedestal; a brief history of the Sikh tradition; the city of Punjab in the 15th century; the warrior-mystic; dismantling hierarchies; walking the path of love without following a leader; the legendary female sage warrior, Mai Bhago; acts of love that change everything; the power of story; sustaining one’s energy throughout long labor; releasing that which does not serve you; the Revolutionary Love Bus Tour—and how you can get involved in this work; and more.

Note: This episode originally aired on Sounds True One, where these special episodes of Insights at the Edge are available to watch live on video and with exclusive access to Q&As with our guests. Learn more at join.soundstrue.com.

Chianti Lomax: Evolving While Black: Happy, Authentic,...

How do Black women grow, transform, and make good use of the power they possess? In her new book, Evolving While Black, inspirational life coach and “Chief Happiness Curator” Chianti Lomax shares a guide to help Black women achieve authentic happiness and liberation on their own terms. This episode of Insights at the Edge brings you into her company with Sounds True founder Tami Simon as they discuss Chianti’s personal journey and the many practical approaches she teaches.

Give a listen to their conversation on: education, the golden key to improving your life; positive psychology; how exposure creates expansion; learning ways to flourish in the face of systemic racism and oppression; listening to hip-hop that empowers us; shifting from poverty to possibility; breaking free from the inherited belief systems that no longer serve you; mindfulness and emotions; what Chianti discovered while skydiving; the challenge of accurately assessing your own level of self-awareness; “polling your crew” to learn how you show up in life; the life satisfaction pie and how much of our happiness is ours to determine; journaling as a vehicle for rewriting your truth; taking your thoughts “to court”; optimism research and the A,B,C, D method; three dimensions of happiness: pleasure and gratification, strength and virtue, and meaning and purpose; self-acceptance and validation; setting healthy boundaries; and more.

Note: This episode originally aired on Sounds True One, where these special episodes of Insights at the Edge are available to watch live on video and with exclusive access to Q&As with our guests. Learn more at join.soundstrue.com.

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