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Tibetan Buddhist Practice for Developing Compassion
Realizing Emptiness and Connection
Take a few minutes to sit peacefully with your eyes closed or looking down. Observe your breath as you breathe in and out.
Zen teacher Norman Fischer said:
Take a few minutes to sit peacefully with your eyes closed or looking down. Observe your breath as you breathe in and out.
- Allow yourself to breathe naturally, without any modification of the breath.
For a few minutes, simply observe your breath in its most natural state, as it passes through your nostrils.
If you find that you are distracted by your thoughts or sounds, no problem; just go back to observing your breath.
In your mind, see a table. In English, it is described by the word “table.” This table is made up of many pieces: a top, legs, glue, nails, and varnish. The legs and top are made up of wood from a tree. Before the tree was cut down it grew as a result of many variables—sunlight, seeds, rain, earth, and wind, to name just a few. And before it was a tree, it was a seed from another tree, and another tree before that. What about the nails or the varnish? Those items can also be traced backward to the people, companies, and components that went into their production. And the people who created the components also came into being from their parents, and their parents before them. We now see that everything around us—all phenomena—were caused by something that preceded it and can be traced back to a beginningless time. Next time, pick another thing, place, or person and go through the same logic. As you go about your day, notice everything around you and apply the same logic. When you walk around your work or home environment, notice that everything is empty of inherent existence. Everything has a name that refers to a thing that comes together for a time.
Zen teacher Norman Fischer said:
- In the end everything is just designation: things have a kind of reality in their being named and conceptualized, but otherwise they actually aren’t there in the way we think they are. That is, connection is all you find, with no things that are connected.[. . .] It’s the very thoroughness of the connection—without gaps or lumps in it—only the constant nexus wherever you turn—that renders everything void. So everything is empty and connected or empty because connected. Emptiness is connection.
What Your Feelings Are Trying to Tell You
Though I’m fairly certain you’ve heard otherwise, emotions are a vital part of everything you are: every thought, every choice, every relationship, every dream, every failure, every triumph, every act of violence, and every act of love. When you can learn their language, you can change your life for the better.
And when we can all learn their language, we can change the world.
Hello! I’m Karla McLaren, and I’m excited to announce the upcoming release of the revised and updated edition of The Language of Emotions: What Your Feelings Are Trying to Tell You, which will be available in bookstores on June 27th.
Whether you’re a reader of the original Language of Emotions, or if you’re new to this work, I welcome you to this complete guide to the wisdom in every emotion you have.
The original 2010 version of The Language of Emotions was the first book to approach the emotions in terms of how they function, what they do, and how to work with them. Instead of treating emotions as problems to be solved or eradicated, I focused on them as essential aspects of meaning-making, behavior, and intelligence (which is what they truly are). I approached the emotional realm as an intelligent system that requires all of its members, including tragically disrespected emotions such as shame, anxiety, depression, jealousy, envy, panic, and the suicidal urge (among others). And in so doing, I discovered the healing messages inside all emotions.
But because most of us have been taught to distrust emotions, I was working without a net as I wrote the original version of this book, and I missed some things. Now, after more than a decade of further research and practice, and with the support and camaraderie of an international community of colleagues and friends, I’ve had the opportunity to understand the emotions more deeply.
For centuries, emotions have been repressed, idealized, distrusted, and even despised, yet they were never truly understood. I’m honored to share this updated celebration of the brilliance, ingenuity, healing power, and jaw-dropping genius of our emotions.
Welcome!
Karla McLaren, M.Ed.
Karla McLaren, M.Ed., is an award-winning author, social science researcher, and empathy innovator. She is CEO of Emotion Dynamics Inc., developer of Dynamic Emotional Integration®, and creator of EmpathyAcademy.org. Karla is the author of Embracing Anxiety, The Dynamic Emotional Integration Workbook, The Art of Empathy, The Power of Emotions at Work, and the multimedia online course Emotional Flow: Becoming Fluent in the Language of Emotions. For more, visit karlamclaren.com.
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The Trauma Response is Never Wrong
We have been tricked to believe that the trauma response is a sign of weakness and disorder. What science shows us is that the trauma response is in fact a sign of strength and proof of an inherent human drive to survive. We need society to catch up with science, and fast. We are no longer living in an era where we can assume that trauma impacts a minority of the population. Trauma impacts us all. This has always been true, but we can no longer pretend otherwise.
Unbroken is a book about the miracle of the trauma response, the importance of acceptance and self-compassion, and the transformative healing potential that lies within us all. Drawing on my experience as a trauma researcher, coach, as well as my own personal journey of healing, this book offers a new perspective on trauma that emphasizes the wisdom of the body and the resilience of the human spirit.
If you’re struggling with the after-effects of trauma, Unbroken can help you understand your experience in a new light. You’ll learn how trauma impacts the brain, the body, and the spirit, and how you can use this knowledge to start your journey of healing. You’ll discover practical tools and strategies for managing trauma triggers, regulating your emotions, and cultivating self-compassion. Most importantly, you’ll learn that the trauma response is never wrong – it’s a natural and adaptive response to a difficult situation.
One of the most important lessons of Unbroken is that the trauma response is never wrong. This means that even if you’re struggling with symptoms like anxiety, depression, or dissociation, your body is doing exactly what it needs to do to protect you. By embracing this truth, you can start to shift from a place of shame and self-blame to a place of self-compassion and empowerment. The book is chock full of tools that will help you understand and appreciate your trauma response and how to intervene when that response is tripped off unnecessarily. I can’t wait for you to dig in and I can’t wait to hear how this book changes you. It certainly changed me.
MaryCatherine McDonald, PhD, is a research professor and life coach who specializes in the psychology and philosophy of trauma. She has been researching, lecturing, and publishing on the neuroscience, psychology, and lived experience of trauma since the beginning of her PhD in 2009. She’s published two academic books and many research papers, and she is the creator of a trauma-based curriculum designed to serve previously incarcerated folks and veterans
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