E44: Living Life Beyond Fear and Desire

UNEDITED TRANSCRIPT: The following transcript may contain typographical errors or other mistakes due to inconsistencies in audio quality, background noise, or other factors. We cannot guarantee its precision or completeness. We encourage you to use this as a supplement to your own notes and recollection of the session.

Tami Simon: Welcome to The Michael Singer Podcast, presented by Sounds True in partnership with Shanti Publications. For more information about Michael Singer’s work, access to all prior episodes, and information about upcoming releases, we invite you to join us at MichaelSingerPodcast.com

Michael Singer: Jai Guru Dev, Jai Masters. There’s so many levels that you can live life. You can live at the surface, live a little bit deeper, or you can live very, very deep. It’s all real, but it makes a big difference in the quality of your life. So for example, let’s take one word that’s a very spiritual word because unless you work with it, you’re not going anywhere and that’s fear in general. You’ll find out the deeper you go, people are living their life out of fear. Almost everybody except for a very highly evolved being is living out of fear. It doesn’t seem like it seems like I’m living out of desire. I’m living out of what I want, what I don’t want living out of getting what I want and avoiding what I don’t want as a boss. That’s not a bottom line, but there’s a serious subtotal.

The line is drawn at, I am living my life trying to get what I want and avoid what I don’t want. Can anybody relate to that? I think everybody can relate to that. Well, that’s not totally shallow, totally shallow. You don’t have any idea what the heck you’re doing, just run around and chicken with your head cut off. But it’s very shallow. It’s very mid-level to sit there and say, I am dropped down into this planet. Spin in the middle of nowheres tiny little planet. I told you, 1.3 million or fit inside the sun. It’s really just a small little piece of dirt. I drop down there for a few years and I’m going to live my life to get what I want to avoid what I don’t want. That’s a pretty shallow life because I’m going to tell you secret. If you live your life to get what you want to avoid but you don’t want, you’re going to hurt people and you’re not going to go anywhere and guess what?

You’re going to suffer. Why? Because you’re not going to get what you want all the time and you’re not going to avoid what you don’t want all the time and when you get what you want, Hur, right? How long does it last? Just keep getting what you want. I’ll tell you what, he has a particular food that he loves. I mean, oh my God, he had it once when he was little and he’s created his whole life. I’m going to hire the best chef from that country that cooks that food the best it’s ever been cooked in the history of the universe and I’m going to feed it to him. I love him. I love him so much. I’ll feed it to him. He’s going to bliss out. I mean he’ll bliss out probably for days. He’ll go into samati, alright? He is going to enjoy that serious. So he wants to know, can you have it again? Of course you can have it again. I told you I love you. I’m doing this out of love, just pure love. Alright, would you like it for dinner tomorrow night? I’ll keep the chef here. I don’t care what it costs. Yes. Okay, very good. Would you like it the next night? Sure. Would you like it for lunch also?

Yeah, have a breakfast, lunch and dinner every day. No. Could I have some cabbage, some Brussels sprouts, something. Alright, there is a law of diminishing returns. I studied economics that it was my background, right? And they taught me that. I’m so glad they did. It’s the truth, isn’t it? Buy a new car. Hey man, show it off. Have people think, let people drive it. Driving it how long before It’s exactly the same as the old cars. It drives you to work and it gets you where you want to go. Not very long. You do not bliss out every time you see or get in that car for very long. And so you understand that even getting what you want is overrated. You said so because you stopped wanting it and then not having to get what you don’t want. Let’s talk about that. You have this fear, oh my god, this might happen.

This might happen. For example, you shouldn’t happen to you, but it happens. You go to a doctor, not a very good one by the way, and they misdiagnose, they mix up or CT scans and they say, well, sorry to tell you, you’ve got the big C and it’s stage four and it’s very serious and you ain’t got long to live right? You’s scared to death and then you get a call back, oh, I read the wrong scan. There’s nothing wrong with you. Listen to me now. You didn’t get what you don’t want, okay? I’m telling you, for the rest of your life you’ll be afraid that it will happen. That’s what you can’t make fear go away. You can make it just not happen right now. But if you have a fear and you find out that, oh my god, it didn’t happen, you still have the fear.

The fear does not go away. It actually gets worse because you were faced with it. So getting what you want is way overrated and avoiding what you don’t want is way overrated. Neither one take you deeper. They’re at the same level. You live at the same semi shallow, not totally shallow, but semi shallow level. So if you devote your life to getting what you want and avoiding what you don’t want, fine. I don’t teach you how to live your life. Nobody should teach you how to live your life. You need to learn how to live your life and you’re going to learn because you’re going to suffer. You’re going to learn because you’re going to find out, oh, I fell in love with so beautiful, I don’t care. But anything, I don’t care if he or she earns money, we can live outside in the rain.

Yeah, well see how long that lasts. Does that mean that you shouldn’t fall in love? No, it does not mean that. It means you’re setting your goals too low. You just set your eyes not high enough to something that’s permanent, to something that’s lasting. So basically you have your time here on earth and you’ll live that time. And if what happens is all you do is try to get what you want and then it doesn’t last, you have to keep trying and trying. You know that or avoid what you don’t want. Then you’re afraid. You keep being afraid that it will happen and then you die. And then now what? There are things higher than that. There are things way higher than that as the meaning of your life. It is not your meaning of your life to get what you want and avoid what you don’t want.

