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4 Ways to Practice Gratitude This Holiday Season

The holiday season can be hectic and overwhelming, with many mixed emotions, from excitement to stress. It’s the perfect time to commit to a daily practice of gratitude which will help you experience more moments of contentment and joy and give you resilience to handle the many challenges (including travel and stressful relatives). And when you share your gratitude with others, you help them feel seen, valued, elevated, and help yourself feel more closely connected to people in your life. Here are four ways to practice gratitude this holiday season. 

Say Thank You and Mean It

When you thank someone, be intentional about it and put your heart and appreciation into your words. Take a moment, pause, look them in the eye, smile, and say ‘Thank you’. If there is something specific you want to thank them for, do it, go the extra step, that’s awesome.

Daily Gratitude Bookends

Begin and end your day by writing down a few things you’re grateful for. Literally bookend your day with gratitude. If you’re not a journaling type, that’s fine—how about sharing what you’re grateful for with someone else, like a family member, friend, or co-worker—in-person or via text or email. You won’t just be practicing gratitude for yourself but inspiring them to do it also. Remember to be as specific as possible and don’t neglect really small moments.

Gratitude Zoom

If you’re feeling down or caught in a negativity spiral, pause and challenge yourself to find something you can appreciate within your experience, however small. For example, if you’re sad about being sick and missing out on what you would rather be doing, can you feel grateful that you have medicine or a comfortable place to recover or people around to help care for you?

Gratitude Antidote

When something stresses you out—too much traffic, an annoying colleague, etc.—use it as a reminder to practice gratitude. You don’t have to be grateful for whatever is stressing you out, but use it as a nudge to pause, take a breath, and think of something, however small, that you are grateful for in that moment. When you do this, you prevent your brain from going into a negativity spiral, where one annoying thought brings on another, and another, and another, until you have a really rough day.

 

Nataly Kogan is an author (Happier Now), speaker, and the founder of Happier. Her work has been featured in hundreds of media outlets, including the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, TEDx Boston, SXSW, and Dr Oz. Nataly lives with her husband and daughter in Boston. For more, visit happier.com.

 

Being Mindful of Not Being Mindful

Modern life is chock-full of habits of mind that get in the way of mindfulness. Be on the lookout for them in your own life. Steering clear of them will be part of practicing mindfulness.

Here are some of the most common things that pull people out of mindfulness:

  • Thinking about the past (literally taking you out of the moment)
  • Thinking about the future (ditto)
  • Multitasking
  • Judging, analyzing, criticizing, or evaluating
  • Attaching to thoughts or observations
  • Pushing away thoughts or observations
  • Having a lack of intention
  • Having a lack of compassion
  • Being in denial

 

WISE MIND LIVING PRACTICE

Catch Yourself Being Judge-y

Judgment is one of the most common ways to pull yourself out of mindfulness. Whether you are judging your experience as good, bad, or ugly, it’s an obstacle to be fully present in the moment. And you do it all the time. Everyone does. The way to do it less — the way to not let judging interfere with your ability to be mindful — is to increase your awareness of when you are judging.

Try spending a few days noticing all the judgments you make throughout the day. About anything and everything: “What the hell is that lady wearing?” “Yuck, this food is gross!” “I should not be the one handling this!” Any time you catch yourself playing Judge Judy, notice it, label it as a judgment, and resist the temptation to judge yourself for being judgmental. Then try to tell yourself the same story but with neutral (nonjudgmental) language: “Her shirt is bright.” “Oh, that is bitter.” “I have a task that I do not like.” With enough practice, you’ll begin to make that kind of switch automatically — in mindfulness practice as well as in life.

 

Looking for more great reads?

 

Excerpted from Wise Mind Living by Erin Olivo

Erin Olivo, PhD, MHD, is a licensed clinical psychologist and an assistant clinical professor of medical psychology at Columbia University. She has a psychotherapy practice in New York City. See erinolivo.com.

Come visit Sounds True Radio!

Come on by and take a listen to Sounds True Radio! – http://www.soundstrue.com/radio/

Our free, 24-hour-a-day, streaming radio station offers music for yoga, meditation, relaxation, and inspiration; audio teachings from bestselling and highly respected authors; and insightful and provocative interviews with spiritual teachers and authors on the cutting edge. We also have a new channel which provides selections from many of our new releases. Sounds True Radio is an easy (and free!) way to connect with our authors and to immerse yourself in heart-opening and life-changing wisdom. Through the station, you can also access our our acclaimed Insights at the Edge podcast.

Whether you’re interested in mindfulness, personal growth, emotional healing, awakening and the spiritual journey, creativity, meditation, mantra, sacred chant, brainwave and other healing music, kirtan, or world music of all kinds, you’ll be sure to find something to inspire and open you to the preciousness of the journey that we share together. We look forward to connecting with you at Sounds True Radio soon!