So what do I do? Well, people get interesting. I won’t say weird, but people get interesting about that. What’s the alternative? And they sit there and say, well, if it’s not about getting what I want, then I’m not supposed to get what I want. I’ll renounce what I want and I’m sorry I’ve been through the whole gambit after all these years. I don’t talk against renunciation. I mean if you have a habit and it’s bad habit, you need to break it. So you need to have enough will to break that habit. But to sit there and say, my life is about renunciation. I’m not going to touch anything. I’m not going to do anything. I’m renouncing this world. That’s not my experience of what it’s about. What it’s about is to sit there and say not do I deny what I want and not how do I face and bring on what I’m afraid of?

Why do you want things? That’s the deeper, not what do I do about the fact that I want things. Get them renounced them. No. Why is that going on inside of me? That’s deeper, isn’t it? Buddhists say work at the root. What is the root of desire? What is the root of desire? Why do I have desires? The trouble is everybody’s got ’em. So everybody just accepts, alright, let the strongest and most powerful people get theirs and the weaker people not get theirs. And that’s just a lot of land. It’s nature. Why do I have desire Now I’m not talking about physical needs, food, clothing and shelter, basic physical needs. That’s not desire, that is physical needs that the body has that you have to do to stay alive, keep it alive, give you a vehicle alive like two up your car by putting oil in your car and gas in your car.

If you don’t on run very well, you don’t have food, clothing, and shelter. That’s not going to last very long here, but it’s very basic stuff I’m talking about why do you have psychological desires? The deep teaching say there are no psychological desires. It is not true that they’re teaching you. Yes, you’re a social animal, you do just fine by yourself. Yogis, go off and sit in the caves and go into ecstasy and live there all the time. Alright? Don’t short sell yourself. You’re a very great being, but you don’t feel that what you feel is desire and fear. That’s what you’re trying to get. What you want, desire. You try to avoid what you don’t want. Fear. That’s the foundation of what your psyche is built out of. The problem is you’re not your psyche, you’re the consciousness who notices. You have one. Do you notice you have desires?

Do you notice? You have fears? Who notices? The fear doesn’t notice itself. The desire doesn’t notice itself. You are in there. You could have a desire and when it starts to come towards you, you could be afraid. Let’s be serious, right? The psyche’s weird. It’s just completely unacceptable and not a single wind point inside that psyche. I’m telling you right now, right? But you are the consciousness. You see that. So you are not the desire, you are not the fear, but you have desire even that look at the English structure of the sentences. There’s a subject, a verb and an object. You have desires, not you are the desire, you have desires, you have fears. Who’s the you? That’s when trauma going deeper. So the question becomes why do I have desires and I’m just telling you what I’m not supposed to say, which is they’re not natural.

It’s not true. If you’re sitting there drinking Pepto Bismol or taking Alka Seltzer every time after dinner, that is not normal. It’s not. Well of course I do. Of course I have a stomach after eating so therefore I take care of it. No, find out what you’re eating that’s making you sick a little deeper and if you have desires or fear, desires or fears, to me they’re the same thing. They’re due to the fact that something’s wrong. You have desires because you’re not content. You have desires because you think something could happen that would make you content. You have desires because you don’t feel love and you think you can find somebody or meet somebody, have something happen that will make you feel love. Therefore, you have desire for love. Why? Because you have a lack of love. Therefore you have desire for peace because you have a lack of peace.

So it’s not how do I get to compensate for the fact that I have a lack of love or to compensate for the fact that I have a lack of peace? Why do I not feel love myself inside myself? Because the truth of the matter is you’re so filled with love became a see straight. You’re so filled with peace. It’s so deep you can cut it with a knife. Do you understand that the peace that passes is all understanding. That’s the Bible said it. What’s the peace that passes? Understanding the one that is naturally within you that you don’t have to do anything to get and you can’t lose it. So that if you live your life trying to get your desires and trying to avoid your fears, you didn’t go deep enough and you’ll never ever have a satisfying life momentarily. You will momentarily you’ll feel relieved because you didn’t have to face your fear and momentarily you’ll feel whole because you compensated for your desires, but the desires going to come right back.

If not that one 17 more. When was the last time you fulfilled desire and never had any more Anytime in your whole life? I don’t care. Take your whole life. You got the toy you wanted, your mommy held you, you met somebody. Oh my God, you didn’t need anything more there. Well, oh my God, it happened never for anybody. How you like that? That means you’re barking up the wrong tree. There’s no solution there. And was the last time you avoided a fear and never had any more fears? I’m just asking you to wake up, pay attention. There’s a deeper life. Why and how? By asking why do I have desires? Not what do I do to fulfill my desires? That’s why nowadays this big thing attract to yourself. You have the power. You do. I’ve never deny it. You have the power of attraction.

So learn to do mantras, learn to meditate, learn to contemplate and focus on something and you can attract it to yourself. Yes you can. I want to know why you want it and don’t tell me I’m talking against attraction or talking against any way of life. I’m just talking truth. Why do you want it? Why do you not feel whole and complete within yourself? Okay, and the answer is very, very straightforward and it’s the whole meaning of your spiritual path, which is I blocked myself. Nobody else is in there. Mommy’s not in there, dad’s not in there, husband not in there, children aren’t in there, boss is not in there. No one else in there. You’re the only one. I call it a single occupancy apartment inside of you. Therefore, if it’s a mess in there, you did it. If it’s beautiful in there, you did it.

(13:21):

You’re the only one living in there. If I go into your house and there’s pizza crust all over the place and it’s filthy and there’s roaches, you did it. You live there, it’s your house. You could have cleaned it up. It’s the exact same thing inside that is your abode and you’re the only one in there and if you made a mess in there, people like to be talked to like this. I didn’t do it. My mother mistreated me when? 43 years ago. Well, did she mistreat you every single day for 43 years? No. You did it to yourself for 43 years, didn’t you? You kept it inside of you. Has anybody held something inside of themselves after it stopped happening? Well, why did you do that? Not what do I do about it now how did I get her? Say I’m sorry. What do I do about the fact that I held something inside of me that’s not happening anymore?

It doesn’t make sense. Why would you make a collection of everything that ever bothered you inside of you so they can bother you for the rest of your life? If I had time, I would let you answer me. There is no answer, is there? You didn’t know how not to? How’s that? I didn’t know how not to It hurt. It bothered me a lot. I didn’t know what to do with it, so I tried to keep it away. I don’t want it near me so I pushed it away called suppression or repression. That’s the foundation of psychology. What I couldn’t handle what happened, so I tried to push it away. Where did it go? I’m giving you a crash course. Where did it go? It went inside of you. You pushed it down inside of you and it stayed inside of you. Psychology knows that, don’t they?

That’s Freud. No one in psychology doesn’t know that If you can’t handle it and you don’t like it, you either repress it, suppress it, or deny it. They’re all the same thing. Resist it. I don’t want to experience it, therefore I’ll store it and let it bother for the rest of my life. You held that in there because you couldn’t handle it. You in there the self consciousness, so you pushed it away. You use Shakti literally you used power energy to push it away and if you push it away, it doesn’t go anywhere. It stays inside of you. But what you don’t realize is the cost of that not only is does it stay in there, but where you’re pushing it on top of your Shakti flow. You’re pushing it down on top of your spirit, on top of the natural energy flow that is inside of every single one of you.

No matter what you’ve ever done, there’s no such thing as it not being there. It is the nature of your being. You have inside of you the most beautiful thing that ever was or could ever be created. Who taught you that? Christ taught you that? Christ said as I sit by the throne of my father, it’s not a seat made of gold. It’s a state of consciousness. It’s where he sits. Where do you sit in there in fear and desire? Where did he sit? My father and I won. As I sit by the throne of my father, what’s the next line? So you shall sit by my side and these things which I do should do these things and even greater things. In other words, you are the same as that. You are a beautiful, beautiful being. One with God, filled with Shakti, filled with spirit, filled with love, totally filled.

It’s your nature. You don’t have to do anything. Love is who you are. Energy is who you are. Light is who you are. Well, newscast, I don’t feel that. What do you mean? That’s my nature. I feel fear and desire. Alright, why? Because you couldn’t handle, I’m not blaming. You couldn’t handle situations in your life. They were very uncomfortable and so you tried to keep them away from you in there. I’m way back in here. How about you? The world’s way out there and then in between there’s the energy that comes in from the world and attacks me or massages me, but I’m back here, the experiencer and it comes in and I didn’t want to feel it. I made it not want it to happen, but obviously it happened because it came in. I can’t do anything about that to get this straight. There’s nothing you can do about what already happened.

No one has a time machine. If it happened, it happened. You either accept it or resist it. Do you have the ability to push it away? You do it all the time. If you don’t want to experience something, you push it away. If you want to experience it, it’s not that often. Let’s do that end. Have you ever had an experience? Have you ever had an experience that you melted into? It’s just you went away, it took you and you melted into it, you merged with it. Maybe it was an intimate experience. Maybe it was looking at a sunset or music, something where it melted you. It melted into your being. You say words like, oh my God, it moved me to the depth of my being. I swear I felt I was in the presence of God. The sunset was so beautiful and the music, it just melted me.

I wasn’t even there. How often? Not very often is it, but it’s really beautiful in there. That’s when you touch the depth of your being. That’s when it came all the way in like a river flowing to the ocean. The vibration came all the way in and merged into your soul, into your being, into your consciousness. You’re supposed to live there. That’s what it means to be in the garden. Everything goes on and you experience it at that level. That’s where a great master lives. Everything, nothing resists anything. Nothing clings to anything. It’s just all touches. Why would it not? The river flows into the ocean for the beginning of time. The unless you damn it up, unless you do something, then stop it. The natural state of your being is ecstasy. The natural state of the descended consciousness is one with God. There’s just this constant flow of the universe pouring into your being and it touches you at every level. AK Krishna, great. I’m telling you that’s where the truly a lot of people call themselves gurus or saints. They ain’t even close. There have been very great beings. Of course Christ was the greatest of the greatest, but there have been very, very great beings who went very, very deep into this place. We’re talking about AK Krishna as they took him out to the park to have a lunch, he would start crying. Something was bothering him, was hurting him. He said, what?