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Love is Being Present

How do we stay truly present to whatever is happening in our lives?  How do we practice living from the deep gratitude that each of us has experienced in fleeting moments?  How do we remember, with every breath, the miracle of simply existing, the miracle of this body that sustains us from the moment we come into human form until the moment we go out again—while remembering also that our true being is not confined by the body, did not begin with birth, and does not end at death?

Truthfully, for me at least, it’s hard to navigate daily life from this place of grateful remembrance.  It’s hard not to get caught up in bills and deadlines, irritations and disagreements, until life begins to feel like a series of problems to be solved or tasks to be crossed off the to-do list.  Sometimes it takes the shock of the unexpected to open us again to a truer sense of who and what we are.

A month ago, my Uncle James came down with what he thought was bronchitis.  By Thanksgiving, he’d been given supplemental oxygen to cart around, but still no one knew what was going on.  A week ago, with breathing an increasing struggle, he went to the hospital in hopes of finally getting an accurate diagnosis.  After a series of biopsies and CAT scans, the news came back: idiopathic interstitial lung disease.  There’s no known cause and no treatment.  In fact, idiopathic means simply “arising spontaneously from an obscure or unknown cause.”  I guess one could say the same about life itself.

Today, my uncle is headed home to enter hospice care.  He’ll be surrounded by his sisters and brother, his nephews and nieces, grand-nephews and grand-nieces.  His kindness and his humor remain intact even as his body fails.  He’s not afraid, he says, of death—only of dying.  I have been through this before, with my father.  I know the strange stew of thankfulness, sorrow, love, regret, joy, loss and celebration that comes with the imminent loss of one you love.  In times like this, it’s easier to be absolutely present, knowing it might be the last moment we spend with someone dear to us.

But every moment could be the last moment, and every breath along the way is cause for celebration.  It’s an absolute miracle that we’re here at all; that there’s something rather than nothing.  These bodies, these lives, these relationships we have with other beings—all of it is miraculous.  That being pours itself unceasingly into existence to experience all this—as earth, sky, stars, wind, water; as you, as me, as my Uncle James—is miraculous.  And when we can remember this, even in the midst of the most ordinary tasks, then we really live the miracle of our own being, and know how vast we are.  Through all our losses, nothing is lost. Through all our changes, what we are is unharmed, unchanging, eternal.  The great German modernist Rilke captures this sense beautifully in his poem “Autumn”:

We all are falling. Here, this hand falls.

And see—there goes another. It’s in us all.

   And yet there’s One who’s gently holding hands

 let this falling fall and never land.

Whatever life brings, may we not forget those gently holding hands.

Postscript: James Mitchell passed away on Friday, December 27, surrounded by family.  He was 67 years old.

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gina Breedlove: The Vibration of Grace

We all carry grief in one form or another. Whether it’s unhealed wounds from our past or a heart that’s breaking over the suffering in our world, so many of us are desperately seeking solace and hope. In their new book, Vibration of Grace, vocalist and traditional sound healer, gina Breedlove, brings us a toolbox of rituals and practices to invoke the power of sound as a vehicle of love and liberation—for ourselves, our loved ones, and everyone around us. 

In this podcast, Tami Simon speaks with gina about their life and work, sharing insights on: using your voice as a healing technology; how humming soothes a dysregulated nervous system; the communal practice of grief-letting; the “pulling” ritual to release negative energy; processing our “all of a sudden” times; offering love to our bodies; gina’s unique technique for letting go of anger; how intention and inner boundaries help us navigate health challenges; why any practice must be rigorous to be effective; finding sovereignty within our body and discerning what belongs to us; soul retrieval; shifting our narratives around “burden”; and more.

Note: This episode originally aired on Sounds True One, where these special episodes of Insights at the Edge are available to watch live on video and with exclusive access to Q&As with our guests. Learn more at join.soundstrue.com.

Stan Tatkin: In Each Other’s Care

Dr. Stan Tatkin is uniquely talented at helping couples shift from being in each other’s faces to being in each other’s care. In this podcast, Tami Simon speaks to the innovative therapist and author about his new book, In Each Other’s Care: A Guide to the Most Common Relationship Conflicts and How to Work Through Them, discussing some of the research-based, practical strategies he has developed in his celebrated PACT (Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy) model.

Give a listen to this gritty, honest, informative, and empowering conversation exploring: cultivating secure functioning relationships; why couples must create their own culture of shared power, respect, and collaboration; finding the balance between independence and interdependence; the one-directional nature of codependency; becoming your partner’s whisperer; why “earned love” is what endures; the fantasy of the same page; attachment versus love; mutual purpose and care as ingredients for an awesome relationship; the physical toll of an insecure functioning relationship; the Sherlocking technique; the power of eye contact; practicing quick repair; touch: an unequivocal signal of friendliness; the basic need in relationship: you and I are OK; the Big Five: sex, money, kids, time, and mess; jealousy and envy; longevity and happiness through co-creating the architecture of your relationship and understanding how you interact under stress; and more.

Note: This episode originally aired on Sounds True One, where these special episodes of Insights at the Edge are available to watch live on video and with exclusive access to Q&As with our guests. Learn more at join.soundstrue.com.

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