People are walking in the grass and I feel what the grass is feeling. He was one with it all. Was he complaining that he felt the grass pain? That no, no, that was beautiful. It’s beautiful. You understand that. Have a baby. It hurts coming out. You go through, then you go back for seconds and thirds and fourths. Everything has a beauty to it. Everything is of God’s creation and God is experiencing it. And when you’re out of the way, that’s what you experience is ecstasy. Letting yourself be one with everything and experiencing your own creation. Like an artist experiences their music or experience what they painted. There’s no good, there’s no bad. You express yourself and there it is and you can look at yourself. That’s God’s creation. If you never understood, people say, why did God create them in the nerve? Why is there so much suffering?

God expressed itself, him, her, I don’t care God expressed, expressed well. What is God? Everything. Everything that ever was. Everything. There will never be the beginning and the end of all. Alpha to omega. Omnipresent, omniscient, omnipotent. Everything. Well, everything’s part of everything. If you find something that’s not part of everything, we hear really good. My definition of word means everything right and expressed itself and is experiencing itself. Just the dance of creation. There’s no explanation more than that. Not a why. And so that’s happening. And being in the garden means you’re in that state. You’re in that state. That’s the state of the divine bliss, the state of the ecstasy. It’s where the great ones go when they go into samati and beyond. Samati, I don’t like to talk about this stuff. What is samati? That state, that state where you’ve let go of yourself enough, your personal self enough Jerry, you’ve merged back into the creation and you’re going to said when he experienced his first state in Somali, the first time he felt like every star and every galaxy was his body and he was expanding at the speed of light in every direction and that was the state he entered into when he was no longer being him, emerged back into his consciousness.

That’s who you are. That’s what it is. And then there’s a state beyond that talking yoga. I don’t ever talk this stuff. That’s called sabi samati. Then there’s this thing called what is that? When you go past creation, back to the stillness, the oneness, the non-dual. Before God created creation, he was God, yogi. Go back to that state. There are beings who live in that stage from every call. Somali, OMG. Guess what you are that that acy you are that is inside of you right now, that oneness that Christ talked about. My father and I are one. You are the greatest thing that ever wants the face of the earth. But look at you, you suffer. Okay? You’re not in ecstasy. You have to try and find joy even a little bit. You have to try and find love. Just a little drop of water please.

Alright, and why? Because you blocked your flow of energy, the consciousness instead of falling back and just spreading and enjoying the state of your being. As things came in and you experienced them, you push them away again in the Bible and you go read, I don’t read the Bible, you know that. But basically I did once and now that all my growth for all these years, all they did was show the truths that are being said. And so basically they walked in the garden and what happened? They ate of the tree of self-knowledge. In other words, I’m not the whole, I looked at creation enough to where I identified what I was at consciousness instead of experiencing itself as consciousness, experiencing creation, it looked so close at creation that it identified. I was looking at that is the fall from the garden. How do you know?

Because someday you will go deep enough inside and come back and watch it happen. And there are beings, people that have gone back and can’t get back up there and they know what it’s like to fall. They got caught in their egos, they got caught in themselves. They got caught in looking at their thoughts, their emotions, their body and what’s coming in through their senses. That is a very small part of the universe. How much of the universe are your thoughts? I’m going to drop aray from anything. How much of the universe are your emotions? It’s so small. It’s ridiculous. How much of the universe is your body? A lot of atoms out there but you don’t think like that. How much of the universe is what you’re seeing right now of all that there is everywhere? How much are you seeing? Nothing. Nothing but what you’re seeing is the most important thing to you, period.

What you’re thinking is the most important thing to you. What you’re feeling is the most important thing to you and your body sure is the most important thing to you. So consciousness, which is everything, it all expanses throughout the entire universe. You’re the creator of the universe. Your consciousness is. Consciousness is consciousness. Water is water. But a consciousness is aware. It’s aware. That’s its nature. It’s aware that awareness is staring aware of your thoughts, not his thoughts. Your thoughts. Can it be aware of his thoughts? Yes, of course. The only reason you don’t pick everybody else’s thoughts because you’re so busy picking up yours, sit there and stare at your hand. Don’t do it. Stare at your hand. Just really stare at your hand. What else do you see? Nothing. Why? Because I have focused my consciousness on my hand. Therefore that’s all I see is are you capable of seeing?

Of course not. Take down the hand, you see the rest. Alright, stop staring at your thoughts. Wait, you see what you see? Consciousness is everywhere all the way back. You talk about witness consciousness. Everybody likes that. Witness consciousness, mindfulness, witness consciousness. It’s a very nice thing. It’s not that high estate. It’s high. We can’t get there. So what does it mean? It means instead of being lost in my thoughts, I am aware that I’m lost on my thoughts. I am aware that I have thoughts going on in here and I can’t stop them, but I’m aware of that. I’m conscious at a seat that’s outside the thoughts. My heart hurts. How do you know? Because I’m in here. How do you know? Because I’m in here as opposed to, oh my god, I can’t live my heart a bit. I can’t even live. I don’t want to live there.

One, you’re lost in it. The other you are aware of it. That’s witness consciousness. Objective observation. Christian Murray called it. You’re able to sit there objectively and notice the mess that’s going on in there. That’s not that high. What’s high when it’s not even distracting you, it’s not even pulling your consciousness down into it. There’s all kinds of things that don’t distract you. Drive by trees, people you don’t know. Tons of things happen every day that are going through your sensors that do not draw your consciousness down to it. Alright? What if your thoughts didn’t, what thoughts were not distracted? Here she is again. What a drama. Look at her. Oh she’s so cute. Alright, what if you get like that you’re comfortable with being uncomfortable, you’re comfortable with whatever can go on in there, then it doesn’t distract you. It’s not a willful act. If you’re distracted and you willfully try not to be, it’s already too late.

Do you understand that you’re struggling now the spiritual faith isn’t a struggle, it’s a liberation, it’s a freedom. So the question is why am I distracted by these stupid old thoughts? And they are stupid old thoughts. The universe goes on without you. The planet has been here for what, 4.5 billion years. How long have you been here? How long are you going to be here? That’s what it means to be humble. That’s what it means to wake up. You stop putting so much emphasis and importance on these stupid little personal thoughts. Not how do I satisfy them? We go, go on we way out there. Fall for the garden, go out. So now you don’t feel the love. So I need to find it. So I need to struggle and compete. What does it say when you fell for the garden? Now you must work by the sweat of your brow to be okay.

Oh my God, those are the exact words. Now you must work by the sweat of your brow. Anybody working on the sweat of the brow to get what they want and avoid what they don’t want all the time. If you’re not distracted by what you built in there with your psyche, the consciousness doesn’t get pulled down there. It gets pulled up and you start to explore your natural state. Alright? Why can’t I be there? Naturally, it’s very nice to talk about that you’re made out of ecstasy and love, but I don’t feel it. Well, good is it? Why don’t you feel it? Because you blocked it. How did I block it? By refusing to experience the reality that’s unfolding in front of you.

But why is it unfolding in front of you? You want a true answer, none of your business, the actual moments unfolding right then, right there. It’s because of all the things that made it be there cause of effect. Why is it raining? It’s my birthday. It’s not raining because it’s your birthday. It’s raining because there’s a low zone and the El Nini are fighting each other. I don’t know. Whatever it is. It’s called meteorology. You want to find out what’s raining on your birthday? Go study. Go and study meteorology. What you’re going to find out, it ain’t got nothing to do with your birthday, your birthday’s not even in the book. Look, I didn’t know it was your birthday, but you say it. Why is that the rain on my birthday, don’t you? And then you resent it and all of a sudden you don’t like birthdays anymore.

Why? I guess that means God doesn’t love me. What’s wrong with me? What a mess you make in there. Okay? Alright. Why do you do that? Because some things when they come in are comfortable and some things that come in are uncomfortable. Why? Because that’s the nature of things. If a butterfly comes and lands on your arm, it’s flying around you. Woo. It’s beautiful. If a rattlesnake is rattling in front of you, that’s not, they feel different. If somebody says really nice things to you, oh my god, you’re so handsome yourself, thank I love you so much. That feels really good. It’s a vibration. Everything’s vibrations. They’re all vibrations. And somebody walks up to you and says, oh my God, you’re so ugly. You should take it out of the gene pool. Alright, that doesn’t feel so good, right or wrong. Okay, can you handle those vibrations or do you need to run after the person that was nice to you and run away from the person that wasn’t nice and never see them again and avoid the rest of their life?

Why? Because I couldn’t handle that. I couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t let it be the experience that I had. It’s just another experience to God, to consciousness. It’s just whew, it’s another experience. Another experience. There’s a storm, there’s a balmy beautiful day. They’re the same. It’s just an experience, it’s an expression of nature, but we can’t handle it. So we do what we resist. We either clinging or resist. Those are the keywords. And when you clinging, it stays well. What’s wrong with clinging to something I like you miss the rest. I’m not telling you not to do it. I tell you, I’m not telling how to live your life. I just want you to understand the deeper teachings. If I clinging to the fact that you said something nice to me, I’m in trouble. If you clinging to it, then you think about it and you compare things against it, that’s not as nice as last time.

Last time I felt when you kissed me, I felt something deeper. You love me anymore. What are you doing? Every experience is new and different not to you. There’s this one I didn’t like and there’s one that I like and now I’m comparing everything against those. So you can’t be here now. So clinging and resisting mean you miss the rest of your life. I resisted it. So I held it inside of me. Now I’m afraid it’s going to happen again. And so I look around to make sure it doesn’t look like it. Look at how you’re sitting. My ex-boyfriend used to sit like that before he dumped me. Are you going to dump me? Tell me, are you sure? How can I trust you? Pretty funny, isn’t it? Okay, and if you clinging to it, same thing. So basically we have made a mess in there by storing mostly bad experiences, alright?

We didn’t like to have ’em, so we pushed them away. They stayed inside of you. And I’m telling you, you push those down on top of your Shakti flow. You did what we call block yourself. If somebody hurt you and you really got hurt because you opened and you felt love, you will be afraid of opening again because you push that experience down on top of your heart and it’s not going to open. It used to. It may never open. It used to most people got hurt enough to where they don’t open. Totally very cautious. Careful. You can’t trust people you know can’t trust people just because they said they love you. I’m scared it won’t be there tomorrow. But then you’re not feeling love anymore. You’re feeling fear, you’re protecting yourself. So we are not willing to open. We don’t know how to open because we store all this stuff on top of our hearts so the heart can’t open and the mind can’t open.

We shoved all these experiences down and I’m telling you, they’re on top of your Shakti flow. They’re on top of that natural flow that feeds you. And so that’s what happened. And so you made a mess in there. And so now that’s why you have desires and fears. Remember we talked about you going out there to get what you want, to avoid what you don’t want. I want to know why you want it and why you don’t want it. What he doesn’t want more than anything. Your whole life, you didn’t even thought about it. It starts happening. You don’t even notice it. He stored something in there from the past that this is reminding him of. And so basically you have created desires and fears. You have created desires and fears based on what you stored inside of you. And guess who says that? And psychology says, man is the sum of his learned experiences.

They’re right that your psyche is the sum of your learned experiences. What else can it be? It can’t be the sum of your not learned experiences. Your thoughts are based on experiences you never had. No, I don’t think so. The computer is spitting out results based on the data you didn’t put in. No, it doesn’t know how to do that. So yes, your psyche is the sum learned experience. You are not. You’re the consciousness noticing that your psyche is the sum learned experiences. So they’re admitting that your desires and your fears are learned things, not your physical exempted. The animalistic basic body stuff. I’m talking about psychology, your psyche. Your psyche is some of your learned experiences and that’s why you have desires and fears. You have desires and fears because things happened to you in the past that you learn to be afraid of instead of experiencing them and being able to, yes, I was swimming and oh my God, I gulped some water and I realized I started coughing and somebody came and helped me.

I was seven years old. I’m not going near water ever going to the rest of my life. Swimming is not safe. People swim all the time, not for me. And guess what? You think you’re right, don’t you? What you say to people? No, no, you don’t understand. I had the experience myself. Big deal. Everybody has experiences. You had one experience and it carved your life. Do you hear me? That’s your fears. What’s your desires? God, when I was young, something happened. I was so beautiful and somebody said something really nice to me and said, now I dress a certain way. And I tried to look and see if other people could feel that way. I was seven, but for the rest of my life I want to feel that feeling again. And so now you have desires and fears. How do you know what to desire?

Lemme tell you right now what you desire she don’t want. And guess what you desire today you may not want tomorrow. They are not real things. They’re based upon what you stored inside of you and psychology. Agree. Freud agree. They’re based upon what you stored inside of you. You stored it inside of you. So now you’re going to behave like that. Yes, you’re right. Why did you store it inside of you? Do you have to have stored it inside of you? He admitted he didn’t. They had psychotherapy. You can work at it. You can talk about it then Why is it in there if doesn’t not be in there? Because you stored it in there. You couldn’t handle the experience. Well, I almost drowned. I know it’s an experience. No, no, it’s not an experience. Terrible thing. It’s an experience. It happened and you experienced it That made it an experience.

No. Yes, it happened by definition and you experienced it. If it didn’t happen, there’s no problem. If it didn’t experience, there’s no problem. But it happened. You experienced it. Therefore it’s an experience. Could you handle the experience? No. I understand you were seven years old. You never meditated yet. You never worked on yourself yet you didn’t even know. And your mother, oh my God, you never go the water. Oh my God, I So I’m scared you were meant to be water. You’re not a fish or a fish. And by the time all this got dumped on top of you, you ain’t going near the water ever again. And you think people are crazy that go near the water and you don’t date them. And you blog with people who almost drown. Anybody listening, okay. That’s why it’s a mess in there. That’s why you have fears and desires because you built them inside.

That’s why your particular fears and desires are your particular fears and desires. Nobody has the same fears and desires you do because nobody had the same experiences as you. So is there something I can do about this? Yes. How about satisfying my fears and avoiding my desires? Have fun because you won’t, you’ll work for the sweatier brow every single day of your life. You’ll wake up scared that what you don’t want to happen will happen. You’ll wake up wanting to devote yourself that maybe someday your ship will come in. There is no ship and her ship is different than yours and there’s just one ocean. So I don’t know what’s going to happen. That’s where wars come from. That’s why everybody’s fighting with everybody. So what’s deeper, deeper is to see why do I have fears and desires? And I just told you why? Because you store it inside of you.

Blockages that mean you don’t feel the fulfillment of the energy that’s natural to your being. So now you have to do something. Well, how come if I meet somebody, I feel love because it’s that somehow the interaction of they looked like your sister and the glasses they were wearing, your favorite clown wore that when you were little. There’s just all kinds of inputs that came in, hit the stuff you stored inside and caused you to open. It was an opening experience. Why? Because you’re normally closed. And this just the chemistry or chemistry, physics. It’s just energy vibrations that they hit all your stuff in there and these particular ones, look, you think if somebody walks up to you and is really straight with you and isn’t making jokes and so on, you like that kind of person, right? Somebody else. That’s boring. My uncle was like that, but my other uncle, he used to play tricks.

Oh it me, right? So what you like and what you don’t like as it starts happening outside will cause you to open or close. So it’s conditional. It’s conditional wellbeing and because it’s conditional, it will not last. I’m sorry to tell you that that feeling of tremendous love and oh my God, if you meditate, if you work on yourself, it can last. But under normal conditions, which most people are, they’re not going to last. Why? They’re going to do something you don’t like? Something’s going to happen or you’ll see something else that turns on more. Okay? So it’s like it’s just happening in there. These energies are interacting, causing opening and closing. So the cause of desires and fears, the root of desires and fears of the stuff you resisted throughout your life and you resist every single day. The driver in front of you, the weather that somebody said, you do it all the time.

All the time you complain and push it away and you store it inside of you. There are people drive down the road and have somebody run a red light on 39th and you’re ramming your brakes and you speed around. You don’t hit anything very good. You do a good job, right? I’m telling you, every time you drive through that intersection, your heart will do this. And by the way, depending on how scared you are, you may never drive down that road again. No, you are on 39th. That’s not safe. I always got killed on that road. How can you drive down that road? You drove down the road every day of your life before that happened, one incident. Now all of a sudden it’s a not safe road. Anybody listening, how silly. This is the some of your learned experiences. So you wake up and you realize your fears and your desires can be dealt with at a much deeper level to where you liberate yourself as opposed to struggle to try to fulfill your fears and your desires.

But it’s work. But it’s work to try and avoid your fears and fulfill your desires. It’s a lot of work. You work all the time. Every minute you’re thinking, what do I do? Should I, I shouldn’t have said that. Oh my God, I’m embarrassed. You hear me? It’s work to sit there and try to fulfill your desires and avoid your fears. So yes it is work to let go of that garbage you stored inside. It is work. There’s no question about it, right? But it works. That’s the difference. You’ve been trying to fulfill your desires and avoid your fears your entire life, the toys, the this, the that, and you’re still doing it. What does that tell you? It doesn’t work. If you’re still doing something you’ve done every single day of your life, every minute of your life for your entire life and you’re still doing it.

Hello? Maybe it doesn’t work. Is there something that does work? Yes. Remove the cause, the root. Well, how do you do that? First you listen to a talk like this. I’m surprised you’re still here, okay? And you realize, well, wouldn’t that be nice to just be okay? Well would I do if I’m okay? You’d express your okayness, you’d share the love, you’d bring peace every place you go. You’d be a very great being and a blessing on earth. Not another person trying to take what they want or need and avoid. So don’t think you won’t do anything. Love likes to express inspiration creates. That’s who you’ll be. Not I’m going out here to get something. I’m going out here to express the beauty within my being. So don’t tell me that if I was fulfilled I wouldn’t do anything. Yes you would. You’d create, you’d be very beautiful.

So basically, how does one get to that state now that we’ve discussed? Not living your life to get what you want and avoid what you don’t want. You’re down there and you start seeing now that’s witness consciousness. Deep witness consciousness. You start noticing why you’re like this and you’re not going to like what you see. Let’s get that straight right now. You’re not going to like what you see period. But you have to be comfortable not liking it. If you’re not comfortable, you’ll suppress it more. I don’t want to be like this. I don’t want to be like that. I don’t want to feel this. I don’t want to be jealous. I don’t want to feel jealousy. Do you feel jealous? Yes. I don’t want to. No, that’s not how to work with it. How do you work with anger or jealousy or fear with those things?

You learn to be comfortable with them doesn’t mean you do them right? Let’s say you feel some jealousy, okay? Everybody knows what that if ever fact that you know what the word means. Means You’re in there noticing that there’s that stuff in there. Jealousy not out here. Anger’s not out here. It’s in there. And you know what it is, don’t it? So how do you deal with some jealousy, some mild jealousy? You sit there and say Yes, because I have needs and because I have fears, I’m afraid of losing what I want. That’s what jealousy is. It’s fear of loss. It’s fear of loss. It’s fear that you’re going to leave me. It’s fear that somebody else is going to take you away. It’s fear that something’s going to happen. That hurts me. Can you handle that? Not can you deny it? It doesn’t work to say, I don’t want to be jealous.

I’m not jealous. Do what you want. I’m not jealous. You are. So that’s just how you’re trying to deal with it. And you may have to deal with it instead of acting jealous, you may have to do that. I’m not telling you how to live your life. I’m telling you what you’re capable of. What you’re capable of is when you start to feel jealous or anger or fear that you have the right to relax. Well, what kind of thing is that? It’s the highest thing you can do to be able to not resist when something is coming up that’s purification. If you can see it, see it for what it did not blame anybody. It’s just, okay, this what’s going on inside of me, it’s mine and I can relax in the face of it. I can welcome it to purify. I can welcome whatever it was that I store down there that has this insecurity, that has this kind of stuff.

I can welcome it to come up while I witness consciousness. The self, the consciousness is relaxing and welcoming it to release. Is it easy? No, of course it’s not easy. If it was stored with pain, it’s going to come back with pain. When it happened, you weren’t able to handle the pain so you pushed it away. You stored pain, didn’t you? So when you don’t resist it, normally if it comes back up, you push. Do you express it to get it out of you or you push it back down or expressing it and you’re going to make a mess of your life it you’ve done it all the time or you push it back down, it’s going to be down there and get worse. What’s the alternative? Honor the purification process. There’s something I pushed down there when I was eight. Something happened that I did.

I’m 38 years now. I don’t need to have that down there. I’ve grown. I’ve experienced life more. I’m more able to handle things. I evolved inside and so when it comes back up, I welcome it back up. Is it easy? No, it’s not easy. Nor is childbirth. It’s called soul birth, but the result of it is greater than childbirth. What you get inside is the most beautiful being that was ever created. And so you keep letting go. You just relax and release. You relax and release. That’s called your inner work, your inner growth instead of working to get what you need so you don’t have to feel that you work on letting go of why it’s in there. At first you’re going to feel a tendency to resist it. And something inside will say, you will say, here’s your favorite mantra. I can’t handle this.

You change your mantra. I can handle this. You’re welcome to say that I can handle this. Is it difficult? Yes. Look how difficult. It’s to get what you want, how difficult. It’s to avoid what you don’t want. But that’s the loser because it’ll always be there. Here I can say, I can handle this. I can handle this discomfort. I’m telling you right now, if you’re cleansing, it is not comfortable because what you’re cleansing is what you stored that was not comfortable. And so at first stage is practice non-resistance. Now you understand what do mean want to teach. Acceptance doesn’t mean let everything in the world happen any way it is. It means accept the fact that you have that stored in there and you’re going to let it go. Surrender, release it. So your first stage is non-resistance. That’s not the end. What you’ll find when you start growing, really growing and you start being comfortable and seeing the benefit of this process, I don’t have to carry this aside of me forever.

Isn’t that nice? Wouldn’t it be nice to be a little less jealous so that you don’t have to worry where everybody is all the time and they didn’t call you. There are people that have to text each other all the time, every minute. What are you doing? Are you okay? You’ll reach a point where you realize I’m okay, I’m okay. If she stays, she stays, she leaves, she leaves, has a very high state. I love her with all my heart. But guess what? I felt the love before I met her. I feel the love while I’m expressing it with her. And I’ll feel the love the same when she leaves. Oh, I want to have a relationship with you. You’re going to be a wonderful, wonderful person to have a relationship with. Yes, you give your love completely, but you know that you’re fine. She’s not the reason.

You’re fine. You’re fine because you’re fine and you’re sharing that fineness with her or him. That’s beautiful. That’s a true relationship. You understand that you’re giving the love you have not you’re taking somebody. They have to behave exactly the right way and dress the right way and say the right thing and leave you alone when you want to be left alone. And so you let go and you pay the price. And so at first it’s tough. Then you realize if I let it go, it is nicer in here. It takes some time. It’s not going to go once you’ve had it in there for a long time. So just let it be what it is. But I’m trying to get rid of it. And the world keeps unfolding away. That keeps hitting it. That’s right. Because the earth is a place that souls are sent to evolve.

The earth is a place that souls are sent to evolve, therefore it’s going to hit your stuff. Why? Because you have the stuff you are supposed to have, the stuff you get to evolve by handling the situations. And so it comes and you relax. You try to non-resistance, but that’s not the end. When you do that for a while and it’s years, you’re talking about real growth. Look how long you work to get the corner office or to make money or to have a relationship and they don’t last. It doesn’t do anything. When it’s all said and done. This every single bit that you let go of, you’re a higher being. You’re open to way more areas. So then you’ll find out first. Then you’ll find out it’s really nice that I have this stuff in there or unburdened. And then when it starts to come up and you’re not totally ready, but you start say, oh boy, another one of life experiences.

Okay, I can handle it. I prove I can handle it. Take a breath, ready to go. And you start doing that. You start working with it. Not as much resistance, a little more, yes, I want to go through this, I want to go through this. That’s not even the end there. Then you get more energy because you let go. So you become higher and now it starts to happen and you start to welcome it. It’s not okay, I want to one, okay, I’ll go through it. I’m willing to go through it. Right? You welcome me. You say, oh boy, I wonder what it would be like after this. Oh, this is a big one. People I love when people talk to me that way. Sit there and say it’s a really big one. I could see it keeps coming back up. It is like really, really unbelievable effect it’s having on me.

I can’t wait to see what’s on the other side. Wow. And then I said recently I’ve seen another state where you look there, you see it and you welcome it and you’re growing and so on. And now you look at it and you feel compassion and you look at it and you say, I’m so sorry that I shoved you down there. That’s not nice. What do you think’s going to happen? You shoved that darkness down there inside your being and refused to let it come back up your whole life. And you apologized to it. You said, I’m so sorry. I wish I had been involved enough as I am now. To not push you down there and you take it by the hand like you would take a little kid, say, let me help you out. I’m here for you and I’ll stop here. That’s hard.

I love you listening. You hear me? The bag has a line that’s so beautiful. It says, one should raise the self with self, not trampled down the self for self, which is self friend can become self foe using ottman capital and ottman, lowercase. The higher self should raise the lower self, not trample it down, push it away. Not like it hate it because self, which is self’s friend can become self phone if you fight with it. And so you start welcoming and apologizing to it. And as it started by saying you did it, nobody else is in there but blaming you. It’s like guilt thing that when you were five years old, something happened. You had a bad experience and still inside of there. But at some point you say, well I wish I had been more evolved. I would not have treated you that way.

And we can deal with it now from a higher place. And where do you see what happens inside you when you reach that state? First fear goes away. Why? If that experience can psychologically make you afraid, it means you can let go of more stuff. And all of it just becomes every minute of your life is growth experience. Literally every minute from the time you wake up in the morning to go to bed at night, there’s the opportunity to let go of more. And when you let go of more, there’s just ecstasy more and more. How would you like to live like that? There’s only one thing stopping you. Nothing in this world can take away your growth. All it can do is stimulate it. So we talked about that there are levels you can live your life, will you work on these things? Don’t have to rush any little bit works anytime. You can just use that opportunity to remember this talk. Can I handle this? Do I want to let go and get this out of me once and for all? Thank you for listening. Jai Guru Dev.

Tami Simon: You’ve been listening to The Michael Singer Podcast, produced by Sounds True in partnership with Shanti Publications. For more information on Michael’s body of work and all back episodes, please join us at MichaelSingerPodcast.com. Thanks so much for listening. Sounds True: waking up the world.